The Seekers: Chapter 2 ~Kinsley~

Adam

I burst through Genevieve’s secondary chamber doors and march straight up to her desk where she sits, apparently not surprised with my arrival so soon after the meeting. She calmly folds her hands together and lays them on her desk.

“Ah, Adam,” She says, “just the one I needed to see. There has been a change-”

“You can’t do this to her,” I interrupt, pointing to the door. “The goddess herself will be there. Elizabeth will get killed!” I am quickly getting angry over Genevieve’s decision to place Elizabeth on the mission.

“We are all aware of the risks. I can see that you want me to send some one with her so-” I try to stop them but the words fall right out of my mouth.

“Send someone with her? Hell, I don’t want her to go at all!” I practically yell. I take a deep breath and run my fingers through my hair.

“Adam!” she says raising her voice, “Calm down. There has been a change in Elizabeth’s mission.”

“Good. Is some one more experienced going instead?” I say, finally letting her finish a sentence. I don’t know why I refuse to let her go. I admit, ever since her brother Zachary died I have been over protective of her. Maybe it’s just because she is a good friend and I don’t want something to happen to her too. I put my hands on my hips and wait for her answer.

“No, I am not sending someone to replace her. This mission will still be Elizabeth’s.

“No way! I won’t let her go!” I protest.

“I know how you feel, Adam. You and I both know how important she is to us, especially now. That’s why I have decided to send you with her.” Her words stun me for a second.

“Why are you sending me? I can’t fight Eris,” I finally say.

“Isn’t it obvious?” At first I think I see her smile but she continues. “Look, Adam, I know you will do everything in your power to protect Elizabeth. She has been trained well. Now go, you must tell Elizabeth of your roll in her upcoming mission.”

As I walk down the empty marble hallways of Genevieve’s enormous chambers I can’t help but wonder about what she said to me and what she meant by it. I am reluctant to trust myself to protect her but I guess I have no choice. I listen to the rhythmic thudding of my feet on the floor. I close my I eyes and Elizabeth’s image swims before them. I can see her beautiful smile and those stormy green eyes that sparkle like emeralds. I picture that mass of luxurious, dark curls flowing around like silk. Her skin, so pale and smooth. Suddenly, a warm hand grips my shoulder. I snap my eyes open and whirl around to find Elizabeth standing behind me. I blush and I’m grateful she can’t read my mind.

“Hey, Adam. What are you doing here so late?” she asks.

“Hello, Elizabeth. Nothing, I’m just looking around,” I lie. I don’t want her to know that I’m being overprotective again. She frowns at my words and narrows her eyes. She knows I’m lying, of course, but that’s fine. At least she doesn’t know the truth. She’ll think I’m suffocating her with my brotherly instincts. But with her hand on my shoulder, my instincts are anything but brotherly. I try to change the subject.

“Why are you here so late? Shouldn’t you be at home getting rest before your mission?” I ask.

“I know, but I’m so scared. I have to fight Eris! What am I going to do?” Her lip quivers as if she is about to cry. She looks so frightened. It takes every ounce of energy I have to keep me from reaching out to hold her.

“Don’t worry,” I say reassuringly, “You have been taught to deal with immortals. Besides, Genevieve just told me that I am to accompany you on your mission.” She breaks into a huge grin and moves to hug me.

“Oh, thank you so much, Adam!” she says. Against my better judgment, I take her into my arms. The moment I do, I realize my good friend assumption was completely wrong. I would do anything to protect her. I hold her for longer than what seems necessary and she starts to look uncomfortable. Finally, I step back and just look at her. I can tell my actions are registering in her mind and she looks uneasy. I back away quickly and clear my throat. I can’t let her know how I feel. How will I face her in tonight’s mission? I can’t stay. I search my brain for a good excuse to leave but I can’t come up with much.

“Uh, Elizabeth? I have to go. Go home and act like usual. See you tonight,” I say as I back away. Anger flashes through her eyes because she knows I’m lying again. She reaches her arm out to me. I take a step backwards and turn to run. My arms pump at my side while the pounding of my footsteps echo through the halls.

“Where are you going? Adam, wait!” she yells. I ignore her pleas and keep running. I run down the mountain and head for home. I trip on a fallen tree branch on my way down but I stumble up and keep running. Pain explodes in my face but I don’t stop until I reach my front porch. I rest my hands on my knees and try to suck in a breath of air. My thoughts drift to Elizabeth. A gut wrenching feeling enters my stomach and I get the feeling that I shouldn’t have let Elizabeth walk home alone.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Swires
Review
Swires wrote a review · Fri Jan 05, 2007 5:10 pm

I see no real reason for this to be in present tense. Present tense is usually written in to portray immeadiacy, alert or other literary ploy. THis is a story, I would rewrite and continue in the past tense.

Although there was discussion of risks etc... I wasnt captivated or interested in them. I think whats missing is atmosphere: You need to get nitty gritty into the atmosphere of a character, I want to see the sweat quiver from there lips, or the trembling lips of nervous servents etc... etc...


Happy Editing

User avatar
Esmé
Review
Esmé wrote a review · Fri Jan 05, 2007 4:29 pm

I’m a bit tired, so sorry if I omit any mistakes. I’ll be making corrections as I read, here it goes:

Quote:
Uhm… I can’t find anything to correct. Wow.


Generally I liked your story, even if it isn’t my type. I just didn’t find it interesting, but that just might be me.

As to the time in which you are writing in… You chose present, which is a really hard time to write in and is very tricky. I would suggest that you change it to past, but since your doing such a good job at present, don’t change anything.

Keep up the good work!

-elein



Patience is the strength of the weak, impatience is the weakness of the strong.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher