Lizz - I'm having a difficult time understanding this poem on multiple levels - but wanted to throw an interpretation out there and see what you have to say.
Interpretation
1. - could just be like a "did you ever think" moment where the speaker is trying to make the reader think about rain // and then realize the connection between something beautiful and something that's a hassle. It's poetic, but also almost satirical - like "you don't care much about precipitation when it's beautiful, but when it's inconvenient you pay a lot of attention to it. Which can be drawn to a larger metaphor about how people pay more attention to things that are annoying like driveways full of snow.
2. - there's also a sort of poetic turn here, where the poem could be a commentary on like, there's lots of poems about raindrops - it's become cliche, so why do people write about it, if people care so little about it - this fits better with the title being "controversially" - because it pokes fun at people who would use metaphors like rain in their poetry, and ask them to maybe consider that what's important is less delicate and more clunky (literally and figuratively).
^^ if the second is the interpretation you were going for, I think it might be interesting if you did a more drawn out version of this - where you really lean into the clicheness of the rain drops even more and then make the final stanza more direct too.
I'm curious to hear your thoughts on both of those.
You might draw out the contrast more between the delicate raindrops and drive ways full of snow with italics or different formatting / because the only difference right now in form is the hyphen that adds a bit of clunkyness to the last stanza.
Flow
Overall if you read this poem as a sentence, I think that the word "may" and "just" get in the way.
"Can you imagine how little the average person cares about raindrops carefully falling off petals and drive-was full of snow?"
sounds less clunky in my mind than
"can you imagine how little the average person may care about rain drops carefully falling off petals and just drive - ways full of snow".
This might be too much, but I also wondered for a bit why the dash at the end is like uncompleted. There's a little break in there if you look closely "___________ ____"
- is that supposed to signify road lines, a drive way with snow in the gap, is the hyphen between "drive" and "ways" the missing link? So many options, or maybe it was just a typo. I think if you intended it to be imagery I'd put a complimentary one at the top so that readers are forced to see it.
Overall it's a thoughtful little piece, but not one that I think I've "solved" as far as meaning yet.
-alliyah
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