Stopped in Time Chapter 1

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"Don't you think its interesting?" Alyssa Austin asked her twin, feeling the bump of the school bus jolt her whenever they rolled over a rock. "I mean, how some people see things once, and they seem magical, but then they never see it again?"

"Uh, huh," Isabelle responded, only half listening. Alyssa was talking about their school lesson that day. They were both in the same 7th period, in 8th grade at Westwood Middle School in Gainesville, Florida.

The twins both had wavy, honey-blond hair, though Isabelle had hacked hers off just below her shoulders and streaked it with blue, while Alyssa kept her hair long and dye-less. They were nearly identical, with their green-flecked blue eyes, and bright red lips. But Isabelle had a spray of freckles across her nose, while Alyssa had none. Alyssa also didn't have the random braids through her hair like her sister always did.

"You know what I mean," Alyssa continued. "Like glowing, or things disappearing."

"Like UFO's?" Isabelle asked, breaking out of her daydream. "Those are cool. And sometimes people see them, but then they disappear."

"Exactly!" Alyssa was delighted her sister even had any idea what she was talking about. She usually just zoned out on the bus ride home, leaving Alyssa with no one to talk to. Alyssa didn’t really have any friends of her own, so she jumped at any chance to talk to her sister, who usually went off with her own friends.

"UFO's would be exciting to see," Alyssa was still talking. "But it would also be freaky. Like now you see them now you don't. Glowing would be much cooler to see in person." She continued on talking about what she would do if something glowed, and what that thing would be, but Isabelle had stopped listening.

Isabelle brought a book out of her backpack, and flipped it open to the bookmarked page.

Alyssa had quieted down, contenting herself by looking out the window, and watching the world zoom past. She smiled to herself, turning her head to look at her twin, who was completely focused on her book.

Then, an unmistakable bright blue glow cut into her vision. She frowned, thinking about the conversation she had been having with her sister before she zoned out, and homed in on the glow. It was coming from a page in Isabelle's book! She gasped.

Isabelle snapped her head up and stared at Alyssa's horrified expression. "What?!"

Alyssa looked back at the previously glowing page, but the blue light had vanished, though the page did seem a bit lighter than before.

She figured Isabelle wouldn't believe her if she told her that her book had been glowing, so she decided not to mention it. "Nothing."

"Lyss..." Isabelle was a little to good at know when she was lying.

"It was nothing," Alyssa assured her. "Really."

"Yeah," Isabelle didn't seem convinced, and Alyssa didn't blame her. She was pretty sure she had looked like she'd seen a ghost. Isabelle went back to her book anyway.

Alyssa took a deep breath. She was pretty sure her mind was alright. But then why had she seen Isabelle's book glowing? She could't think of any logical explanation as to what had happened.

The bus lurched sideways, and Isabelle's elbow jabbed her in the arm. Hard. That brought her into perspective.

Alyssa rubbed her arm, and looked over at her sister. She hadn't looked up from her book since she had dived back in.

Alyssa sighed, and mentally scolded herself for believing in such things. Objects didn't just glow like that because of nothing. And she was sure no light bulbs or wires were connected to Isabelle's book.

She debated the idea in her head, finally coming to the conclusion that she had just imagined the whole thing. Even so, she decided to take the book back to her room to study it when they got home.

But, twenty minutes later when the bus pulled into their stop, Alyssa nudged her sister, and she looked up, bookmarked her page, shoved the book into her backpack, and zipped it up. Isabelle slung her backpack over her shoulder, and followed Alyssa, walking through the center of the bus and jumping down the bus's steps, landing lightly on the sidewalk, while the bus driver scolded her for jumping down the steps.

Alyssa glanced behind at her sister, forming a plan in her head. She would wait until her sister left for gymnastics, then sneak in and take the book from her shelf. It was one of the number one rules of their family, not going into other people’s rooms without permission, and she would be punished severely if she was caught. This was why she couldn't be. She knew that she could just ask Isabelle for the book, but her sister would want to know why, and Alyssa was a terrible liar.

Isabelle caught her eye, and smiled, but Alyssa looked away. The guilt of what she was going to do was starting to eat into her, and Alyssa didn't want to give Isabelle any clues as to what she was planning. She would know in an instant, and then Alyssa would be in trouble.

The twins had a short walk home from the bus stop, but Alyssa filled it with thoughts of her little heist. Isabelle was quiet too, so she didn't feel bad not talking to her.

As soon as they got home, Alyssa shouted a hello to her mom and dad, and ran upstairs to her room. It was exactly how you'd think a thirteen-year-old girl's room would look like.

Posters of all the celebrities Alyssa thought were cool, and past artwork she'd made in and out of school, covered a sky blue painted wall. Her full-sized bed took up a third of her room, and was pushed up against the back left corner. A light green comforter was draped over the bed. On the other side of the room, her dresser and book shelf were both white, both overflowing with stuff, whether it be books or clothes. She had a small closet at the back of her room, but it was only really used for storing things.

Alyssa sat on her bed and thought about how she was going to spend the next few hours. It was only 3:30, meaning she had about two and a half hours left until Isabelle left for gymnastics at 5:45. She got out her homework, but was too distracted to focus on finding the circumference of circles.

She decided to take a nap, because she wanted to stay up late that night studying the book after Isabelle fell asleep. She set an alarm for six, just to make sure Isabelle was really gone, before she snuck into her room.

Alyssa snugged into her covers, welcoming the comforting feeling of being able to rest. She thought about the glowing page of Isabelle's book, and wondered if it was a sign from someone, or something, completely forgetting her decision that she had imagined the blue light. The more she thought about this, the more her brain told her to rest the fact, and relive it when she was completely awake. The calming purring noise of her fan gently caused her drowsiness to grow, and within minutes, she had fallen asleep…

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The slam of a door woke Alyssa up. She jolted awake, and frantically looked at her clock. It read 9:12. She had over slept! Her alarm hadn't gone off, and now Isabelle was home. She couldn't get the book.

Then she remembered something. Isabelle always stayed down for dinner before coming back up to her room. So she still had a few minutes to snatch the book.

Alyssa threw off the covers and crept out of her room. She heard Isabelle downstairs helping with dinner. She thought of going down there and living with no guilt of this because she'd never done it, but shook those thoughts away.

Alyssa tiptoed to her sister's bedroom, and slowly opened the door, flinching ever time it creaked, hearing the sound ten times louder then it actually was. When no one appeared behind her, she snuck into the room.

It was pretty much the same as hers, except twice as messy. She walked over to her bookshelf, and looked through the titles, searching for the one that Isabelle was reading on the bus. It was easy to spot. The book's silver cover gleamed in the darkness. She quickly snatched it up, and ran out of the room.

After depositing the book in her bedroom, she went down for dinner.

Isabelle and her mom and dad were seated at the table, serving themselves lasagna and breadsticks from a pan and bowl on the table and laughing. Alyssa walked into the room, and sat at a chair beside her dad.

"Hey Lyss!" Her dad smiled at her. "Where have you been?"

"Taking a nap," Alyssa answered truthfully. "Today was a long day."

Her dad nodded in understanding. Then, he took a bite of lasagna, slowly chewing in thought.

Alyssa served herself dinner, and was quiet throughout the entire meal. Her whole family was laughing and enjoying themselves, but Alyssa was too busy thinking about that stolen book on her dresser.

The instant she was finished, she excused herself, put her dishes in the dishwasher, and raced back upstairs. Her dad was calling after her, and she yelled down, "I forgot I had to do something important! I'll come down to say goodnight!" She heard her dad sigh.

Alyssa pulled the book off her dresser, and literally threw herself onto the bed. She stared at it, waiting for it to glow, but nothing happened. She started flipping threw the pages, searching for any evidence of a page glowing with bright blue light.

She heard banging up the stairs, and realized Isabelle was coming up them. Isabelle apparently went into her room because she heard a door shut, but came back out again. A knock sounded on her door. "Lyss, can I come in for a second?"

Alyssa quickly repositioned herself, making it look like she was reading the book instead of trying to figure out how it glowed. "Yeah, sure."

"Lyss?" Isabelle asked throwing open her bedroom door. "Have you seen-" She stopped. "How did you get that?"

Alyssa looked up from her book. "What, this?" She held the book up.

"Yeah!" Isabelle lunged towards her sister.

Alyssa sidestepped, and held the book over her head. Because she was taller than Isabelle by a couple of inches, she easily kept it out of her reach. "Why are you getting so upset? It's only a book."

Isabelle jumped up to grab the book, but Alyssa held it up as high as she could. She fell to the ground, giving her a glare. "Because I put it in my room when I came home from school. It was still there when I left for gymnastics, and when I came back, it wasn't!" Isabelle jumped again, not coming close to the book's silver cover, and flopped down on Alyssa's bed. "Then I come in here finding you reading it, so I ask you, how did you get it?"

There was a moments silence as Alyssa thought up a story to tell her sister instead of the truth.

"Well," Alyssa began, making up her explanation on the spot. "Once there was this certain book I wanted, and I couldn't find it anywhere in my room, so I decided to check your bookshelf because you always have the books that I want at that moment. And low and behold, I found it, and took it back to read in my room. The end." She folded her hands contently in her lap, smiling brightly at Isabelle.

"You went into my room?" Isabelle's voice was scary, one that was beyond furious, but not showing any emotion.

Alyssa winced, feeling the sharp pain of her words stabbing into her like knives.

"Without my permission?" Isabelle's voice was still deadly quiet, scaring Alyssa even more. She wished her sister would just yell at her or something. That would be a lot better than the way she was the talking now.

Alyssa smiled nervously at her sister. "Um, yeah?"

Isabelle stared at her sister not showing any emotion at all on her face. Then, her expression morphed into a hurt one. "You know you could have just asked me for the book right?"

"Well if you put it that way..." Alyssa trailed off, unsure of how to finish her sentence.

"But you went into my room without permission and took one of my books without asking me," Isabelle listed angrily. She glared at Alyssa, steam nearly coming out of her ears.

Alyssa stared at her sister, and mentally rolled her eyes. She really did get furious over nothing. Then again, she had broken one of their number one family rules.

As Alyssa was pondering this, she stared at the book in her hands, somehow blaming it for this whole mess. Then, for just a quick instant, a page in the book glowed blue! Again!

Isabelle didn't seem to notice the glow, and snatched the book out of Alyssa's hands, folded her arms, and sauntered out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Alyssa watched as the door slammed against its frame, causing her room to shudder. She sighed. Her sister always got mad over nothing. But she had to admit that Isabelle had a flair for dramatic exits.

Alyssa leaned against the wall, pulling the covers up around her. She yawned, but then she remembered the promise she'd made to her parents. She slowly got out of bed, and walked over to the door, quietly pulling it shut behind her. She hopped the stairs two at a time, and raced over to where her parents were sitting on the couch.

"Night!" Alyssa threw her arms around each parent in turn.

"Goodnight sweetheart," her mom said, smiling. "See you in the morning! Remember tomorrow is weekend and to turn off your alarm."

"I will," Alyssa promised, running back to the bottom of the stairs. "See you at 5 am!"

"Don't you dare!" Her dad called after her, as she rushed up the stairs. She could hear him laughing even as she entered her room.

Alyssa giggled to herself as she changed, and got ready for bed, pausing at the bathroom door as she saw Isabelle going into her room, carrying the silver-covered book.

For a second, it glowed blue again, but this time Alyssa was so used to it, the light didn't bother her anymore. She shut her bedroom door, turned off the light, and climbed into bed.

Because of her little nap right after school, it took her a while to fall asleep. She stared at her spinning fan overhead, thoughts wandering to the glowing book.

She had never seen the book before today, so where had Isabelle gotten it? Maybe from a friend at school? It wasn't new, Alyssa could tell that much. Maybe Isabelle had gotten it from the attic. It was full of trunks filled with old stuff. There was probably a whole chest full of old books.

But one question still lingered in her mind. Why had the book glowed? It looked and felt like magic, but as far as she knew, magic was only in fairy tales. Was it possible that magic really existed in her world?

With her mind overflowing with question after question, Alyssa grew more and more tired, until the comforting warmth of her blankets gently lulled her to sleep completely…

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Meanwhile, in the bedroom right next to Alyssa's, Isabelle was settling down too. She had placed the silver-covered book on her nightstand, after reading for a few minutes. Reading always calmed her down, and right now, she really needed to be calmed down.

Isabelle couldn't believe Alyssa had gone into her room without her permission. She was still very angry with her, but also a little hurt. Alyssa could have just asked her for the book. She would have been more than happy to oblige. It was a really good book.

Tomorrow, Isabelle thought. I'll forgive her tomorrow.

She heaved a great sigh, and drew the covers around her. She was about to close her eyes, when a bright blue light cascaded into her vision. She frowned and looked toward the direction of the light.

It was coming from the silver book that she had set on her nightstand. One of the pages was glowing a blinding blue. She gasped.

Maybe that was what Alyssa had seen on the bus when she looked like she'd seen a ghost. But just as quickly as the blue light had come, it vanished, leaving Isabelle's vision slightly tinted blue for a few moments.

Isabelle shook her head, certain she'd imagined the glow. But how could something she'd imagined be so real?

With her brain overloading with questions, Isabelle drifted off to sleep. Still only half-asleep though, she realized that if Alyssa had seen the glow too, then that was why she snuck into her room to get the book. She'd have wanted to study it, knowing her sister. She decided to forgive her right then and there, but she would have to wait to tell Alyssa tomorrow. Because it was weekend.

Ah, weekend. Now, Isabelle thought of a cool and calming weekend with no school, and she drifted off completely…

Comments & reviews · 2
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Mea
Review
Mea wrote a review · Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:51 am

Hey there, Leah! I'm Mea and I thought I'd drop by for a quick review today on this interesting first chapter!

I personally thought that the way literally right after Alyssa was thinking about how she'd love to see something glowing, it immediately happened, was kind of a big coincidence. It made me raise an eyebrow a bit, and wonder if maybe she's somehow causing it to happen, because otherwise it seems unlikely she'd think about it and then it'd happen just like that. I'm definitely curious to find out what it is, though.

I like how you show Alyssa and Isabelle's interactions both when Isabelle is angry and when they're just having a normal conversation. I also really liked the little interactions with their parents - it really helped me to feel like these are real twins living in a home with real parents and that they all have their own relationships with each other.

I think one thing you could do to improve this would be to simply trim unnecessary parts. For example, a lot of what you have after Alyssa decides to sneak into Isabelle's room but before she wakes up having overslept, could honestly be cut or at least shortened. We know she goes up to her room to wait, so we can see what her room looks like (which is good information to know about her personality) and then just cut straight to her waking up. We know she was waiting, and that's all that really matters.

It was exactly how you'd think a thirteen-year-old girl's room would look like.

This line felt really out of place to me, because it's spoken in the voice of you, the author, rather than Alyssa herself (and she's the one currently narrating the story, so we should be hearing it in her voice). Basically, I don't think very many 13-year-old girls would describe their own bedroom that way. It's their own very personal bedroom - they'd be more likely to immediately mention what's most important to them about it, whether that's the posters or the bedspread or the color of the walls. Not many people would describe their bedroom this way unless they're being sarcastic just because nobody considers themselves a stereotype - they consider themselves normal. Overall, I just don't think that line fits with Alyssa's character here.

I think that's about all I've got for you! I definitely think this is an interesting start to the story, and I like how you already have a mystery in play! I hope my review helped - good luck, and keep writing!

Hiya, I'm Jess. I thought this story was cool, very intriguing. I did have a couple of little things I saw, I'll just pop them out real quick.

''They were both in the same 7th period, in 8th grade at Westwood Middle School in Gainesville, Florida.''

This sentence seems like a little bit of a run on. You put four different things into a sentence and made a metaphorical squished sandwich. Maybe separate the "7th period and 8th grade" part in one sentence, and the rest of the information into another?

"But it would also be freaky. Like now you see them now you don't."

My only thing on this is I believe there should be a comma in between them and now.

" It was one of the number one rules of their family, not going into other people’s rooms without permission, and she would be punished severely if she was caught. "

This sentence can come off as a little confusing, the way the words are ordered. Maybe saying, " One of the number one rules of their family is not going into other's rooms without permission, and she would be punished severely if she was caught."
If not that's fine too.

I hope this helps, and best of luck. I can't wait to read chapter 2!

Hi Jess! Thanks for your comments and corrections! I never really noticed those before. I%u2019ll be sure to check them out. I%u2019m going to publish chapter 2 as soon as I can! Thanks again!



Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
— Charles Mingus