Hey there! This poem is beautiful. You are able to clearly show not just the story but also the emotions of your work.
I personally feel there are two very different types of poetry, one is a little less straight forward and could be called more 'complex'. This poem is the second type where you don't go around the subject but write about it clearly and name it clearly. Sometimes people see this as a simpler and easier way to write, but I disagree with seeing that be that open and real with your thought can be just as difficult. Additionally when done right there is still plenty of ways to make it 'complex'. Anyway, you were able to do everything perfectly for this type of poem, making it a heartful read.
My only nitpick/suggestion (which you can totally ignore if you wish) is the format. I personally find this the hardest part of poetry and although I liked some parts of yours it also seemed to take away from the poem. The biggest problem is the way you split your stanzas into lines. I personally felt they were oddly placed and it took away from the flow. There is nothing wrong with splitting a sentence when writing poetry but where you split it still changes the way its read because there will be a small pause before the next line is read. I think reading this aloud yourself, or getting someone else to read it aloud would help you see where the pauses are good and where they might need adjusting.
Overall this is a wonderful piece of writing and I hope to see more works like it.
Sláinte -Junel
Points: 3592
Reviews: 151
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