We finally arrived at a rundown roller-skating rink, which left me questioning why Nuravo, who I thought was rich, would bring us here. I had expected VIP seats at a soccer or football game instead of this. As I glanced at Nuravo, he stared at the building in awe, while Triansle and Benny looked just as confused as I. The silence was heavy, and Nuravo didn’t offer any explanation for our unusual destination. I hoped the inside was more luxurious because I had no desire to step foot in a place like that.
Nuravo finally turned around to look at us, but when he saw our expressions, he frowned. “What is wrong? You don’t like it?”
“Listen, Nuravo, I speak for us all when I say: I have never seen such a messed-up building in my life. But I speak for myself when I say: I think you’re spending your money on literal trash. Is this a prank?” Triansle said, looking around the car and outside the windows.
Bens chuckled and then said, “Of course this is a prank! Nuravo would never buy something like this because he is rich, like us. Right, Fen?”
“Actually, I’m not rich, and maybe he brought us here on purpose,” I said, looking up from my phone. Triansle and Benny stared at me, then looked at each other, as if someone had told them they were being followed by a group of Mafia bosses from every part of the world. Triansle stood up and walked over to me with a concerned look, then sat next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder with a sad smile. Nuravo just stared at him with a face that read, “What’s going on, and what is wrong with this place? Can we slow down, please?”
“Why didn’t you tell us you were poor? We would have given you some money. Did you only come because you were hungry and were hoping we would take you to get food? I hope not, because that is called using people. Speaking of using people, did you only date Nuravo because he was rich and could provide for you?” Triansle said, digging into his pocket, pulling out one hundred dollars, and placing it in my hand.
I stared at the money, then gave him a cold stare. Did he say I was POOR? Wow, he has the nerve.
“First of all, take your stupid money! I do not need charity from some rich snob!” I thrusted the crumpled bills back toward him, the sharp edge of my voice slicing through the air. “And I’m not poor! Average, just like anyone else!” My words spilled out, fiery and relentless.
“What’s wrong with being poor anyway?” I gestured wildly, hands trembling. “I never dated Nuravo for money! He never spent a dime on me! If we went out, I was the one footing the bill, while he just sat there, waiting for his food!”
Each accusation twisted the knot in my stomach tighter. “I was the one paying, the one in charge—he was like a lady who couldn’t even reach for her wallet! His cash? Only on himself.”
After a shaky breath, I shot up from the seat of the car, the door creaking in protest as I swung it open. It slammed behind me with a sharp thud. The sound echoed through the parking lot, but all I could hear was the racing pulse in my ears.
“Fenera!” Triansle's voice reached me, but I didn’t turn. Instead, my gaze fell on a scrap of paper plastered to the wall. The faded ink read, “Deep down, I know you won’t listen, so here’s something you might need: The day Layyinah started to have nightmares. 93271.”
With a practiced motion, I tucked the note into my pocket, feeling its weight against my thigh. A quick glance over my shoulder confirmed they were close—Nuravo and his friends, their eyes wide and searching.
Nuravo stepped forward, arms outstretched. I hesitated, then allowed myself to be enveloped in his embrace, his warmth momentarily flooding the chill of my anger. Nuravo pulled back, searching my face, but all I could muster was a tight-lipped frown.
“Sorry about the whole dating thing; I know I was a terrible boyfriend, but please can we move on?” he said, giving me a small kiss on my cheek.
“Sure, I guess,” I replied with a smile. I turned to look at Triansle and Benny, who looked sad, I guess. Benny spoke first. “Fenera, I’m so sorry; that was rude of us to assume you were poor. We never really spend time with people in a lower class, so we just assumed you were poor because we never actually met an average human. Sorry, please never leave like that; you made us worry.” She turned to look at Triansle, who looked bored. “Do you have something to say, Tri?”
“Who me? Um…sorry.” I looked at him, then gave Benny and Nuravo a slight smile.
“He doesn’t have to apologize; I was going to forgive you guys anyway, but I was upset.” Nuravo’s eyes went wide. “Good! This is the perfect time for me to explain why I brought you guys here…follow me, guys.”
Nuravo and Benny went ahead while I walked behind with Triansle. I looked around to avoid making eye contact with him, so things wouldn't get awkward. I was about to lift my arms and pretend it was hot to get rid of the tension between us, but he grabbed my hand before I could lift it.
"Hey, Fenera." He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "I was an ass in the car."
I stopped walking and looked at him. That wasn't what I expected him to say.
"I shouldn't have assumed you were poor," he continued, his voice quieter now. "Or handed you money like some charity case. That was completely out of line."
I studied his face. For once, Mr. Confident actually looked uncomfortable. His usual smirk was gone, replaced by something that looked almost genuine.
"I misread the situation," he said. "You carry yourself with such... I don't know, grace? I just jumped to conclusions." He let out a short laugh. "My mom says I go overboard sometimes. Well, more than sometimes."
Despite myself, I felt the knot in my chest loosen a little. "You were being a snob."
"Yeah." He met my eyes. "I was. And I'm sorry. Like, actually sorry."
We stood there for a moment, Nuravo and Benny's voices drifting back from ahead. Triansle shifted his weight, still holding my hand.
"For the record," he added, "even if you were struggling financially—not that you are—it wouldn't change anything. You'd still be the same person. Still more than just... average." He winced. "That came out weird. What I mean is—"
"I get it," I cut him off before he could dig himself deeper. He seemed sincere, and honestly, I was tired of being angry. "I forgive you."
His whole face changed, lighting up with relief. "Really?"
"Really. But if you ever hand me money like that again—"
"Never. I promise." He grinned, that confident smile creeping back. "Friends?"
"Friends," I agreed.
We finally arrived at our destination, which was the skating rink; Nuravo’s driver pulled up.
“You see, guys, I was thinking of buying this place so we could have a secret base, like a batch of Mafia boss kids. Cool, right? So, I thought I could buy this place and just renovate it. The good thing is we have girls on our team, and they tend to have good taste. So, what do you folks think?”
We all nodded. I had to admit; it was perfect for the little mission I just got. Well, that's what I was calling it—a "little mission."
Nuravo pushed open the door, and we stepped inside.
The interior wasn't as bad as the outside, but it was still rough. The wooden skating floor was intact, but the air reeked of mold. The walls were stained a sickly brown, and the front counter was shattered. The lockers and office seemed okay, and the drinking area was... acceptable.
I crouched down and lifted a loose floorboard. Underneath, a colony of fire ants swarmed. They had built a kingdom down there and clearly didn't plan to leave anytime soon.
I stood up and dusted off my hands. Immediately, Triansle grabbed my wrists. He pulled a bottle of hand sanitizer from his pocket and squeezed three fat globs onto my palm. He gave me a proud smile.
I rolled my eyes and started rubbing it in, but honestly, it was too much. It wasn't dissolving. I ended up shaking my hands, letting the excess sanitizer splat onto the wooden floor. Fairly, the floor needed it more than I did. Triansle was a little dramatic, not gonna lie.
I walked across the room to the DJ booth and pressed a button on an ancient radio. It looked like something built in 2016. The speakers blasted a screech of static and a few garbled words I couldn't make out. It sounded like rapping—that was so 2016.
I switched it off and turned back to my new friends.
Rich kids are weird. Sure, the mold stank, but they were being dramatic. They had literally started putting on gas masks.
I stared at them. Nuravo ran over to me, tilting his head like a confused puppy.
"Why aren't you wearing a mask? Oh, I know why; you didn't bring one. I brought an extra; I knew it was going to be full of gases. Here, put it on or you will die," he said, handing me a gas mask like we were in active warfare, and the enemy had just dropped a poison bomb.
I took the mask.
And the world shifted.
My vision blurred, melting into a new reality that chilled me to my core.
I witnessed chaos unfurling. People screamed for mercy as they fled distorted shadows of their former selves. Soldiers stormed into homes, tearing families apart. Monstrous figures wielded guns, their laughter echoing like a twisted song in the night.
A woman stood amid the storm, her smile stark against the backdrop of despair. She lifted a bell. Instead of fleeing, she simply rang it.
A grotesque silence fell like a shroud over the landscape.
The men, once predators, froze as a chilling command shattered the quiet: "PUT ON YOUR GAS MASKS."
Obediently, they complied. Yet the fear etched upon their faces revealed the truth: they were not the conquerors but the condemned.
A gas bomb filled the air—a suffocating miasma that extinguished life like a snuffed candle. Laughter turned into agonized gasps. The moment of revelry twisted into horror, hands clapping joyfully for the death that surrounded them.
And then, there she was again. The woman with the bell. Her form grew more ethereal by the second. She stepped toward me, her eyes piercing through the haze of death and despair.
"You will save the world next," she said, her voice haunting, echoing with a gravity that struck at my very soul. "But it will not be so simple. You need a team that you trust and believe in—before it is too late."
And just like that, she vanished.
I stood alone in the haunting silence, a chilling fear settling in my bones. The echoes of their laughter mingled with the cries of the lost. I glanced around, desperate to find a glimmer of hope, but in this twisted reality, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was now a part of something far more sinister than I had ever imagined.
Everything snapped back into focus.
Nuravo, Triansle, and Benny were standing right in front of me, staring at me like they’d just seen a ghost—or maybe a giant pizza.
Nuravo decided it was a great idea to lift up my eyelids, like he was trying to check if I was awake or just taking a super long nap. I was about to say something clever, like “How’s the weather in your imagination?” but then he WIDE-OPENED my eyelids like they were the curtains at a magic show. Seriously, I thought my eyeballs were going to pop out! Then he used his pinky finger—like a tiny, creepy toe—and touched the inside of my eye!
“OUCH, NURAVO, WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO THAT?!” I yelled, shoving him away. He shrugged, acting all chill. “I thought you were dead! After you touched the mask, you went ‘POOF!’ like a magician’s trick. You seemed to have gone BYE-BYE for real!”
“Whatever, Nuravo! Where did you get these masks?” I asked, concerned about that vision I had just seen. The masks Nuravo and the others had looked like the ones the evil people wore when they threw the poison bomb.
"My mom found it in an antique store and brought one for me and my friends. Why?" Benny answered for him, sounding concerned.
"No reason." I felt as if that vision should stay private.
I do not think it would be safe if it got out. I could put my friends in danger, and honestly, I did not know Benny and Triansle that well, so they were not on my trust list. I looked at Triansle, and his eyes widened, making his pupils small. I shook my head. How did he do that? I have never seen a human do it before. He looked away quickly.
He then looked in my direction, but a tad bit, not like he turned his full head. “What did you see?” No one seemed to have heard him but me. How? He practically yelled.
Triansle then said louder, “WHAT DID YOU SEE, FENERA? TELL ME!” his voice was not like how it usually sounded like. It was raspy and hoarse like a ghost was speaking for him. I looked at Nuravo and Benny, who still seemed deaf.
I thought to myself, "I can’t tell you. Sorry." This is stupid; I’m acting like he will answer me if I speak through my brain.
“Oh, it worked all right. I know you saw something; do not try to hide it! I have been on this world for about one millennium. I can find anything out.” He said, then his eyes went back to normal.
I blinked at him, and he just smirked his normal smirk like nothing just happened. Nuravo tapped me on the shoulder while Benny braided my hair.
“She did it again. Why does she keep leaving us like she is dying? She does that thing Triansle does whenever we watch war movies; it’s just some sort of thing they do when they are scared maybe.” I heard Benny whisper to Nuravo.
“I think we are losing her,” he joked to keep the tone funny and not tense.
I stood up straight and moved forward to show them I could still hear. They hugged me. Nuravo looked relieved while Benny seemed okay, I guess. She placed a kiss on my cheek and smiled at me.
“We thought we lost you, right Nuravo and Triansle?” she said with a smile.
Nuravo nodded “can you stop scaring us!”
Triansle looked confused, “wait what happened? Can y’all fill me in? What did Fenera do again?”
Benny rolled her eyes “you never focus, seriously. were you like having a vision, too? Cause you were looking straight at her when it happened.”
Nuravo chuckled “I’ll fill you in friend. Well, Fenera keeps going in these visions and we keep feeling like she is dying every time.”
I stared at Triansle “Is this a joke Triansle? You really didn’t know what happened? You were just—” I stopped and then seen Nuravo and Benny staring at me.
“I mean you were probably in a vision too!” I said with a smile at him.
“Um okay.” Triansle said looking around.
I stared at Triansle, but he just wore a concerned look on his face.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Morning Laylay~

I’m jumping in at ch3 so let’s see what you have in store for us ^^
I like how the first paragraph is dripping with personality :3 (Also bold to have such an opinionated MC! Looking forward to figure out why she’s so obsessed with luxuries XD)
“Did he say I was POOR?” I know what you mean here, that your MC is offended that her friends think she’s not middle class. But the way you phrased it makes it feel repetitive since… yes this is literally what he said. Maybe you could rephrase it in a way that gives more insight into what your MC really thinks? The betrayal she feels?
Ouuchhh way to throw her bf under the bus XD “ He never spent a dime on me! If we went out, I was the one footing the bill, while he just sat there, waiting for his food!“ Why did she even befriend him if he’s not willing to split the bill @.@
Ohhh love this mystery: “The day Layyinah started to have nightmares. 93271.“ And that this happens regularly too!
Hmm I feel like we spent a lot of time on the class issue without actually deepening this into an interesting insight into class dynamics but also too long for it to be a quick side note. Maybe you could think abt shortening this section? XD I was way more interested in why Nuravo brought them here :3
Aww love the little description of the fire ants :3
Ohhaaa does your MC have some sorta “view into the past” power? And this gas mask has seen a ton of sad action? @.@
I must say a few of your paragraphs are very reminiscent of AI-writing. I saw it a few times with ppl that use generative AI often—their writing starts to sound like it too. The worst part is that LLMs copy from human writing; so often, innocuous phrasings stand out just because the LLMs like to use them too ☹
It’s something to be aware of.
It’s stuff like this too: “staring at me like they’d just seen a ghost—or maybe a giant pizza.” Idk why you’d bring up a pizza here? XD Unless this has been an insider joke I’m missing out on bc I didn’t read ch1 and 2?
“and touched the inside of my eye!” ---why’d she let him get this far? O_O
Especially since they are so concerned with germs and stuff?
It sounds to me Fenera did find the ppl she’s supposed to save the world with huh? They even have a super secret base already xd
And it also sounds like they too come with extra powers? XD (“I have never seen a human do it before. He looked away quickly.“ Anyone? :3)
Uhm why are we braiding her hair? “Nuravo tapped me on the shoulder while Benny braided my hair.“
Also does no one question the line abt the being on earth for a millenium? XD Or is this something we already know from the other chapters?
If you have any questions, let me know~
Join the fight! Write more reviews!
Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the wretched S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - Nuravo takes Fenera, T, and Benny out to an abandoned roller rink. T and Benny don’t like the rink because it’s abandoned and they associate it with poor people. T suggests that Fenera is poor, which gets her very upset. After the fight, they calmly walk into the rink, where Fenera puts on a gas mask and sees a rather harrowing vision!
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Hmm…the dialogue confuses me a bit. I don’t understand why T would ask out loud to Fenera if she dated Nuravo so he could provide for her with money. The way he says all of it feels a little unrealistic. And later on, they talk about her going into multiple visions, like they have seen her do it before, but it’s only mentioned here one time. Those were just my thoughts.
Chocolate Bar - I like that the roller rink is all abandoned, it really brings in the creepy factor. The note left on the door is eerie too, it’s like someone was waiting for her to find something. I at first thought that Nuravo left it for her but now I think that Layyinah may have wanted her to find it. Maybe her ghost? I also like the vision of all the guys dying with the gas mask, it feels like an omen. I wonder if the woman in the vision was Layyinah in the past, protecting her people.
Closing Graham Cracker - Overall, a bit of a more spooky chapter to this story! I have enjoyed reading this and I will be certain to read the other chapters of this story when they are out. I can’t wait to see what else they’ll find in the roller rink and so…
I wish you an awesome day/night! ^v^