Published October 18, 2007
Because you are part
of their family tree, they
think they can prune you.
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Canary word: Present
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142,215 Literary Works • 676,903 Reviews
I like this. Short and to the point. Although is the comma in the second line necessary? I read it better without it, so I was unsure. ^^
Yes. I like this quite a bit. Nice work, love.
It's got both meaning and an extended metaphor! Oh the fulfillment of requirements for being good.
*Hearts* Le Penguin.
It's a brilliant Senryu, much better than any I've written and there have been a few. The imagery is pleasant, it's thought provoking and it's certainly humorous.
I do agree that it would look very good on a T-shirt but that's beside the point.
Lol. This is really great. The form was perfect, and this is just pure brilliance. I wish I could say something a bit more helpful but I really can't fault this. A very clever piece, and I think this form suited your content perfectly. I liked the irony of dicsussing the "family tree" through haiku, given that it's usually a nature poem, so that this ended up falling, to my mind at least, between haiku and senryu. Anyway, I'm rambling now, so I'll sum up by saying that you did a really great job on this and I immensely enjoyed reading it.
Short, lovely, a wonderful senryu, Kit ^_^
Okay I would of done this earlier but I couldn't be bothered to be honest. So now I'm on a critqueing spree. I like this short, simple and true. I love the idea and how you lay it out perfectly oh and welcome back Bent. Glad you rejoined us
. Anyway great poem and nothing wrong I find.
Good luck VSN
I suppose the word haiku doesn't mean much to many of you. I enjoyed this, and I'm glad to see the haiku form infused with such wit.
*blinks* Did I miss something? This is way short, but I totally understand the beauty of a short poem. Very powerful statement, but I think it's more like a quote than a poem. This is intriguing; it draws the reader in but then slams them into a wall. I think this could be longer. Still, it's a tender, beautiful image, and good job!
alot of meaning , in such a short space. i like it
Short but sweet.
And a good idea. It doesn't really feel like a poem, though, more like one of those little sayings you see on T-shirts and people's signatures.
Too true.