A/N: Just a reminder: Italics is Ashley/Diary. Bold is Luke, Lily's brother. And the normal font is Lily. Happy readings!
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Hello.
I thought you didn't like that greeting anymore. And, it's the middle of the night right now. It's 3:32 am.
I do like that greeting! So what? You were looking at the previous entries and I thought: Why not talk to Luke?
Well, I'm sorry. Hi.
Can you please tell me what the plan is now?! Please?
Okay, first you have to tell me why you kept the entire you being Andrealama's sister a secret from me.
I'm sorry, it's just that I don't like Andrealama, she was always such a snob. I wished myself into a human and knew it was risky, just to get away from her. She was really mean to me. We both hated each other.
That was hard to read. Anyways, that's your fault for not telling me.
I'm sorry, please tell me the plan now. What do you have in mind?
Fine, basically, I was thinking that maybe I could break into the castle and kidnap Her Majesty and ask her to un-curse you.
If I were to be a fairy right now, my jaw would have fallen off. But, thankfully, I am saved.
I'm just kidding!
You idiot! Tell me what the plan is or I'll explode into flames!
You can do that?
Of course! Now tell me.
This is the plan, Ashley: I'll gather up a few of my buddies and we'll break into the castle and get The Queen's wand and I'll figure out a way to un-curse you. I was also thinking that maybe I could get The Forbidden Book Of Magic? Oh, I'll be going bright and early tomorrow, maybe at 6:00 am?
You are an evil genius! If I were a fairy, I would be screaming right now!!!!
I know.
Great! See ya!
Hey! I wanna talk to you about something...
I'm all ears! Even though I'm a diary.
Ashley... I'm really worried about Lily. She has no friends anymore and Andrealama and Emalia are being very mean to her, she's been very sad for the past few days, what do you think I should do?
Be nice and comfort her in times of sadness. Easy peasy lemon squeazy.
Oh, alright, I'll... try it, I guess.
Good luck.
~ ~ ~
Good morning, I heard Luke is going to steal the Forbidden Book of Magic?
Oh, Lily! I'm so happy to see you!
I am too. But, why is he going alone?
He's not going alone, he went with his buddies.
No, I saw him go towards the castle. Alone.
Oh, I can't really do anything about that now can I? Unless you want to go?
UGH! I'LL GO!
Thanks. I really appreciate it.
Whatever.
~ ~ ~
Wow, they are still not here. And it's noon time now.
~ ~ ~
Oh my freaking gosh!!! We got it!! WE GOT THE FORBIDDEN BOOK OF MAGIC AND WE DID NOT GET CAUGHT!!! NO ONE EVEN GOT CLOSE TO SUSPICIOUS!!!!!!!
Wow. Tell me everything, I won't say a single thing.
Everything? Are you sure about that?
Yes, I am. Please, tell me now, I'll stay quiet! Promise!
Okay, fine, Lily, do you want to tell her, or should I?
You can. I'm really tired, I'm gonna go nap. Bye.
Bye, hon.
Okay, so I'll start right from the beginning. I was going to the castle alone and a few minutes later, I heard someone following me and when I turned around, I saw -
Lily!
Yes, shut up now. Anyways, we went towards the castle, it was still dark out so it was pretty easy to blend into the shadows. As soon as we got to The Gate, Lily stopped so suddenly that I thought someone might have shot her!
What?! Lily was shot?!
No, she stopped because she saw the guards patrolling The Gate. So she obviously turned herself and me into two old grannies. That's what she always does, by the way. Anyways. I didn't even know she had brought her wand! I should've brought mine too. When I looked at myself as an old lady and looked at Lily as an old lady, I thought it looked suspicious so I told Lily to turn me into a rat so I could fit into that gigantic purse she was holding. Then, the 'granny' went to the guards and told them she couldn't find a place nearby where she could 'answer the call of nature' so the guards let her - I mean us - in and, boy, oh boy, the castle is even more cool from the inside than it is from the outside.
I wish I came along too.
It's not like you could've seen anything.
True.
Anyway, as the guards were taking us inside they kept on looking at us - I mean Lily. After, when Lily finally stopped at a place that smelled like soap and shampoo I poked my rat head out and saw that we were in the bathroom. Lily told me to get out and so I did, she asked me to go look for the book and guess what?
What?
It was on public display! In the hallway! For everyone to see. And it wasn't even protected by anything.
What?!
I know right? Anyways, Lily took it and replaced it with a fake copy. Then, we covered ourselves with the blanket that's invisible and ran outside and all the way home!
Whoa. I'm really surprised that the Queen didn't find out about you guys.
Yeah, same. But, now the thing is... How am I supposed to change you into a fairy now?
Look into page number five hundred ninety three.
'Kay. I'm on that page now.
Now, look at the seventy fifth line.
Uh, got it!
Now, read the entire sentence and do everything it says.
Okay... Wait! How do you know this stuff?
I did it before.
What?!
Yeah, anyways, read!!!
I'll just copy down everything it says.
'Kay.
Take your wand and hold it one inch away from your belly and point it towards the thing you want to transform, then, say 'Kortamanitowayolamodapiscamoncha', then touch the the thing you want to transform and it shall transform!!!
Haha! Do it now!!
Wait, but then me and Lily won't have a diary anymore!
I DON'T CARE!!! TURN ME BACK INTO A FAIRY!!! I MISS MY FAMILY!!!
Fine, Kortamanitowayolamodapiscamoncha.
Um, there's this really pretty fairy girl standing next to me and she literally just said hi to me and claimed that she is Ashley - you!
Now, she said that that IS her and she's very happy that I finally turned her back.
Ashley! You have to answer me! Why aren't you - Wait! You're just a lifeless notebook now, and Ashley is that beautiful girl standing next to me. Oh my, she just sat down on my bed, oh my fairy god mother! She has the most beautiful ocean blue eyes, olive skin, she's pretty tall, and my! Her eyes... Are so dazzling! Oh my god, I'm still writing in here, I better go drop you - I mean Ashley - back to her house. I'm feeling so nervous! Wish me luck, lifeless notebook!
Yass! Ashley isn’t a diary anymore. She’s a fairy! Oh and it looks like Luke might have a crush on her. Now that the diary is just a diary and Ashley is a fairy again, what happens next? I think she stole the book of magic at one point to make herself human, but then it backfired. What if the Queen didn’t curse her at all? What if she accidentally turned herself into a diary and was too embarrassed to talk about it? I hope that you have an amazing Friday!
Hey, libs, all joking aside, I've come to review your work and let you know what I think. I have very little to critique, but there are a few things I would like to point out that may help you in future works.
"I'm sorry, it's just that I don't like Andrealama, she was always such a snob." you're telling us here, not showing us. SHOW us how she is a snob; please don't just say. In past chapters, you also don't utilize the show vs. tell idea, even though you know it!
It was on public display! In the hallway! I also can see how you use a lot of exclamation marks. I like this; it shows the innocence and youth of the character, and I know you did it on purpose. It makes her seem awkward and naive, which helps her story.
Lastly, "Oh my freaking gosh!!! We got it!! WE GOT THE FORBIDDEN BOOK OF MAGIC AND WE DID NOT GET CAUGHT!!! NO ONE EVEN GOT CLOSE TO SUSPICIOUS!!!!!!!" This line speaks for itself, but please, even in writing within writing, try to express excitement beyond exclamation points. Saying she was shaking when she got the book, saying she did a happy dance, showing us any sign of happiness would do better than this.
Overall, this work is my favorite of yours so far and I'll keep recommending it!
Hannah
Hahahaha! This is hilarious!
I accidently read chapter ten first, and I was so confused. Now everything makes sense, and for some odd reason, I find it funny that Luke tried to write in the diary after he did the spell.
There was one thing that I thought was odd, and that was that Lily was too tired, and went to bed. There were two things odd here, first, it's early in the morning, isn't it? And you'd think that after stealing from the Queen, and fooling the guards, you'd be excited, and want to tell everything. Also, she still hadn't saved Ashley, and she's going to leave her brother to do it? Ashleys her friend, why would she do all that, just to stop, because she's tired?
Last thing has to do with the plan. I would like it, but wasn't Lily important to the plan, because she was going on a field trip to the castle anyways? I think I might have missed something there.
That's it! I really enjoyed this! Keep writing!
P.S, Are you going to continue the series beyond chapter ten, or was that chapter meant to be the end?
Hai, I am here to review this! Okay so ima admit, I haven’t read all of your chapters, ahahaha. But I still sort of grasp the storyline, so that’s a good sign. Apparently it’s a talking diary, or it was once a fairy, but was turned into a diary, and wants to become human again or something? I think your story has a cool plot line, and it seems to be coming along quite well. My only complaint, is I feel like it’s very rushed at times. Which is what happens I guess when you just use dialogue and no narration. I’m not saying it’s bad, I like that you were able to create an entire story just based on dialogue. I just wish you had slowed it down a little, not too much, but like you know not make it feel like things happen in a matter of seconds? I don’t think I’m explaining this correctly XD. But anyways, I liked the characters and their personalities, it brought them to life. This whole thing gives me ever after kind of feels (that one show I was forced to watch all summer 0-0) Which of course isn’t a bad thing, I like the fantasy vibe and hey 10/10 for creativity! I liked the uniqueness that separated yourself from other stories, that’s something I can roll with and read and actually enjoy it. Now these are the kind of things I wanted to read when I was younger, and even now it’s still fun to read. Any age can enjoy this, even if their five months old and can’t read, ahahaha. Now, I just got one question, is this the final chapter? Or like are you writing more...?
~CAKEEEEE~
This is a really good and funny book, I like how you wrote it in script form and I also love how you put and organized the sentences in this story. In this case, you don't need to add quotation marks to this story, due to the fact that the story is a good script. What I was confused on was the last parts, including the part when someone turns into a book or something like that. You can blame me for that, probably because I didn't read it well, or maybe because I forgotten to read a part, meaning that it slipped by me. Anyway, I think that this is a great idea and a piece of art. Great job.
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