Published June 17, 2010
This is my first song written in years.
Its really based on something that happened to me
So, yeah
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139,404 Literary Works • 672,552 Reviews
I'm agreeing with the last post about the "lovely, lovely" part of the song. It doesnt seem to fit in very well.
Now format: I cant find the chorus. Now the chorus is suppose to be the hook of the lyrics and it repeats but all I see that repeats is "lovely, lovely" and it doesnt look as it fits! Also spaces between verses are needed. Other than that I love the verses, you metaphors and what-not is good. Keep writing!
Hey KitxKat, I'll try to review this since this has no reviews yet! One thing I cannot really critique you on is the format; I simply do not know how to correctly format lyrics. I'll leave that to somebody else.
I found only one big correction, which is on your use of 'lovingly, lovingly'. I understand that it is both the theme and the title of this song, but this song would be much better if each line of 'lovingly, lovingly' fit in with every part that contains it. It just sounds so strange when you basically say: 'You're the one who wants my love. Lovingly, lovingly.'. Doesn't that sound so awkward? Right.
Well, hope I helped! Keep on writing-
KD