Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world)
Oooh the competition is heating up today. Expect a hailstorm of reviews. This is getting good.
First Impression: More twists and turns. Slight issue here. The descriptions felt a bit rushed. Considering how fast this story has been moving it seems appropriate but I personally think this would be a good point to slow the pacing a bit if you want to establish a clear setting. Or you could forgo the more detailed description and go full on fast paced without throwing up descriptions. Otherwise the two opposing styles tend to disrupt the overall flow of the story.
“Blimey.” Will started. “If I trip over one more root, I’ll die -” he was interrupted by Akol who stuck out his leg, making him trip. Will’s feet tangled beneath him and he fell face first into the dirt. “Ow.”
This devil becomes more likable as a character the more I read. I don't know if you intended that but that's what's happening.
The three of them started again on the track, Akol doing a few annoying pranks along the way. In their hearts, Will and Audrey were sending curses to him. The sun was rising now and the sky was a mix of pink, purple, and orange. Audrey whipped out her phone when she saw the beautiful scene, and took a picture. When they reached a larger clearing that stretched far and wide, her mouth dropped.
So this one is a perfect example. The description is a bunch of colors thrown out then we have a phone and it just feels like it happens too fast.
"What do you mean?" she breathed. "This is beautiful."
"Not after the Attack." Akol said bluntly.
Why do I get the feeling she's seeing something different from what Akol is seeing.
"I doubt there's internet."
"Mobile data."
"No satellite, either."
"We'll see."
Hey we definitely have internet down here or else I couldn't write this review.
“Emoce tuo. I ma Retsam fo eht Hctid. Wohs flesrouy, won.”
I ma tneulf ni siht egaugnal. Ew esu ti lla eht emit.
Slowly, the rustling stopped and out came the most beautiful creature Audrey or Will had ever seen. She had long silky white hair that flowed down to her feet, her face was clear of flaws, she had bright eyes the color of the moon, and there was an unearthly glow coming from her. Something that almost made Audrey pass out was her wings. They were made of feathers and it looked like there were pearls decorating it, but when Audrey looked closer, there were no pearls on either wing. Not one.
This is the best description in the chapter so far. This feels a lot better than the previous couple that felt like they were inserted just to extend the length a bit.
“Your painter and writer seem precious to you. Hm?” Obraya’s smile left her lips.
I see where the name came from. Though the title would sound better if you make it something along the lines of The Power of Penmanship and Painting. (See what I did there)
“I have to kill two specific people.” Obraya smiled again, the corner of her eyes crinkling.
I've no doubt that this will lead to some interesting things down the line with angels being portrayed as the villains.
Akol held out his right hand and a white substance - mist, was it? - danced out of his palm, and swirled around Obraya, making her freeze. Her smile was still there and her eyes looked empty, sending chills up Audrey and Will’s spines. Akol held up his left hand to his side and a flail appeared in his hand with a soft crack! The couple stared in horror and Akol swung the flail around his head three times before smashing it into Obraya’s body. As if made of glass, Obraya shattered into a million pieces.
The magic here seems to be described pretty well. I also feel like this is going to be a very soft magic system. is it?
“Not exactly. And even if I did, Herschel would send another one of his slaves to kill you two. I was protecting you, so shut up and follow me. I’ll explain.” Akol said.
Audrey tried to retort but when she tried to open her mouth, it wouldn’t budge. Neither did Will’s. So they held each other’s hand, and followed Akol out of the dark forest.
And the plot thickens.
Overall: Pretty good plot in terms of the main storyline. The characters continue to interesting and unique. Your magic system was introduced pretty well. Let's see how it holds up.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
P) is actually all the words backwards. In this story, it's called Sabwarcken. But the first word in every sentence has 'e' at the end of it. 
)
Or maybe I'm also just captivated by her glowing moon-ness O-O (Her charm was described really well. I like how she winked and Audrey almost gave her her shoes LOL). 
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