E - Everyone

Hidden Entity - 3.2 - The Crater

After the crater was there no more, replaced by a neat grassy area so similar to its surrounding, Terna wiped her hands in satisfaction. Anam looked at her in awe; her ability to construct a part of a planet never ceased to amaze him. But then again, abilities that produced long-lasting creations had always impressed him easily. While his creations represented his vast imagination, they would disappear after several hours, having used up the magical energy, mana, that sustained them.

‘Now that my job here is done, I am sure I can leave,’ Terna said, breaking the silent atmosphere, and turned to him. ‘The portal, Anam?’

‘Oh, Terna, please don’t go yet,’ Ilal said, her voice like a mother soothing her daughter. ‘Don’t you want to help us find the one who caused all of this? Your expertise in planet composition will help us a lot in detecting geographical anomalies.’

Terna held up her hands as if she wanted to crush something before turning them into fists. Then, she sighed. ‘Alright, I’ll help, but only for a few hours. I have something else to do.’ She glided to Ilal.

Anam would’ve clapped for Ilal’s effective persuasion should he not be in front of Terna. Alas, he had to stand with his hands at his back, watching the two goddesses with a pleasant smile on his face. But this was good. Having more deity helping them was good. Perhaps his job would be lesser, though that would mean his progress to be a responsible god would be slowed a little bit. But a little bit was okay, wasn’t it? It wasn’t much.

‘Anam, you should wipe off your smile and join our discussion here,’ Ilal said. Impressive was her observation, as she wasn’t looking at him. She had sit on the field on her folded legs, Terna sitting opposite her. Ilal’s hands rested on her thighs, her back straight. The same went to Terna. Both goddesses knew how to act majestic, even though they used mere human forms to portray that.

Anam joined them. Sitting had always been tricky; he had to adjust the position of his ring so that it wouldn’t collide with his hip. Due to that, he couldn’t perform the simple act with grace or divinity. He didn’t care which leg to fold first, and his hands rested wherever they wanted as long as it was within mortal’s hands’ reach. His ring floated higher, reaching his stomach. ‘What are we discussing right now?’

‘Our course of action,’ Ilal said, looking at both of them. ‘We know the entity is invisible, and we know the crater is made to cover their tracks. What we don’t know is how they use the red gas, and why we have never heard of an entity like that.’

Anam nodded. Entities were a lot, more than they could count. Normally, they were mere forces created by the deities’ laws, and had no Will of their own. They didn’t reach the rank of deities, simply because they didn’t have followers or lands to rule. At least, most of them were like that.

‘An entity who has a Will of their own…’ Ilal shook her head, watching Terna subconsciously moving the grass in a spiral pattern. ‘What good would they get messing with us?’

‘Some entities in the past want to achieve the level of deities,’ Terna said. The grass stopped spiraling. ‘Perhaps this is the same case?’

Anam’s ring continued to orbit, this time just to reflect the current state of his mind. Terna was right - some of the beings tried to gain control of a planet’s certain part, but they eventually failed since they were just reacting to the wishes of the followers. Sometimes, the mortals’ prayers could lull them into wanting control. At the end, the laws pulled them back. Anam didn’t actually understand the whole concept, thus the uneven speed with which his ring moved.

‘Perhaps,’ Ilal said. ‘We have had 934 cases of entities interfering the application of our laws. 729 of them returned back to their default state soon after the common anomaly - a state of no awareness. The remaining 205 managed to gain a longer period of consciousness through transferring human consciousness to them. About 53 achieved the rank of deity and ruled some humans until we killed them.’

Deep inside, Anam wanted to applause Ilal’s memory. Average deity could remember events the past three or four billion years, but Ilal could remember everything since she was eight billion years old. Anam only liked to memorize interesting details since no one bothered asking him about anything. He liked it that way since his head didn’t ache much trying to dig into the dull part of his memory.

Terna nodded as if Ilal’s information was something to be expected, not admired. ‘Out of all cases, we know the entities didn’t have Will in the first place. The common anomaly gave them Will, and when they couldn’t adapt to having it fast enough, it slipped from their position and forced them to revert to their mindless state. Those who knew the trick stole and transformed human consciousness as fuel to contain and develop their Will. Those who knew their Will well enough assumed the position of deities, and took reign until we killed them. They were minor deities, though, so they weren’t a threat.’

The information went passed Anam like a cricket sound. He was thinking something else. ‘These entities - let us assume they are plural - do have Wills, and the crater is proof they could control the Wills pretty well. What confuses me is they didn’t use them as a way to rule humans. It’s really weird.’

‘You have a good point,’ Ilal said. ‘These entities aren’t like the rest. They have Wills and are using them in secret. Whatever they’re planning, I think it’s something grander than what other entities had in mind.’

Anam chuckled. ‘They can’t possibly aim to conquer the Solar System, can they?’

At that, both Ilal and Terna turned to him sharply.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Wolfi
Review
Wolfi wrote a review · Sun Mar 26, 2017 6:34 am

Happy Review Day!!!

Three reviews until my next review star. Three chapter parts of Hidden Entity to catch up on. Perfect!

Sitting had always been tricky; he had to adjust the position of his ring so that it wouldn’t collide with his hip.

I'm having difficulty picturing this, and especially because he's a deity and therefore so darned old it makes me wonder why he still has difficulty sitting. Can't he morph into some other form that makes it easier, or does the ring get in the way with any shape or size he takes?

Entities were a lot, more than they could count.

I don't think the comma should be there, but even without it it's an awkward sentence. Perhaps something simpler like this would be better: "More entities existed than they could count."

The information went passed Anam like a cricket sound.

Should be "pass," although something along the lines of "The information passed through Anam" would work as well.

He was thinking something else.

According to what he says next, however, he was paying attention to what Terna was saying. I'm confused about what exactly a "Will" is, and what a "common anomaly" is, the thing that gave the entities such, but at least I don't feel too behind because Anam says that this talk confuses him as well. The thing is, he says he's confused, and the orbit of his ring reflects that, but he seems to understand the conversation pretty well so I'm having trouble believing that. I'm also not sure that I understand the concept of an entity itself. Where does it come from? What form does it take? What is its purpose or goal? I feel like it's an important thing to understand because, well, it's in the title!

This chapter part's too short for me to say much more, and anyway not much happens except a conversation and info-dumping that could use some refining (perhaps some metaphors to relate entities to real-life things, to help your readers understand them better?), so I'll collect my thoughts and move on to the next part.

Keep up the good work! If anything I said needs clarification, let me know!

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Mea
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Mea wrote a review · Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:12 pm

Hi Light! Don't worry, I'll be gentle this time.

So... I'm guessing the entity wants to conquer the Solar System. :P

I'm honestly a little confused by the entities. What are they made out of? I understand that the gods created them by nature of their laws, and that they normally don't have wills of their own, but then they sometimes develop one and cause trouble. What I don't understand is how they rise to the level of deity - the way you described it made it sound like the only requirement was for the entity to rule over humans, but I don't think that's what you meant. So what's the difference between an entity and a deity, other than that deities have a will? And where do humans or other physical creations fit in? Are they able to become a deity?

Also... can I just say spren? (Have you read Way of Kings? I don't remember. :P )

I can't help but wonder what "The common anomaly" is. It's kind of a contradiction in terms, as "common" implies something that happens often, whereas "anomaly" usually refers to some weird space thing that is pretty rare and nobody understands.

So, I also noticed you referred to the magical energy as mana, and to be honest I wouldn't recommend that you do that. "Mana" is pretty much only used in games - anyone who hears the word thinks of old RPGs. It's really heavily associated with games and gaming, and doesn't fit in a fantasy book that has no other game-like elements to it.

I really liked the little details, like Terna making the grass spiral, and again Anam's attitude brings a lot more color and interest to these parts. His character just makes me smile.

Ilal could remember everything since she was eight billion years old

I wasn't sure if you were saying Ilal could remember everything because they were 8 billion years old, or that they can remember everything that's happened since that time. Also, I think this is a great thing to address and makes them feel a lot more like deities - showing their long memory and how they deal with it without going insane. I also like that Ilal's ability to count up all those incidents so quickly shows that they have a brain that is very different from ours.

I think the main thing you could work on for this part is making the explanations a little clearer, as well as maybe injecting more of Terna's personality into the story.

And that's all I've got this time! Eagerly awaiting the next. <3

Hey, thanks for the review. :D

1) Yes, there's more about being a deity than we've been told, but in the future we'd be introduced to the hierarchy of deities, the minor and the major.

2) Yes, you can. I think I'm going to make the Heralds as my inspiration for the Children of Creation. ;)

3) Common anomaly is like a common glitch that is outside the control of deities. I think I'll have to use more accurate phrase.

4) Good point about the mana. (y)

5) Good point about the suggestion too. Hmm.

Thanks again! xD



History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
— Napoleon Bonaparte