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A Painter & Writer's Magic [Chapter 12]

by Liberty


Last Line(s): Audrey stopped walking. As did Will. He painfully held the Devil up as Audrey stood in front of Akol and inspected him. When she saw how slumped he was and that his eyes were closed, she gasped, her hand over her chest.

“...I think he fainted!”

Chapter 12

It was a bit after two in the morning when Akol finally came to. Everything felt extremely light as he opened his eyes and turned his head to the left. His eyes met the wall and he knew he was in his room by its unique color. It had color, but no color at the same time.

As much as it hurt, he took a long breath in. “Ah…” and straightened himself up on the bed, laying his head against the headboard. “Askel?” he called, hoping that his brother, someone close to family, or anyone was near him. As soon as the name left his mouth, someone flashed by in front of him and stood right beside him.

“You’re awake!” Askel exclaimed. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he’d been drifting in and out of sleep for a long time. “You bloody idiot, you scared me half to death!”

Akol smirked. “Ha. Ha. Very funny.” Everyone knew Devils couldn’t be killed so easily. You would need a wooden spear and pierce their heart for them to be dead. And anyway, if Askel did die, that would be his first death, meaning he’d have two other deaths to go before he completely perished. It was a common joke among Devils.

Askel chuckled. “I see no damage has been done to the brain.”

“Yeah. I think. Where’s Audrey? And Will?” he added before Askel lectured him about thinking of the couple together and not separate.

“I told them to go to their room and get packed up and take a nap for a while before they have to leave…” Askel glanced up at the clock as he sat down beside his little brother on the bed. “...in three hours.”

Akol drooped like a wilting flower. “Do you think they’ll be able to handle the Angels?” he asked quietly after a long and tense pause.

“Do you want anything to eat?” Askel was changing the subject on purpose, and Akol hated him very much right then for that.

“Shut up. Answer me. I order you to,” he snapped.

Askel bowed his head, remembering his place as an ordinary Devil. He himself had told Akol to take him away from the royal position. Akol would have been better anyway. If Askel sobbed over a dying butterfly, imagine what he would’ve been doing now, as King, and Akol, as Prince.

“I don’t know. They seemed very tense when they were in here with you and we took shifts watching over you. Will, me, Audrey, then Zoya and Ujalaa again. And all of them all over again. I think they’ll take it seriously. Don’t worry,” he assured, giving him a half-hearted smile. “I’ll send some food for you,” he added before exiting the room.

Still in bed, Akol drooped more - if that was even possible. He prayed silently that the couple would stop the Angels. It was heart-breaking to know exactly what the galaxy would look like if they failed. The King of the Angels, Herschel, had shown him exactly what would happen in one of his dreams. Akol closed his eyes.

“It’s going to be fine.”

***

At exactly five-thirty in the morning that day, Zoya burst into the couples’ room, not bothering to knock. Audrey screamed as she jumped up in bed, waking up Will in the process.

“Zoya!” Audrey shrieked.

“Get up!” Zoya shrieked back.

“Has no one taught you manners?”

“In case you haven’t heard, we kids don’t have manners.” The teenager crossed her arms and scowled.

Will rolled his eyes. “Such an idiot.”

“Maybe you can parent me, then, if you think I’m such an idiot,” Zoya snapped.

Audrey flushed.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“It’s six o’clock and neither of you are awake!” she exclaimed, throwing up her hands. “I’m all ready.” She crossed her arms.

Audrey looked down at what Zoya was wearing. A long green flannel sweater over a gray shirt and black jeans to match. Her shoes looked like a mix of black Vans and Converse. She also had a big (heavy looking) denim backpack slung over her shoulder. She was definitely ready.

“Oh.” Will looked out the window. “Child, it’s still dark.” He threw his head back onto the pillow, groaning.

“Get up and I’ll stop,” Zoya said. Audrey sighed and crawled out of the bed. “Both of you,” she added, glaring at Will.

“Okay, mom.” Will made a face at her.

“You’re both acting like kids.” Audrey rolled her eyes.

Zoya completely ignored her. “Be down in twenty minutes flat,” she ordered.

***

“You’re late!” Zoya yelled from the front door when Will and Audrey came trotting down the stairs.

The couple looked at each other, confused. Audrey had checked the time on her phone - which was somehow still at a hundred percent. It was exactly five fifty-eight when they left their room. She pulled out her phone and checked again. She sighed, exasperated. “It’s six oh one.”

“Still late!” Zoya exclaimed, crossing her arms.

“She’s so moody,” Will whispered.

“I have a feeling that if she heard that she would have your guts cut out,” Audrey whispered back, adjusting their backpack behind her. They had put all the necessary things they would need in it - Audrey’s canvas (with the paintbrushes and paint) and Will’s notebook. Whatever else they would need in the future could easily be made with magic.

The couple continued down the stairs - there were a lot - and soon enough, they were standing in front of Zoya.

“Aren’t we going to say goodbye to anyone?” Audrey asked.

“No,” Zoya said, turning on her heel and reaching for the huge doorknob. She opened the door and stepped to the side to let them get out first.

“Why?” Will asked as he and Audrey walked out, followed by Zoya.

“That’s not what we do here.” Zoya stepped in front of the couple and started leading them into the forest again. “And no, you can’t see King Akolxohez either.”

Audrey and Will stayed silent and watched as the sun - Sweztyn - started rising. The moons started fading away and the twinkle that came from the three lone stars hid behind the light of dawn. The looming trees of the forest still looked as frightening as ever, sending chills down their spines. The three of them continued walking towards the forests led by Zoya, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Will had his shoulders slumped. Honestly, he’d thought they’d get a farewell party, or a feast, or even a goodbye from the guy who had pretty much given them no plan and only orders. Does anyone even do that? Not at all. Earlier, because of the thought of a party or a feast, he put on slightly fancier clothing - khakis paired with a white t-shirt and a gray-black hoodie over. To top (or bottom) it all off, he had on the best sneakers he could find in the walk-in closet.

Not Audrey, though. She wore her simple clothes she wore all the time. A camouflage long sleeve shirt that reached her mid-thigh. It hugged her skin around her waist and went down to her thighs in a bit of a flare, giving it a dressy look. But it wasn’t dressy to her. It was her normal type of clothing. Underneath that, she had black jeans, only ripped up a bit at the hem. And she had brown hiking boots. Audrey’s thought process was much different than Will’s. She was fine with not having a party or a fancy feast. She didn’t care much.

Rustle.

Everyone froze, and their heads snapped in the direction of the sound - a bush. Of course it was a bush. What else could it be?

“What was that?” Audrey asked.

Will shushed her. Audrey furrowed her brows at him and elbowed his He puffed out his cheeks in pain, and recoiled. “Thanks,” he breathed.

“Will you two be quiet?” Zoya asked. It was more like an order. “I’m trying to identify the noise.”

A silence fell over the three of them and they all stayed still, breathing extra quietly, making sure not to spook whatever was behind the bush - or in it.

“It’s an Angel,” Zoya said, her heart dropping. Even her voice became high-pitched out of fear. “Eemoc tuo,” she said shakily.

The supposed Angel appeared from behind a tree - not the bush. She was the same one. The one they had seen before. Was her name Obraya? When Will mouthed her name, it felt right and he knew it was her. This time, for some weird reason, he didn’t feel light in the head and weak in the knees.

“What are you doing here?” Zoya asked, trying to butter her voice with strictness. “King Akolxohez told you to stay away.” Zoya took out her wand and pointed it directly at the Angel.

“Good morning to you too, darling,” Obraya said. Her voice was soft. It was like honey dripping from a honeycomb. Will almost melted right then.

“What do you want?” Zoya asked.

Obraya’s mellow gaze flitted towards the couple. Audrey took a sharp intake of breath and held onto her husband’s elbow.

“Look. Away,” Zoya growled. “Now.

The Angel smiled sweetly at the teenager. Zoya faltered and her hand - the one with the wand in it - shook. Slightly. Barely visible. But Obraya saw it and frowned.

Everyone felt ten times better than they had two seconds ago.

“Fine.” Obraya floated - she didn’t actually float, she was walking, but it looked as if she was floating - towards the three of them. “But hear me out first.”

That caught the travelers' attention.


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Sun Jun 28, 2020 7:13 pm
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HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And that's three fourths of the way. Its well past midnight but I think I might just stay up long enough to finish this one off before sleeping.

First Impression: Okay more interesting developments. Running into the angel of all things.

Getting right to it,

“You’re awake!” Askel exclaimed. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he’d been drifting in and out of sleep for a long time. “You bloody idiot, you scared me half to death!”


Wait then why was his eyes bloodshot?

Also are we not going to get an explanation as to why Akol collapsed?

“Zoya!” Audrey shrieked.

“Get up!” Zoya shrieked back.

“Has no one taught you manners?”

“In case you haven’t heard, we kids don’t have manners.” The teenager crossed her arms and scowled.

Will rolled his eyes. “Such an idiot.”

“Maybe you can parent me, then, if you think I’m such an idiot,” Zoya snapped.

Audrey flushed.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“It’s six o’clock and neither of you are awake!” she exclaimed, throwing up her hands. “I’m all ready.” She crossed her arms.


This whole part is just so amazing. I have a feeling there will be some adoptions in the future. They just seem so much like a family.

“That’s not what we do here.” Zoya stepped in front of the couple and started leading them into the forest again. “And no, you can’t see King Akolxohez either.”


Are we going to get any explanations for that?

Will had his shoulders slumped. Honestly, he’d thought they’d get a farewell party, or a feast, or even a goodbye from the guy who had pretty much given them no plan and only orders. Does anyone even do that? Not at all. Earlier, because of the thought of a party or a feast, he put on slightly fancier clothing - khakis paired with a white t-shirt and a gray-black hoodie over. To top (or bottom) it all off, he had on the best sneakers he could find in the walk-in closet.

Not Audrey, though. She wore her simple clothes she wore all the time. A camouflage long sleeve shirt that reached her mid-thigh. It hugged her skin around her waist and went down to her thighs in a bit of a flare, giving it a dressy look. But it wasn’t dressy to her. It was her normal type of clothing. Underneath that, she had black jeans, only ripped up a bit at the hem. And she had brown hiking boots. Audrey’s thought process was much different than Will’s. She was fine with not having a party or a fancy feast. She didn’t care much.


This whole clothing comparison bit is brilliant. It does a great job of adding more to their personalities.

“Good morning to you too, darling,” Obraya said. Her voice was soft. It was like honey dripping from a honeycomb. Will almost melted right then.


Oh dear trouble has found our protagonists.

“Fine.” Obraya floated - she didn’t actually float, she was walking, but it looked as if she was floating - towards the three of them. “But hear me out first.”

That caught the travelers' attention.


Oooh I sense trickery on one of the two sides. Well this continues to get even more interesting.

Overall: Barring the Askel, Akol relationship, which got a lot better this chapter, the others are all shown damn near perfectly. The pacing in this bit is much better and fits the story a lot better. And the overall plot seems solid so far.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




Liberty says...


xD You have no idea what's coming and thank youuuu!! <3



HarryHardy says...


Your Welcome!!!



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Mon Jun 15, 2020 5:45 pm
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Gravitem wrote a review...



Hey Liby! I'm sorry I didn't review more than two works while you were gone. I didn't want to pile it up.

Let's get straight to the review.

The plot's going great, and this chapter shows Aud, Will and Zoya prepare for their journey; and also, the beginning of their journey.

Before I talk about some typos and some minor errors in grammar, I'd like to acknowledge the rich description in this paragraph:

Audrey and Will stayed silent and watched as the sun - Sweztyn - started rising. The moons started fading away and the twinkle that came from the three lone stars hid behind the light of dawn. The looming trees of the forest still looked as frightening as ever, sending chills down their spines. The three of them continued walking towards the forests led by Zoya, each of them lost in their own thoughts.


This added a very pleasant charm to the beginning of a long journey, and it makes me look forward to the rest of the certainly perilous road.

Now, to the small errors;

“Ha. Ha. Very funny."

The pause here doesn't sound very smooth, and I'd suggest replacing the full stops in between, with commas.

“Yeah. I think. Where’s Audrey? And Will?”

The full stop after "yeah" doesn't sound quite right. A comma would work better. Just read it to yourself. Is there really that long a pause before the "I think"? Also, it would be wrong to use a question mark after both "Where's Audrey" and "And Will". If this was meant to be a pause between the two statements, you could use either a comma; or - this isn't that great an idea, but - here's something I'd do.

You could write, "Yeah, I think. Where's Audrey... And Will?" I'm not sure about this one so I'd suggest just using a comma.

elbowed his He puffed out

This is probably something you missed while typing, but I'm not very sure what exactly is happening here. Just edit that when you can.

“Look. Away,”

I'm not sure why the full stop is needed here.

That's all for today. I wait to read the next chapter!

KEEP WRITING!!!!

Yours sincerely,
Myth <3




Liberty says...


Thanks for the review!!



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Sun May 31, 2020 1:37 am
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EternalRain wrote a review...



Heyo, Lib! Happy Review Day!

YAYYY! I am so glad Obraya is back. Of course, I'm not sure how I feel about her (morally) yet, but I love her as a character from the bits and glimpses we've seen in the past. Her oozing charm and charisma is super neat-o. Like Mage, I'm curious if she's going to join the group (perhaps she'll help in exchange for something?).

Audrey and Will stayed silent and watched as the sun - Sweztyn - started rising. The moons started fading away and the twinkle that came from the three lone stars hid behind the light of dawn. The looming trees of the forest still looked as frightening as ever, sending chills down their spines. The three of them continued walking towards the forests led by Zoya, each of them lost in their own thoughts.


This was my favorite paragraph in the whole chapter! The description here was really lovely and gave me a bit of a better picture of what's happening. I still feel a little lost in the dark, though - are they walking through a forest, or is there a traveling path through the forest? I'm still having a bit of trouble visualizing the castle - is the castle the only thing for miles, or is there a little village too? That kind of thing. BUT, this description above was so beautiful, and gives off both ~ominous~ and ~peaceful~ vibes at the same time.

One little thing - I get that Audrey and Will can essentially create whatever they want, but wouldn't it be good to bring some food/flint+steel/other basic survival things *just in case*? They've only just started their magic, after all!!! :D

I have a feeling the next chapter will be very eventful! Or, at least, super-epic-awesome because Miss Obraya-who-can-make-Will's-knees-wobble is in it and she is AWESOME.

Alrighty- on to the next!
Peace,
~EternalRain




Liberty says...


Thanks for the review! ;w;



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Tue May 19, 2020 1:51 pm
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Magebird says...



If this story doesn't end with Will and Audrey adopting Ujalaa and Zoya, I'll be seriously disappointed. :P It was absolutely adorable seeing them deal with Zoya trying to wake them up early; she's acting like a kid on Christmas.

I also hope that Akol gets to see the group before they go off - even if it's awkward with him having feelings for Audrey, I feel like it wouldn't be right for him to send them on their way without saying goodbye or good luck.

And I hope Obraya isn't up to anything horrible! I know she's already made a bad impression and the angels are the villains in this, but it would be awesome if she joins their group. :)




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Fri May 01, 2020 6:41 am
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LadyBug wrote a review...



Hi Liberty! It’s Jade and I’m so excited to review the last piece you have written to date. If you can’t tell, I’m getting insanely bored to be frank. Remember when you used to do colorful reviews? I don’t think BBCcode counts, but if you want my points, I’ll give them. I don’t do this for points anyway.






“Yeah. I think. Where’s Audrey? And Will?” he added before Askel lectured him about thinking of the couple together and not separate.

I think you mean, thinking of them seperate, not together. That would make more sense


Askel bowed his head, remembering his place as an ordinary Devil. He himself had told Akol to take him away from the royal position. Akol would have been better anyway. If Askel sobbed over a dying butterfly, imagine what he would’ve been doing now, as King, and Akol, as Prince.

You’ve heard of Hansel and Gretal, but have you heard Askel and Gretal.
Is that even considered a pun?

So far, the flow has been pretty good, nothing I’ve had to re-read, and the characters are acting more naturally than before, this is starting to flow


“It’s going to be fine.”

That’s the first sign it won’t be

“In case you haven’t heard, we kids don’t have manners.” The teenager crossed her arms and scowled.[b]

Someone as well-spoken as her would say “children,” instead of kids. But you know her best, and once again, I am not co-writing your novel, nor trying to. Also what sixteen year old would refer to themself as a kid? I know 13 year olds who refuse to label themself as kid

[b]Will rolled his eyes. “Such an idiot.”


That is mean, WIll. Really kinda brutal to call an excited kid.


The couple looked at each other, confused. Audrey had checked the time on her phone - which was somehow still at a hundred percent. It was exactly five fifty-eight when they left their room. She pulled out her phone and checked again. She sighed, exasperated. “It’s six oh one.”

But, she said twenty minutes… not two?

“She’s so moody,” Will whispered.

He is an adult, I think he can fake a smile and put up with it. He is acting like a petulant jerk.

Not Audrey, though. She wore her simple clothes she wore all the time. A camouflage long sleeve shirt that reached her mid-thigh. It hugged her skin around her waist and went down to her thighs in a bit of a flare, giving it a dressy look. But it wasn’t dressy to her. It was her normal type of clothing. Underneath that, she had black jeans, only ripped up a bit at the hem. And she had brown hiking boots. Audrey’s thought process was much different than Will’s. She was fine with not having a party or a fancy feast. She didn’t care much.
That’s a bit long for one paragraph, Libs, but I won’t go on about that

Rustle.

Lol, I keep thinking it’s someone saying rustle. Maybe say, they heard an ominous rustling or something, because this does not read as a screenplay!

“It’s an Angel,” Zoya said, her heart dropping. Even her voice became high-pitched out of fear. “Eemoc tuo,” she said shakily.

Maybe have one of them inquire about the language, it looks like Latin, but what do I know.

That caught the travelers' attention.

WHY MUST YOU END IT ON THIS?

OVERALL:

Well, that was pretty well done. I said my opinions and I really think I have gone through everything so far. This is great and I’m kinda sad my “reviewing spree” is over! That’s all from me and I’ll see you when the next chapter is out :)

Jade




Liberty says...


Thanks for the super colorful review!! xD



LadyBug says...


oh goodness (don't mind me just looking at the time i wrote this XD)



Liberty says...


xDDD



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Sun Apr 26, 2020 8:04 am
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Hkumar wrote a review...



Hi Liberty!

This chapter finally marks the beginning of the couple's journey to defeat the angels. I will be missing Akol during this time since I guess he won't be appearing in following chapters till Aud and Will finish their mission.

And anyway, if Askel did die, that would be his first death, meaning he’d have two other deaths to go before he completely perished.

I think you meant Akol here instead of Askel.
“In case you haven’t heard, we kids don’t have manners.” The teenager crossed her arms and scowled.
Will rolled his eyes. “Such an idiot.”
“Maybe you can parent me, then, if you think I’m such an idiot,” Zoya snapped.

These comebacks by Zoya are epic. She is a unique character. The was she was becoming all bossy in front of Aud and Will was really a fun to watch. I think she is the most responsible careful one amongst the trio.
It's good that you decided to send the them without any goodbyes and unnecessary stuffs and directly went on to make them move ahead on their mission, it saved time and unwanted details.
As mentioned in the earlier chapter Obraya had a life left after she was killed once by Akol and here she's back. I found Zoya really brave to point her wand in front of the angel, she's got some guts.
But I am bit confused with the last part. What happened after she shook her wand? Did she cast some protective spell. I mean what made everyone feel ten times better.
The way Obraya was walking towards them and asked to hear her out first, I guess she's gonna threaten them with her words. Let's see what actually happens.

You are doing great with your chapters.
Keep writing :)

- Proud Heir of Slytherin




Liberty says...


I think you meant Akol here instead of Askel.

I actually did mean Askel!

But I am bit confused with the last part. What happened after she shook her wand? Did she cast some protective spell. I mean what made everyone feel ten times better.

When Angels smile, its the beginning of passing out or dying for Humans/the kids/Wizards. Obraya smiled, making Zoya shake and the couple feeling light. And when Obraya stopped smiling, they felt better. I hope that makes sense! If not, I made a thread in the Writer's Corner for this novel. Link is here. :)

Thanks for the review! <3



Hkumar says...


Oh now I understood it and thanks for the link. :)



Liberty says...


Not a problem!



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Wed Apr 22, 2020 2:38 pm
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Horisun wrote a review...



When your reading this instead of doing online schoolwork...
Which, I'm totally not guilty of, totally.

This chapter was a good bridge into the beginning of the adventure. I'm sad that Akol isn't coming with them... I like the conflict he brings in the fact that he likes Audrey, but he can't admit it. I think that's very interesting.
Alas, he remains in the castle, which I'm guessing he will remain to carry out his own adventure? Perhaps give us deeper insight to the Ditch? Provide us with more backstory? There is a lot of potential there, and I can't wait to see what you do!

Anyway, keep on writing, and have a great day!




Liberty says...


Thanks for the review!




Uh, Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rainforest scare a few years back: our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?
— Homer Simpson