I liked this overall, but it could use some cleaning up. The middle was great, the ending was solid, but in the beginning, your rhythm was a little shaky.
Also, there are a couple cliches, like "hollow feelings" and "angry tears". I think you can do better than that if you try. Make the picture of your feelings a little more interesting, like you do throughout the poem.
On a final critique-y note, you way over-use commas. If you would use them that way in prose, then leave it. If not, take it out.
Aside from those things, great job! I especially loved this part:
Would you be able to push on,
seeing me tremble for want of your arms
wrapped around my neck,
and your lips whispering in my ear,
assuring me that you’re here to stay?
Points: 36224
Reviews: 1275
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