Young Writers Society

I like it, I kind of wish you had done the more up and down writing, just for show. but I loved it, it's a little dark, yet oh so true

I like the whole concept of the piece, but I feel as if you could do so much more with the. The entire flow of the piece, I feel, was somewhat jagged. Like it is just short line after short line. I would suggest you try and mix it up, like have a long line here and then a short line there. If you wanted to add a little mystery to the piece, you tell the reader that it is a mirror at the very end of the piece. Then it would give you the opportunity to put in the readers mind the similarities between a bully and a mirror. That is what I would do at least.

Hi, Maheen here for a review..
So, we have quite an interesting concept here. A lot can be written related to it with a lot of different perspectives. With that in mind let's move forward and consider what you decided on going with.

Well, you decided to consider both, good and bad sides of the mirror, and how it shows us our real faces. This is pretty good approach to the topic and you started off well too. However, in such a little word count, you merged a lot of concepts and viewed the topic from several different angles.

I think, the reader's interest might arise more in your work, when you make it eye-catching and more interesting. Try elaborating a bit on your views here. You don't have to spoon-feed the reader to explain him everything, that he himself can imagine, you can be a little mysterious that is. However, make sure you make yourself clear on whatever angles you touch here.

For example, you have discussed three prominent concerns here :

1) How the mirror shows us our reality.

2) It will be incessant in pointing out the flaws.

3) How this can turn out to be not-so-good for you.


So, what I meant to say by telling you to elaborate is not to drag the passage unnecessarily, but to discuss more on the three key points you touched. Because I personally didn't get a clear picture of what you meant by the ending statement, I mean I have certain bewilderments regarding it. Hanging sentences are good sometimes, except when they tend to take away the flavour of the story.

Apart from this, keep trying to excel in activities you truly love. Hope this helped. Keep it up!

Hi!
Welcome to YWS ^_^

This was very interesting! When I first saw the title, I thought it was going to be those unoriginal, boring poetry/lyrics of "Mirror mirror, on the wall," etc. but this was a nice surprise! It was a lot different that I expected and put a spin on things.

I think this could be extended a lot further. You could add more details, a character or two, and a plot. I would love to see a short story or even a novel come out of this. Right now, it just seems kind of mysterious and a little dull.

I like the idea of the luring the mirror does, and how dangerous it can be. That was a unique perspective of this idea.

Since it's so short, there's not much that can be improved. I would just like to see a longer, more full of detail one. Or, you don't even have to make a short story out of it, just smother it in details - like what flaws might you go to the mirror for? etc, etc.

Well done! And keep writing!

~ EternalRain

Hello! Ash here for a review!

Firstly - I love this! (Wish there was more to read. ) I didn't catch any grammar, spelling, or punctuation mistakes. (Unless of course I missed them). I think the last word careful could be turned into another word that's a bit more mysterious if you know what I mean. For example -

It can be deadly if you do not know what you are doing, so beware.

(Yeah That wasn't the best word..) Anyways, that's up to you! Hope to read more from you soon!