Young Writers Society

Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems; Or In This Case, Less Money, Mo’ Problems

    In this world of America, money is a necessity, and I happen to have lots of it! Many people aren’t married to a billionaire, nor are they as rich as me. I’m not being selfish or anything, it’s just the truth. Everyone complains that they don’t have a job and that they don’t have enough money for food, but they don’t realize that they can get money if they have a job. I used to have a job, but that was when I still I had about $100,000 in my pocket. I watch the news quite often, and every time, there’s always the headline talking about money and unemployment: “The Amount of Americans Unemployed is Rapidly Growing Over the Course of the Year”, “Money is Becoming Harder and Harder to Earn With America Over A Trillion Dollars in Debt”. It’s really ridiculous to see how many people can’t just get up and get a job! I mean, who do they think they are!? Sitting around, asking people to give them food, money, or just a place to sleep!? See, this is why I refuse to give any of my money to charity. Who would benefit from it? I can totally see someone buying a Ferrari with that money. 

   But let’s get to the point, my name is Lotsa Muns. See, I had this really odd encounter a couple weeks back. I got up early, and I went running around the neighborhood like I usually do. No better way to stay fit than to run every morning for a couple hours! I was already done with my neighborhood when I was about an hour in, and I decided to visit the less wealthy people in the neighborhood on the west side of L.A. When I got there, I saw a couple of people walking their dogs, doing some gardening, and they were all wearing these bland clothes. Now, it’s weird how I was able to afford over $1,000 on some nice workout clothes and they couldn’t spend that much on a pair of leggings. But I mean, some people I saw were wearing some nice brands. But that’s not the point, I was still running when I saw this girl, maybe the age of about 24 sitting in the back of an abandoned house with two toddlers. She was in rags, and both of her children had a towel wrapped around them. I stopped running when I got near them, and I heard one of the children ask if they would have food. Then she said quietly, ‘Honey, you know we can’t, maybe in a couple days.’ Then I went up to her and said hello.

    She looked up at me like I was some sort of celebrity. Like, I didn’t mind but it was strange to have her look at me like that. She asked, ‘Who are you?’ And I told her, which I then asked for her name. 

    “My name is Monae Less, I’m sorry for asking but why are you talking to me? Shouldn’t you be talking to Justin Beiber or something?” She said softly. She was kinda sassy in my opinion, but I understand why she did it. How would you like it if someone just came up to you and asked for your name without a reason? She almost seemed upset, but I guess everyone in this neighborhood would be upset, they can’t have everything I have!

    “Oh! Well, I guess I wanted to see how you were, you have no home, no money, and no food. Do you have a job?” I asked politely. She looked up at me like she was mad at me.

    “Can you please go? If you won’t try to help me in any way so I can give my girls something to eat, then I think you should leave. We’re all hungry, and you showing off all your money isn’t helping.” She snapped. I was surprised, and I guess it must’ve shown because then she looked down in shame.

    “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that….”

    “Oh, no it’s quite alright. Well, I guess I should get going, I need to feed my dogs.” And then I left. Now, after I left, I had been thinking. People had it tough, those who didn’t have jobs had no food, no money, no nothing. And that leads to failure in life. Maybe I should’ve helped her, but what would I give her? A hug? A few dollars? No, that wouldn’t be right. 

    Plus, having no job left you ugly. If you have no job, that means you have no money. Having no money means you have no food. Having no food means you get skinny. Getting really skinny means you’re ugly. And being ugly means you won’t have the love of your life. And having no one to love you means you’re super depressed and eventually die sad. No one wants that. Although, I’m surprised with the people who are sad. What do they need to be sad for? They lost a keychain that some relative gave them before they died?

    I got back home after a while and I was still thinking. Would Monae have been rich if she was in my place and had had a job somewhere? Or would she still be poor?

    I decided to consult my husband Bigs, and he gave me some sound advice. ‘If you want to make a difference in the world, just be there to give them something to look up to, then they’ll be more tempted to get a job and get rich like us.’ He had said. I’ll admit, it was very uplifting since my spirits had been down ever since I had met Monae. So, every day since then, I decided to keep running in that area. But last week, I noticed that there was only one child. I didn’t ask, cause for some reason, every time she saw me she got up and walked away. But I guess she was so impressed by me she started getting a job. 

    Now, I know I’m doing good in the world. Just being in people's lives makes them so happy that they feel motivated. Everyone should do that. No need to give to charity, no need to buy food for someone, no need to give someone poor a few dollars, cause they won’t do anything with that. Just have them see you every day and eventually, their lives will transform for the better.

    I still wonder what happened to that kid though, I guess they ran away. I would too, why would I let my mom not give me the best clothes in the world? Oh well, I guess in a way, being in poverty is great, there are so many advantages, and you never suffer. And unemployment, that’s not so bad either, there are not that many people without a job. Plus, they have people like me, they can work for me and I can give them a dollar every hour.

    Well, that was the major part of my life recently, so I hope you’ll learn from my example, don’t get a job, stay hungry, and always live in rags. You’ll have me and my husband to look up to.

Yours truly,

Lotsa and Bigs Muns ♥

Author's Note: I'd just like to say, I had to go through a whole lot of trouble to get this published, and I'd really like anyone to tell me if this would count as a good satire, and if not, what I should fix. I decided to focus on Unemployment and poverty and I wanted to have it set in a wealthy woman's POV. So if you'd take the time, I'd really appreciate if you read this.