Some guy asked me out today,
got some cheap roses in his hands
and cheaper words on his tongue.
Thinking he’d cover up the callousness
of his all too thin wallet, with a bunch
of flowery sentimentality.
Thinks he’s the gentleman now.
He grins proudly, the buds in his hands.
They cost half of his weekly income but they’re still
only the cheapest in the store.
And yet he presents them proudly, like
I’m supposed to swoon now.
He’s got soot on his cheek, and sweat on his brow.
His jeans are all grimy, with holes at the knees,
and he blew all his cash on a bouquet of
wilting greenery.
Like I’d fall for that kind of thing.
Oh honey, if you’d given me the money instead,
I’d have said yes.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
Ha! I love this.
I feel sort of bad for the dude though, I mean he tried and in the end he was turned down. Well, there are people like that out in the world, I mean he tried right?
Oh well, it was funny yet gave people something to think about in the end. Wonderful job!
~Pink
Sass. Haha. That's a new thing to say about poetry.
Narcissistic. hmm... Unfortunately, I have to write an autobiography for my English class and must free myself of narcissism, else my autobiography will be indigestible.
) But really, it's more about materialism rather than pride and vanity. Thanks though, good people.
hey... i like the bizzare end of ur lil poem...
They way the pride changes to pathetic pitiness.gives a comical end....
kudos!! cheers...nice work!
Thought it was a great poem, very narcisistic but in an empowering kind of way. Love the way she rejects him but very superficial aswell. Overall a great poem , funny.
This is pretty much perfect. I love the sass to it. Good job!
GRADE: A
I like it!!
It really striked a nerve for me. It shows a little bit of integrity in the male. You wrote him to be proud of what he has, and give whatever he can give.
Yet you still turned him down.
Great story! This will really stop people and make them think about their lives!