Thirteen

by Lavvie

Published April 6, 2011

Thirteen days to go,
Thirteen birthdays past,
Thirteen years lived,
Thirteen bottles of pills,
Thirteen times visited.
~
Thirteen minutes to live,
Thirteen bags of blood,
Thirteen needles inserted,
Thirteen vases of flowers,
Thirteen television channels.
~
Only:
Thirteen little gravestones,
Thirteen people to pay respects,
Thirteen hearts broken,
Thirteen lines in the sermon,
And one young girl,
Thirteen years old and dead to the world.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
NathanielC
Review
NathanielC wrote a review Review · Apr 6, 2011

It didn't surprise me that this poem hooked me with it's title. Reading this was almost like watching simple but well detailed sequences of images. Flashing pictures that tell a simple, but sad story. I also agree with the previous statement above me, about the construction of this poem. The repetition does well in assisting the impact of the words, which I suppose are what help's make this seem so easy to imagine!

I can picture an ill girl, almost without hope letting the time pass by as she waits for her inevitable end. Remembering a number that's cursed her, as it's represented with;

Thirteen bottles of pills,


Thirteen bags of blood,


Thirteen needles inserted,


And of course,

Thirteen little gravestones,


Again, very good job. I look forward to seeing more imagery with works like these from you!

User avatar
inkwell
Review
inkwell wrote a review Review · Apr 6, 2011

Nice poem! I like the repetition, it allows for the lines in the last stanza to be emphasized well. It has a strong ending which I always like and there are no grammatical/spelling mistakes which is lovely and refreshing.

I just don't get the title? JK! :P

Random avatar
Ashley529
Comment
Ashley529 commented Comment · Apr 6, 2011

Thirteen Bravo's. Very Good work!



WHAT'S UP, POTATOES?
— Rudy (Aru Shah and the Nectar of Immortality)