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125,009 Literary Works • 672,838 Reviews
yeah yeah ik. now that im awake (i was pretty much asleep) i do see alot of mistakes. i chose the name mindy because it was supposed to painfully remind link of midna. also the reason its so short is because it cut me off so i had to go back a few sentences and write the last bit in. so....but so many days later i bought a notebook and wrote 8 (better) chapters in it. im hoping to to switch to were it is similar to my one writtened down. thx for your feed back
i do realize i was being careless and junk.
Erm. I don't know if you meant to or not, but a few more paragraphs would be nice.
Look, I'm gonna be a little mean here. I love the video game you're doing this story on. However, not a bit of this new story makes sense. Where do these new people come from, why did they chose Ordon? Why would you chose the name Mindy? Look, there is no more to this story. There really can't be. Unfortunately, it's over, and it's done with. You may love this game, and the story behind it, but clearly you can't continue it in a fashionable manner.
Another thing? They spoke way differently than the way we speak now. Nobody would be that harsh about his feelings, and he wouldn't just sit there around all these other people. Nor would he let some random stranger ride Epona. Link would not care one bit about those people, nor would he care about what other people thought of his behavior or his mood. He isn't the mayor, why should he care?
And it isn't just the story. It's the way you wrote it. I think it's fast paced, it does not make sense, and I don't think that you can expand on the Legend of Zelda; Twilight Princess any more. The makers stopped where they did for a reason. My advice? Keep your fanfiction to yourself.
*choose x2
yeah ik i was like passing out when i wrote this....it was a bet (i won 20 bucks yay!new drawing and writing supplies) anyway its changing ALOT. so time for EPIC STORY MAKEOVER!
fine what-efs
Is it just me or is my story a little fast pase? i wanted to eight more but i guess i used up all my points? anyway ill try to type up another chapter on tomorow wich is the 8th! this time i intend for there to be link, Midna AND zelda! yay! hurrah hurrah! yada yada yada