Young Writers Society

Hi Liberty,

Mailice here with a short review!

This was a very heartwarming story. It led from one event to the next from beginning to end and I liked the handling here, how you managed to turn something so banal into something very realistic and yet very humorous. I was surprised to find myself partly in the story, probably not so much at the end, where I would have burst out in anger more than laughing.

In general, I notice that the short story stands out because it is very simply constructed - in a positive sense, of course. I like the lightness with which you open the story and how this carries through to the end. I especially like how the beginning is reminiscent in one scene, like a play, and then changes to where the reader is addressed.

That's something I noticed that was really only readable at the beginning. On the one hand, it reminded me of a short sketch where I missed this punch line at the end, where instead of looking at the questions, for example, you could look in the direction of the "audience" / readers or ask another question there. I don't even know if I would consider that something extremely important, but just my impression.

I really liked the dynamic that was shown in the dialogues. You could literally feel how Libby was getting more and more desperate here, probably already very annoyed, while her mother remained quite calm. That's a very positive view I have, which also shows how patient she can be and how you brought that across in the story.

In summary, it's a very great story that I really enjoyed reading. Not only because I could find myself there, but also just that kink came that it led to a funny ending.

Have fun writing!

Mailice

I really liked this story. It was hilarious, and it reminded me of my eighth grade brother who hates math.

The first paragraph poses a question and help draw the reader in, making them want to read more. The second paragraph shows what kind of story this is going to be right away, giving this story a strong beginning.

"Mama rolled her eyes, "Drama queen." she muttered. "How many times do I have to tell you?""

Okay, other than the fact that you need a comma at the end of "queen" instead of a period, I really liked this. It stuck out to me as being quite funny.

""Augh, how am I supposed to know?" I muttered.
"MAMA!" I called out. "I NEED HELP AGAIN!""

Hilarious. I loved this punchline at the end of your story, it was super funny.

"Mama smiled and got up clean up the kitchen"

Just a small typo; you forgot to put the word "to" between "up" and "clean".

Other than that small typo and the small grammar error of putting periods at the end of your dialogue instead of commas, there wasn't anything wrong with this story.

This was a really well done, hilariously funny short story!

okay LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
I needed to write that because i'm currently in work and i cant laugh out loud. I absolutely love this, this is most definitely my cup of tea. It made me smile from reading the first few parts as it reminded me of my childhood. You are honestly a really good writer and I think you should do a part 2 to this. (yes i know that its a short story) BUT I WANT A PART TWO PLSSS

Hiii Liberty!! This was absolutely amazing. I rolled with laughter as I read. I am also in eighth standard, but I am a pretty good student in mathematics and science, so I don't come across such situations. The same story is with some of my friends. They never get it. It is the story of many students. And the fact that we can relate it to our lives makes it even more enjoyable. The story was short and simple. It's simplicity makes it fantastic. I really loved to read this. Thanks for writing this.