Young Writers Society

Liberty500
Hi I'm Ishan and I am really happy that I read your story, White Wolfina Hood.

Great plot, not like the original Little Red Riding Hood, where the girl is the victim. It was rather cool for writing the story with the wolf's perspective.

Ya, your story is everything,
short, good and ya brings a smile.

Read a couple of your stories, you happen to be a great author!!!
Keep Writing!!!
Ishan

Hello! So I guess I'm supposed to give you a review? lol.

The story was really good, it had a nice plot. And I could tell that this is based off on Little Red Riding Hood, and that overall made it very creative and such.

Although, there was still a few things that didn't make that much sense to me. Such as, the setting. You didn't really describe the setting, and the setting is very important to the story at hand. You just mentioned that they were in the woods, and you didn't really say what the characters looked like. But you did build up there personality nicely, and in the end, it was able to have good character development.

For the ending, it ended very abruptly, so I don't know whether or not this piece is done, but I don't think (if it is done), that it should end there, without resolving anything, or the reader not finding out what happened to Red.

Anyway, this piece is really good, and I hope that my criticism was helpful to you (sorry if it wasn't).

bye bye!

Hello! So I guess I'm supposed to give you a review? lol.

The story was really good, it had a nice plot. And I could tell that this is based off on Little Red Riding Hood, and that overall made it very creative and such.

Although, there was still a few things that didn't make that much sense to me. Such as, the setting. You didn't really describe the setting, and the setting is very important to the story at hand. You just mentioned that they were in the woods, and you didn't really say what the characters looked like. But you did build up there personality nicely, and in the end, it was able to have good character development.

For the ending, it ended very abruptly, so I don't know whether or not this piece is done, but I don't think (if it is done), that it should end there, without resolving anything, or the reader not finding out what happened to Red.

Anyway, this piece is really good, and I hope that my criticism was helpful to you (sorry if it wasn't).

bye bye!

Hi!!
Fanta with the review you requested!
Wow, this was really good! I really enjoyed it!
Let's get right into the review!

I couldn't find any spelling mistake whatsoever, so already there have you really impressed me!
Although, I do wonder if you meant to write what-ever,
Or if it was supposed to be whatever. But great job!

Ahh, suggestions, suggestions. I have some, but they aren't really great. Here they are:

"What's that? Let me go check. Voila! A young girl."

I don't really think you need the "Voila!", Although it's very cool. I just thought it was a little unsettling, but you don't need to change it. Instead you can put like "Oh!" Or something. Fits better, in my opinion.

"STOP!" I yell at the top of my lungs.

Ok, this escalated a little too quickly. Try to put in some more details (oh, I know it's super boring to hear that), just for that one area. Like, is some of the wolves sneering, jumping off rocks, accidentally kicking stones across the ground, stuff like that.

That was all my suggestions.

I liked every bit of this story, especially this:

"Wake up, wake up, dear. Please wake up! I'll never scold you again! Wake up! Mummy! I jump up to my paws and look around. The entire wolf pack is around me in the cave. So we aren’t in the forest! The mood is tense. Mummy starts scolding me."

Oh, how much I love this. Thank you for writing that.

Well, I'm sorry if this wasn't helpful, but I really liked it so it was hard to criticise anything at all.
As always, this is only my opinion, and you have every right to just ignore me.

But thank you for bringing this piece to my attention, as it has made some of my day.

Your friend,

Fanta