“He
called you a bad word.” I said quietly, staring at my toes.
“He's
here right now?” The therapist asked, she was tall, with big round
glasses and a tight bun.
“Yes.”
he didn't always talk, sometimes I could feel him just watching threw
my eyes, right now on the other hand he was telling me exactly what
he thought of my new therapist Miss Aaron.
“What
does he call himself ?” She asked, her huge curious eyes staring at
me intensively.
“Lu.”
he says its a nickname for his real name, but he won't tell me what
it is.
“And
when did he said something? What was the first thing he said?” she
said, her head now turned to her notepad, scribbling long loopy
words.
“He
first said something when I was eleven and the first thing he said
was happy birthday, Eden.” I knew the questions by heart.
They were always the same, the only difference from each new
therapist was the medication and the size of the bun tucked behind
their head. Why don't we just storm out? Let turtle neck write
something new in your file.
That
was Lu. Always telling me what I could do. Even if it was the wrong
one.
“How
many times does he talk?”
“When
it started months passed before he said anything again, nowadays he
never shuts up.”
I
never shut up! My ass, you enjoy my company. “
I would also like to add that he's very cocky.” I smiled.
I'm
rolling my eyes, Ede.
“Can
I talk to him?” I nodded slowly, he usually didn't like “talking”
to others. “Hello Lu. My name is Miss-”
“He
says he knows what your name is.” I cut in.
“That's
good.” she smiled, scribbling on her notepad again. “Lu, why do
you vanish from time to time?”
“Better
things to do.”
“
I see, why come at all then?” her big
green eyes seemed intrigued, as if fascinated by her own questions.
“He
says it's fun to mess with my brain. Tempt me to do bad things, he
says I want to do.”
“Like
which bad things? What does he want you to do?”
“Sometimes
it's something simple like steal a chocolate bar or talk back, like
right now he wanted me to leave, but sometimes...” my eyes returned
to my feet, I hate saying this.
“Sometimes?”
“Sometimes...”
I sighed. “ he wants me to kill. He wants me to kill myself,
sometimes others.” My voice trembled at the thought and I couldn't
help looking at my wrists. The marks were gone now.
Come
on, Ede, don't tell her it's all me. I
could hear the amusement in his thick voice.
And
then the clock rang. It was time for the next client and that meant I
got to leave. Finally.
“Oh,
seems it's time. Well, Thursday then?”
I
nodded and bolted outside the door, rushing through the next
sad and depressed kid. I focused on my feet while walking past the
reception and into freezing London.
Why
did we have to leave? I was really starting to like that therapist.
She had some sexy glasses.
“Shut
up!” I huffed.
Heavy
snow was patched on to the road, it was freezing but I couldn’t
help smiling at it. I didn’t care that I was cold and that my hands
were shaking and so for- I just loved snow too much to care.
I
tightened the coat and scarf around my body and kept walking. It
wasn’t a very far walk, ten minutes on a quick pace, fifteen if you
took your sweet time. My eyes darted to everyone enjoying the snow as
much as I did. From kids making snowmen to the broke teenager earning
easy money by shoveling the snow out of the road. I couldn’t even
stop smiling as I saw a young boy, not more than five, maybe six,
appear out of the corner of the street. Following, who I presumed was
his dad, due to the same brown curls they both had on the top of
their heads, and throwing a huge snowball at his back. The dad
turned, his face smiling and ran to him. Screaming something too far
away to hear. And grabbing his son by his ankles. What a family
portrait.
And
that's when I heard someone scream.
It
was a painfully shrieking scream coming from behind me. I turned
around and saw flames, bright red flames, from what seemed of a house
a block away. I stopped for a second, looking around. Everyone on the
street just stared at the huge flames, even the cars were going
slower. I sprinted off. In search for the house in flames.
It
took me four minutes to run to it. I was standing in front of the red
house. The people next to me were in shock. Some had dialed the
police, others just watched the flames grow higher. Was someone still
in the house? And that's when I heard the scream again. The same
shrieking scream as before. Only louder now. And it was coming from
inside the building. But everyone else just kept watching.
“I..I...need
to help”, I breathed.
The
front door had already burned down to ashes. I sprinted inside. And
regretted it the moment I was in the house.
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