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18+ Language

Tik-Tok

by Kledja


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.

Tik-Tok 

I open my eyes after going in my own world and I notice a group of people laughing,some others screaming and playing,singing and suddenly my eyes stop to an old clock. I started to look at her and noticed that it was dusty,old but if you washed it it will be like Mona Lisa a precious anthic staying in a closet , waiting to be found,to be seen. But this clock was different it played with my mind or eyes or heart it took everything and nothing at the same time. In every Tik I watched as my life continued moving but my legs was in one place. I mean what the fuck was her problem singing to my ear tik-tak and reminding me that she was there,watching me. I dont want this stupid song anymore so I put on my earphones,close my eyes and listen to lady Lana Del Rey and her platonic earthy lyrics. Press play and “Born to Die” begins, what an irony don’t you think just tik-tok on your way.


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112 Reviews

Points: 9184
Reviews: 112

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Mon Feb 05, 2024 3:14 am
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Ley wrote a review...



Hello! Just a quick little review from your YWS neighborhood fairy: Ley! :D

I really just have suggestions on formatting for this piece, as I'm not quite sure of the context of the content: being as it's categorized as an 'essay'.

I would recommend separating this block of text into multiple different pieces, that way it's more aesthetically pleasing to the eye. It was somewhat hard to read and/or understand. This is just a suggestion, though! :)

There were a couple grammar mistakes I caught, but Aliah covered most of them so I won't mention them. As for content, I really did enjoy your use of descriptive language and suspenseful themes. It made for a very interesting read! Overall, I can't wait to read more of your work in the future! Happy Writing!

With Love, Ley <3




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12 Reviews

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Sat Feb 03, 2024 8:45 pm
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AJW says...



You were right, I am a curious type...




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270 Reviews

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Wed Jan 31, 2024 5:45 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

Let's get right into the review! As you stated, I guess I am the curious type, because this definitely caught my attention :D

The use of TikTok makes me interpret this piece as being an essay that describes the effect of social media on a person's life. In my interpretation, it speaks about how social media can capture our attention and make us feel like we are doing things, (like moving and getting stuff done) but we are actually just still and stuck in our own minds.

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

laughing,some others screaming and playing,singing and suddenly my eyes stop to an old clock.


Adding spaces after your commas would be really helpful here. So before the words singing and some.

she was there,watching me


my earphones,close my eyes


dusty,old


And right here too :)

I also recommend adding a content warning for cursing since you used some language. Overall this was great and got me thinking a lot!

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

I loved this line so much:

But this clock was different it played with my mind or eyes or heart it took everything and nothing at the same time.


I feel that this describes social media and different aspects of its addictiveness, but also usefulness, really well. Not just a clock that we see on the wall, but it is something that ticks in our minds and our entire well-being as a whole.

Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

This essay got me thinking more deeply about my social media use. It is true, that we become robots while using social media. I think this piece had some great comparisons and was fast-paced, which let me take in a lot at once. Overall, I enjoyed it and got a lot from this. Thanks for posting :D

Your friend,
Ellie


I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!





Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here.
— Neil Gaiman