Prologue
Mount Olympus, 1744, the night of the New Moon, 1:42am
It was a windy and stormy night in Mount Olympus. The stars shined so brightly that they illuminated the small homes scattered around the Towne Square. The palace, though, was lit by the torches of each individual guard that stayed posted at each and every entrance. Townspeople gathered in the rain, covered by nothing but wet rags and straw baskets. Most women lifted the baskets above their heads, guarding their themselves and their children from contracting the flu. It was rather cold in Olympus that time of year.
There was an event happening, an upbringing. The townspeople were focused on one particular room in the palace; a goddess was welcoming a new god into the world; she was creating an offspring. Her one and only child. He was to be upmost divine, a mixture of night and sea.
“He’s almost done,” Hecate breathed into the cauldron of mist in front of her, “He’s coming.”
The world slowed, and the Goddess's eyes abruptly darted to Poseidon, who was impatiently standing in the corner of the room. His dark hair and gray eyes were drilling into her soul, causing her to click her tongue, “Impatient mouths do not get fed, my lord. He will be extraordinary, I promise you.”
“He better be, for not only your sake but for Olympus’ as well,” Poseidon responded, stepping forward slowly towards the Goddess of Necromancy and Witchcraft. Her white iris’ returned to the cauldron, ignoring the loud clicking boots of the Sea God.
The magic burst into a cloud of turquoise smoke, and light blinded the two deities. They stumbled backwards. Their hearing restored to the sound of a crying baby. Hecate’s mouth curled into a grin, and she rushed to the infant, who was laid out on the floor in the middle of the cloudy room. She took the baby boy in her arms and hummed, “Jase, the Lord is salvation. Our savior has arrived.”
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
This is amazing! I love the introduction with the setting of the night sky with the storm. It immediately made me think of the title. It shows the combination between Hecate's calmness and Poseidon's fierceness. Which I believe is somewhat what your character Jase may become. (Just a guess)
What has me really curious is why Poseidon is so cold to Hecate. It seems that they are creating Jase for an important reason, calling Jase their "Savior." Which I find quite ironic coming from God's themselves. Your character Jase has a lot of potential.
I am really excited to see where this story goes. Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day.
Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day <3
This was a wicked good read! I can't wait to hear more! This tension was awesome I appreciate and love how it built up. I love how we can already see the gods personalities and the intro was so cool and created a very nice clear image of this incredibly important night. Also are the stars shining brightly and it being a stormy night references to Jase's parents? The only thing I'd personally like to see more of are the townspeople and why this is important to them on a deeper level like cupid said. Anyways loved this can't wait to see more!
I hope you have an incredible night, out in a field where the air is that just right temperature and the grass has a gentle dew as you look up at a perfect constellation!
xoxo- GrHinds
Thank you!
Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
Good morning, Leya! Today, I'm immersing myself in the prologue of your tale. Cupid here, ready to soar into the realm of Olympus. (And just so you know, I'm still sipping on inspiration from the Boba Method—thanks to herbalhour for the stellar recommendation!)
⚫ The Boba Pearls: First Impression:
Hey there in the midst of Mount Olympus! Your prologue stormed in with a grand entrance—literally, the winds howling and stars shining brightly. I was instantly drawn into the scene of that stormy night, the torch-lit palace, and the rain-soaked townspeople. The contrast between the turmoil outside and the illuminated Towne Square created a spellbinding atmosphere.
🍵 The Tea Base: Room for Enhancement!
I could feel the tension in the air as Hecate proclaimed, "He's coming." But, oh, the anticipation! I feel like you could've Dove deeper into the emotional current running through the townspeople. What's the significance of this divine birth to them? How are they perceiving this extraordinary event in the heart of Olympus? Unveil those layers to intensify the reader's connection.
These are just suggestions based on my preference, and the beauty of writing often lies in personal expression. Feel free to embrace or disregard them based on your artistic vision!
🥛 The Milk: Highlights of the Passage
Your narrative prowess shines through! The interaction between Hecate and Poseidon is captivating. His impatience, her confidence—it's a dance of powerful deities. Still, there's room to explore their history and the weight of this moment on their relationship. Let the readers feel the undertones of their dynamic.
The magical burst into turquoise smoke and the cry of the baby—wow! The transition is breathtaking. You've painted a vivid picture, and I can almost sense the energy in the room. Make us feel the magic coursing through the scene even more.
🍬 The Sweetener: Favorite Lines!
This exchange between Poseidon and Hecate is a gem. The tension and the stakes—captivating! It leaves the reader craving more insights into their complex relationship.
Hecate's words as she cradles the baby add a layer of significance. It hints at a larger narrative and sparks intrigue. Build on this, let us glimpse into the destiny awaiting young Jase.
🧋 Completed Drink: Closing Thoughts
Your prologue is like a symphony in the storm! The divine birth, the clash of deities, and the magical ambiance are mesmerizing. Keep weaving this enchanting tale—I'm genuinely excited to unravel the mysteries ahead. Can't wait to read more of your writings!! 💫
Fly high writer, Cupid 💘
Thank you so much! I was really struggling to write this prologue, it was hard for me to capture just how emotionally/historically important Jase's birth is, so I'll have to go back and edit based on your recs. I'm glad you enjoyed it <3