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18+ Language Mature Content

#22

by LadyBird


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.


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65 Reviews


Points: 168
Reviews: 65

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Sat Jan 12, 2019 4:31 pm
Cloudkid wrote a review...



ok i guess i'm gonna review this because i love you and i love this poem

first off i really really like the second stanza, set apart from the rest because it shows a fear that's a bit different than the overall theme of the poem. i like the imagery of the subject being the 'duct tape' for your mistakes. The stanza shows your fear of not wanting to mess whatever it is you have with the subject up. i also love that it starts out with the one word, 'sweetheart', setting up the theme of the poem and making it very clear who the poem is addressed to.

i also really love the juxtaposition of what you want vs. what the subject of the poem wants. the single line, 'fuck', both what the subject wants and an exclamation.

I don't really have any suggestions for you on how to make this better, but maybe i'm biased haha. as always with your poetry, this was a delight to read, especially because it's about me :)

of course keep writing,

oliver <3




User avatar
65 Reviews


Points: 168
Reviews: 65

Donate
Sat Jan 12, 2019 2:32 pm
Cloudkid says...



i do absolutely love this <3





If it wasn't for poetry, I couldn't express myself.
— Rosendorn