Break my psychadelic waves of nausea,
bringing me back to the surface,
spluttering and coughing up
so many multi-coloured dreams.
This comes off as something one would write on a high or about a high - it seems somewhat unessary to me, but it's a lovely part so if it does have a reason to you, then leave it there. In any case, it's a needed space between the opener and the next stanza.
proof that things
never stay the same.
I think you should rephrase it. It's too close to the opener, it sounds redundant to me.
becasue things never stay the same.
because
Don't keep arguing
This is passive and awkward. Say "stop arguing"
that no-one
dares to shed.
Memories, no-one
replace a no-one.
and avoid tearing holes
in our lives.
Pretty, but how does their actions achieve this. Things don't line up.
So they drink earl grey tea
sometimes after midnight.
Completely unneeded, and I think the ending would be better without those two lines.
He who dares wins
sixteen ounces
of sugar-coated sins,
the only evidence
is a betrayal
of light through the curtain.
The subject of this sentance was "he". What ever happend to him?
Twisting and turning,
like it's nothing new,
while I'm still learning,
forever sighing, hoping life
won't betray you
with it's honey-sweet lies.
Who is "you"? What happened to "he"?
You tied it up in the ending, but there are some loose ends and all in all you needed to be less vague and avoid forcing rhymes. You have a good selection of poetry here, so I think with a bit of refinement you can improve it oustandingly.
Thanks people! 
Points: 890
Reviews: 688
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