In The Darkness

Hello, Castiel Here!
You did a great job. i can really relate to this. When i read "But what i never let myself know or feel Is that all this time in the dark was not real " it sent chills up my spine. It is definitely a hard reality to face when your depressed. I always imagine myself running from everything. Running from my own demons instead of fighting them. I imagine myself running from other demons instead of my own sometimes. Running with the Winchesters, or sometimes with The Doctor. This poem had a huge effect on me. The last lines reminded me of a quote; a quote that i love and hate. I love it because it tells the truth, but i hate it because it also brings me back to reality, like being slapped in the face whilst daydreaming: "When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it'll never end. But however hard you try you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever for one moment, accepts it. Everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair, and the Doctor comes to call... everybody lives.”
I guess... i just don't want it to end.
Great job.

I absolutely love this. You're a great writer. Definitely one of my favorites I've read on this site! Completely relatable.

Wow. Just wow. This was excellent. You tackled the true pains and sorrows of depression. Coming from experience, this is very accurate on what depression leads to. The only errors in this were some capitalization errors with the I's and in line 7 you say "stand" instead of stands. Otherwise you have outdone yourself. You are a deep writer, which I respect immensely. Do not stop writing, and one more thing; where did the inspiration come from? You do not have to tell me if you do not want to. I am only curious. You have a true talent.
-TheResilentDreamer

This is fantastic! I think it accurately depicts how depression really transforms and overtakes a person and his/her mind and how eventually, the resting darkness of this deep depression becomes more of a home than anything ever did in the past. Especially at the ending, when there's the realization of how the darkness is actually a figment of the mind, is when the impact of the poem really hits. I love this! It's a lot of meaning compacted in a small poem.

One thing I will say is that line six (for me, at least) has a rhythm that is a bit short of the rest of the poem and kind of shakes the reader from the true message for a little, but then gets right back on track for the rest of the poem. Very lovely overall!

Hi there! Happy Review Day!

Wow, so I love how you incorporated a fear some people have into something you (or this "person") love. And you tell why!

Some people use it as a certain style of writing, but if you don't: I suggest capitalizing all the "I"'s. Again, if it's your style of writing, by all means, keep it!

Also, you may want to put in a couple commas and throw in a period every now and then, because right now this poem doesn't have any soo....

I like how I have to think a bit to understand, but then again it's really easy to understand. I don't know if that makes sense, but I just like how the questions come to your mind, but they are quickly answered.


I have to say that I like the last line the best, which is fantastic . Why? Because the last line is basically the line that closes everything, the line that sums everything up. It's a good thing you wrote such a good last line!


Overall, I really loved this poem and I look forward to more writing from you!

WillowPaw1~

First things first... Holy Keys! this is awesome! I Loved how its all this good things that the dark has like the speakers dreams coming true everything is as it would be in the perfect universe. I enjoyed the twist like the light which you never see nor hear must be the darker force and the darkness is the light in a sense. I really enjoyed the ending where you write it was all fake and never real. Really good twist. Overall, Really well done.

Hey CesareBorgia, here for a review.

I loved this poem, but there are some qualms, and literary fallacies. But for all intensive purposes, I still like the poem.

Here i see what i want to see
Here i am what i want to be

Here i can do what i want to
Here all my hopes come true

Here no obstacles stand in my way
Here i am happy everyday

Here all my dreams become real
Here my nightmares disappear

In the darkness i walk alone

Now the darkness is my home

But what i never let myself know or feel

Is that all this time in the dark was not real

Hai Lalia, happy review day! Laure here for a short review! So, I'm going to start off with the technical things. Both grammar and content wise.

From what I read in your brief introduction, this is a poem about where depression can lead you yes? Yet, the poem didn't really seem to reflect that to me. Granted, the last two line had an echo of a dark shadow however all the previous stanzas seem to be describing of a happy place. And only at the end, you bring out the real bang! So that it seems to me, the character is waking from a dream. Secondly, the pace of this poem seems to be flowing quite nicely however, I found some places where you can expand the lines a bit and the content so it all connects up.

Like the first and second line, how is the darkness your home now? Why wasn't it before?

'Here my nightmares disappear' -Ok, this is fine. I get this. But what does this, and how does it connect to why character doesn't let herself feel?

The rhyming and the style of poem: I noticed you tried to rhyme this poem, and you've done a good job of it in some places, however in others the lines seemed force because you wanted to rhyme it. Like everyday and way. I also noticed that in this poem, you seem to tell more than show. There are some good imagery here, however you tend to tell the readers things instead of showing them with language.

Like, how you tell us you're happy everyday, and you feel is how your dreams come true, or you tell us you can be what you want. You could show this to this, by using figurative language like similes and metaphors. That way your poem will appear much more vivid and alive.

The one major problem I have with this poem are the I, are they intended to be that way as some poets do for style? Or did you just forget that all single I needs to be capitalized under general circumstance.

Overall impression: I know I've been a bit blunt, but I think you have a good message here and a different view on depression on how it can lead you to believe different things when in fact is a whole different reality. You have so very true lines there and some good imageryr, but you need to expand them more and work on showing your ideas and not telling them. Also, try and connect all the lines to each other and be concise with your words.

Hoped I helped.

-Laure