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Young Writers Society


12+ Mature Content

Diary Entry

by JoyDark


I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

The fire in your eyes was so deep;

Why would anyone want to put it out?

I didn't mean to do anything

I just didn't know what to say.

I didn't know how to reach inside your chest

And pull out the turmoil that was blocking your heart

But no one else was there.

The phone was in my hand but you said

If I called anyone it would be all over.

Just like that.

So I slid it to the side of the clean kitchen counter

And I opened my mouth

And I tried to say the right things

And I tried to pull the perfect words out of my brain

And put them into yours

And seal the hatch with a lock and key.

I just didn't know what to say.

I should have called my father;

He always has the right thing to say

On the tip of his tongue;

I never inherited his gifts

Or anyone's, really.

But I tried because I was the only one there

That day when you dyed the kitchen counter tops red

And I just stood there, pressing a towel against your neck

And your tears mixed with mine

And the embers in your eyes stopped burning;

I tried to stop you

I tried, I really did

Some people believed me, some didn't

I just didn't know what to say

Or how to say it.

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34 Reviews

Points: 211
Reviews: 34

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Wed Apr 22, 2020 9:44 pm
shayspeare wrote a review...



Wow. This poem was amazing. As a narrative poem, it's long, full of imagery. The tone, was just -- wow. It consumed all of my emotions and left me sad. It was just so intense and full of melancholy, and regret.

I didn't mind that there wasn't any rhyme scheme. But the Shakespearean technique of making a point with repetitive first words in lines did really add to the emotional connection between the speaker and their story.

It's just sad. Usually, I see more glamorized, romanticized versions of poems dealing with death. But this -- this was real. This was human. This just felt like the perfect poem to actually deal with grief and regret.




JoyDark says...


Thank you. Truly. I've never been in a situation like that, but I tried to imagine what it would be like. And then I wrote it out.



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84 Reviews

Points: 5221
Reviews: 84

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Wed Apr 22, 2020 2:39 am
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Icon wrote a review...



Nice poem! While I'm impressed, I feel as though the imagery could have been more specific. To me, a poet is someone who knows how to paint a picture with words, and the picture I got was a little vague. If you wanted to leave it up for interpretation, that's really cool! But of it wasn't intentional, just something to think about when you write. All in all great work!




JoyDark says...


Hey! I completely get what you're saying. I think a poet means different things to different people. For example, a poet to me can invoke emotions with words, make me feel something. Which is why I try and write my poems that way. I was trying to imply a lot of things rather than focus on imagery. But thanks for your suggestion!



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33 Reviews

Points: 164
Reviews: 33

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Tue Apr 21, 2020 9:24 pm
DeliriumNervosa wrote a review...



Hi Lia5Giba,

I just stopped by to leave a review for your work.
I really enjoyed reading this and feel your message was conveyed well. I write in a similar style that is neither poetry nor story and I love that someone else writes in a similar way.
I just wonder if maybe you put something a little more descriptive in your description, to encourage others to click on your piece and read it?

Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.

-Delirium Nervosa




JoyDark says...


Thank you so much! :D




That smells like the inside of a tropical rainforest.
— Yoshikrab's friend