Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Other » Literature

E - Everyone

Satire (Creative Writing Assignment)

by LakeOfCancer


Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems; Or In This Case, Less Money, Mo’ Problems



    In this world of America, money is a necessity, and I happen to have lots of it! Many people aren’t married to a billionaire, nor are they as rich as me. I’m not being selfish or anything, it’s just the truth. Everyone complains that they don’t have a job and that they don’t have enough money for food, but they don’t realize that they can get money if they have a job. I used to have a job, but that was when I still I had about $100,000 in my pocket. I watch the news quite often, and every time, there’s always the headline talking about money and unemployment: “The Amount of Americans Unemployed is Rapidly Growing Over the Course of the Year”, “Money is Becoming Harder and Harder to Earn With America Over A Trillion Dollars in Debt”. It’s really ridiculous to see how many people can’t just get up and get a job! I mean, who do they think they are!? Sitting around, asking people to give them food, money, or just a place to sleep!? See, this is why I refuse to give any of my money to charity. Who would benefit from it? I can totally see someone buying a Ferrari with that money. 

   But let’s get to the point, my name is Lotsa Muns. See, I had this really odd encounter a couple weeks back. I got up early, and I went running around the neighborhood like I usually do. No better way to stay fit than to run every morning for a couple hours! I was already done with my neighborhood when I was about an hour in, and I decided to visit the less wealthy people in the neighborhood on the west side of L.A. When I got there, I saw a couple of people walking their dogs, doing some gardening, and they were all wearing these bland clothes. Now, it’s weird how I was able to afford over $1,000 on some nice workout clothes and they couldn’t spend that much on a pair of leggings. But I mean, some people I saw were wearing some nice brands. But that’s not the point, I was still running when I saw this girl, maybe the age of about 24 sitting in the back of an abandoned house with two toddlers. She was in rags, and both of her children had a towel wrapped around them. I stopped running when I got near them, and I heard one of the children ask if they would have food. Then she said quietly, ‘Honey, you know we can’t, maybe in a couple days.’ Then I went up to her and said hello.

    She looked up at me like I was some sort of celebrity. Like, I didn’t mind but it was strange to have her look at me like that. She asked, ‘Who are you?’ And I told her, which I then asked for her name. 

    “My name is Monae Less, I’m sorry for asking but why are you talking to me? Shouldn’t you be talking to Justin Beiber or something?” She said softly. She was kinda sassy in my opinion, but I understand why she did it. How would you like it if someone just came up to you and asked for your name without a reason? She almost seemed upset, but I guess everyone in this neighborhood would be upset, they can’t have everything I have!

    “Oh! Well, I guess I wanted to see how you were, you have no home, no money, and no food. Do you have a job?” I asked politely. She looked up at me like she was mad at me.

    “Can you please go? If you won’t try to help me in any way so I can give my girls something to eat, then I think you should leave. We’re all hungry, and you showing off all your money isn’t helping.” She snapped. I was surprised, and I guess it must’ve shown because then she looked down in shame.

    “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that….”

    “Oh, no it’s quite alright. Well, I guess I should get going, I need to feed my dogs.” And then I left. Now, after I left, I had been thinking. People had it tough, those who didn’t have jobs had no food, no money, no nothing. And that leads to failure in life. Maybe I should’ve helped her, but what would I give her? A hug? A few dollars? No, that wouldn’t be right. 

    Plus, having no job left you ugly. If you have no job, that means you have no money. Having no money means you have no food. Having no food means you get skinny. Getting really skinny means you’re ugly. And being ugly means you won’t have the love of your life. And having no one to love you means you’re super depressed and eventually die sad. No one wants that. Although, I’m surprised with the people who are sad. What do they need to be sad for? They lost a keychain that some relative gave them before they died?

    I got back home after a while and I was still thinking. Would Monae have been rich if she was in my place and had had a job somewhere? Or would she still be poor?

    I decided to consult my husband Bigs, and he gave me some sound advice. ‘If you want to make a difference in the world, just be there to give them something to look up to, then they’ll be more tempted to get a job and get rich like us.’ He had said. I’ll admit, it was very uplifting since my spirits had been down ever since I had met Monae. So, every day since then, I decided to keep running in that area. But last week, I noticed that there was only one child. I didn’t ask, cause for some reason, every time she saw me she got up and walked away. But I guess she was so impressed by me she started getting a job. 

    Now, I know I’m doing good in the world. Just being in people's lives makes them so happy that they feel motivated. Everyone should do that. No need to give to charity, no need to buy food for someone, no need to give someone poor a few dollars, cause they won’t do anything with that. Just have them see you every day and eventually, their lives will transform for the better.

    I still wonder what happened to that kid though, I guess they ran away. I would too, why would I let my mom not give me the best clothes in the world? Oh well, I guess in a way, being in poverty is great, there are so many advantages, and you never suffer. And unemployment, that’s not so bad either, there are not that many people without a job. Plus, they have people like me, they can work for me and I can give them a dollar every hour.

    Well, that was the major part of my life recently, so I hope you’ll learn from my example, don’t get a job, stay hungry, and always live in rags. You’ll have me and my husband to look up to.







Yours truly,

Lotsa and Bigs Muns ♥

Author's Note: I'd just like to say, I had to go through a whole lot of trouble to get this published, and I'd really like anyone to tell me if this would count as a good satire, and if not, what I should fix. I decided to focus on Unemployment and poverty and I wanted to have it set in a wealthy woman's POV. So if you'd take the time, I'd really appreciate if you read this.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1197 Reviews


Points: 28261
Reviews: 1197

Donate
Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:59 am
View Likes
niteowl wrote a review...



Hi there LakeofCancer!

Overall, I think this is a decent satire. There are honestly some people who think like this. My dad sends me email forwards all the time about the evils of socialism, conveniently ignoring the fact that he is on Social Security and Medicare. So yes he is very much in the category of "why don't you just go out and get a job/better job?"

Some minor points I think could be better:

I used to have a job, but that was when I still I had about $100,000 in my pocket.


I think this would be funnier if you said "only", like that amount is chump change. I feel like that's what you meant, but it's not quite as clear.

No better way to stay fit than to run every morning for a couple hours!


I'm not sure if this was intentional, but it's actually a really interesting way to highlight the gap between the rich and poor when it comes to health and fitness. Rich people can afford things like healthy food, workout gear, and fancy gyms, while poor people can't. Something like running for a couple hours is a luxury-both in money (running gear), time (a poor person working multiple jobs to get by doesn't have the time and energy to just run), and a safe space (if you live in a bad neighborhood, you may not want to run outdoors).

“My name is Monae Less, I’m sorry for asking but why are you talking to me? Shouldn’t you be talking to Justin Beiber or something?” She said softly. She was kinda sassy in my opinion, but I understand why she did it.


Couple things here:
1) I'm not sure about the punny names. They're good for a quick chuckle but might be too silly.

2) I think there might be a more natural-sounding way to express her surprise with a little attitude. Like "Lady, are you lost?" Or "I think Beverly Hills is that way".

3) It's actually kind of touching to see her talk to someone in this situation, since often rich people ignore people like that. It kind of makes her returning to her rich-person way of thinking that much more powerful, like even after seeing this stuff first-hand she's still ignorant.

Now, it’s weird how I was able to afford over $1,000 on some nice workout clothes and they couldn’t spend that much on a pair of leggings. But I mean, some people I saw were wearing some nice brands.


This actually glosses over one of the main anti-welfare arguments, which is essentially "Why does that person need food stamps? Look they have a smartphone/name brand clothes/[insert luxury item here]. Heck, you might have seen this Fox News bit about how poor people have refrigerators and microwaves, so clearly they can't be suffering. Never mind that these things aren't really that expensive, fridges and other appliances are pretty standard in apartments, people can get nice things as gifts or save up for them, or they can get the nice things and then lose their job.

So back to the piece, I think it would be fitting for her to see someone wearing nice things and wondering why they claim they're so poor and need help.


Having no food means you get skinny. Getting really skinny means you’re ugly. And being ugly means you won’t have the love of your life.


I'm pretty sure a rich woman would see being skinny as a good thing. I mean, everyone wants to lose weight, and not eating because you can't afford to eat is a great way to do that, amirite?

What do they need to be sad for? They lost a keychain that some relative gave them before they died?


This keychain bit seems kind of random. I feel like there's room for a more realistic thought here, like "They don't have jobs so they can just sit around all day and mooch off the government unlike my billionaire husband who works super hard".

Overall, I liked this. I think the perspective was done well. Good luck on your assignment and keep writing! :D




LakeOfCancer says...


OHMYGOD THANK YOU SO MUCH! While I was reading this, I'd switch through my tabs and edit some things you found that needed to be changed. I'm so glad you noticed them, I'm not sure I could've done it without anyone else's help!XD You're a life saver fren!



User avatar
37 Reviews


Points: 1634
Reviews: 37

Donate
Sun Sep 16, 2018 2:49 am
View Likes
Louisiana15 wrote a review...



WOW! Powerful message.

First, if you want the traditional satire, you'd include humor into it--you poke fun at the issue. I don't see any humor within this. Rather, I see arrogance AND ignorance as well as selfishness. So, if you wanted the traditional form, I suggest some humor. BUT, if you want the satire that is serious but completes the goal of a satire: to call for reform, then spot on! By incorporating arrogance and ignorance into your narrator, you draw frustration from your audience. I wanted to slap Lotsa Muns; I also wanted to go out and find the unemployed and help them.

I want to commend you for choosing this topic because honestly, so many people avoid it... So, great job here!

With Bigs, I didn't feel the same ignorance and arrogance from Lotsa Muns, so I think you should develop his dialogue to those themes. The fact that he seemed "less" than Losta Muns takes away from the message you want to send for a small while until you get back to Losta Muns responding to him. Soon as you get there, your message is strong, again.

I think for the poor woman, you should add a little more weakness. The unemployed and poor can be strong, yes, but your point is to call out their issues and you can't do that when you have the women giving sass and such. It makes her seem unpleasant. I just think you should tweak her character a bit. Now, with the little girls: a beautiful job. Sad when one of the girls dies, but it's reality... So, many die from hunger and that is what you're trying to show. It gripped my heart when I saw that the girl died and I wanted to jump into the satire and save the woman and her other daughter from death, too.

Other than those comments, I think this is wonderfully written and ready for Monday!!




LakeOfCancer says...


OHMYGOD THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU DOING THIS WILL HELP ME LATER WHEN I RE-EDIT THIS! You are a freaking life saver!



Louisiana15 says...


Always glad to help!!!! Let me know if you want me to re-read it! :)



LakeOfCancer says...


Ofc! :D




"And the rest is rust and stardust."
— Vladimir Nabokov