Ok, giving them a one line reply telling them that you hate it, isn't going to help. Why dont you show her which lines where cheezy and what to do with them, or dont say shit at all.
we lie in our beds late at night
and watch the videos that give us a fright
The second line there sounds like you just put it there so something could rhyme with night. I think your smarter and could come up with a better line than that. Like "looking at the moon, oh what a site" or w.e.
We are friends, we are bestfriends
We will be friends till the end of all ends
These lines here mean the same thing. And there in the same place. You got a bit to repetive there.
This poem was pretty cheezy put with some work it does have a bit of potential. Good Luck with it.
Points: 890
Reviews: 49
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