Published April 27, 2011
Trumpter Rory Foxton, MBE,
pulls on his mottled ugg-boots with a grunt,
he didn't let them dry from last night, see,
the stitching's rotted right through at the front.
He takes the short cut clear across the park,
the ground is worn through from habitual tread.
It's 3am, but even in the dark
he's memorised, each time, the way ahead.
He plays beneath the window of the man
for whom his wife of twenty years left him.
The man sleeps through, his new wife lays a plan
to tear her former husband limb from limb.
His song reminds her, take the digitalis;
It is a curdled love, fermented malice.
(N.B. To save you the google, digitalis is heart medication. Thanks, lilymoore for the genius contest topic)
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140,662 Literary Works • 673,584 Reviews
Hi there!
Just to let you know, I'm not much of a poet, so don't be offended, but I was really confused. I read it and re-read it, but I still don't really understand what you're trying to say, or if there's a story going on, what it is exactly.
It sounded cool, with the rhymes and all, but I just didn't really get it. Nice try though.
Hi there!
Just to let you know, I'm not much of a poet, so don't be offended, but I was really confused. I read it and re-read it, but I still don't really understand what you're trying to say, or if there's a story going on, what it is exactly.
It sounded cool, with the rhymes and all, but I just didn't really get it. Nice try though.
Hello Kit!
I'm afraid I don't have much to say! I quite enjoyed this poem, the flow was wonderful, and the description combined with the variable vocabulary was refreshing. I thought the theme to be different, or at least the view of the poem, and it was a nice read, and the voice made it even more comfortable and entertaining. Over all, I don't think there's anything wrong with it xD
For some reason, the flow there seems sketchy.
And that is it! Sorry this isn't much help, but it's good to know you're doing it right? ;D
- Kat
haha nice!