Published May 23, 2009
Flaws
Flaws are something that cannot be corrected, changed or fixed; they are a part of everyone and everything. Flaws that an individual can see in themselves is often unseen by others. On most occasions the flaws do not even exist they are merely a figment of the imagination something created to pick away at something that is too utterly close to perfection.
Trying to fix a personal flaw can soon become an addiction or obsession; the one minute detail controllable in a bizarre world of chaos spinning around in the universe. This flaw can become an anchor, an anchor for control, for something much more serious obsessions for total emotional dominance over even the sanest and down to earth persons mind. The power of perfection invades quickly giving a sense of security and control; really is that what it is thought to be?
The obsession has begun, once convinced that this flaw, this minor imperfection can be fixed the person affected so deeply by this flaw will stop at nothing until they have achieved full control, perfection.
Sadly full control is never going to be achieved their mental state us unstable because they have been left with only one goal. Trained and groomed into a drone of perpetual disappointment with an unachievable goal – perfection.
The problem is not many people realize that it is our many, seemingly endless flaws that make us human. That makes us real, beautiful and amazing.
Thus, it is our greatest flaws that elude the vast incoherence of the foolish idea called perfection.
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Hey there! You wrote a lovely piece, I found it very true and made me think about myself for a bit. Ironically, I'm going to point out 'flaws' in this piece. But they are minute, and will only serve to create a smoother flow within your piece. So here we go.
The subject here is "flaws", in the plural, so the verb 'is' should become 'are' so you have proper subject-verb agreement.
I do like this line. It rings true, if a bit awkwardly worded. I recommend looking over at Schemilix's suggestions.
I'm assuming 'us' is a typo, and you meant 'is'.
While I have an idea of what you mean here, I find that it is a little...confusing? It might just be me though. I know you are aiming for something that packs a punch here, but I get lost. You might want to consider rephrasing this.
Overall, you really only have to worry about the recurring run-on sentences. But Schemilix has already pointed out excellent ways to revise them. However, you should also think of your own way to rewrite them. I really mean it when I saw you have great writing style, so I'm sure you'll be able to find your own ways. Keep up the nice work
OK, I like your theme and how you're saying it, but in places, it could use a minor tweak.
Here:
Perhaps consider replacing it with:
Good concept, though.
Again your wording could be quite easily improved right here, right now it's a bit clumsy, but not terrible by any means:
Also, your first semi-colon was right, the second was wrong.
Yeah it does read like a rant a bit, I find.
Alrighty! And that's all I have to pick at. I like this because this is basically how I think written down. People need to understand that 'flaws' are subjective and that they are merely one more thing for a true friend to embrace and love! Well said.
Hey Leslie =]
Welcome to the wonderful world of YWS!
I'm Dudette
So. Wow - this is really deep and I totally agree with what you have written.
Sometimes I feel inadequate, like when it comes to my writing, but then I just think to myself that I'm being stupid.
Some people's lives are ruined by obsessing over flaws and I'm so happy that I'm able to steer clear from going in the same direction.
My thoughts; 'The whole world would be a dull place if we were all perfect.'
Uniqueness wins everytime in my eyes. I'm proud to be an individual =]
Sorry for going off on a tangent there, but I really like what you've written.
I think I shall give you a star =]
xDudettex