I Want

Hello.

First thing that I want to say is that this is all just my opinion as a reader and that you can ignore everything I am writing if you want to because it is your work and your work should be a reflection of how you feel, Anyways, onto the review.

This is a very nice poem. The only thing that really got me was the lack of capitalization at the end. The whole this is beautiful and then there is just two lower case "i"s sitting at the end waiting to through the reader off guard. There are also some unnecessary spaces between some words and commas.

As g1ldv wrote, I too believe that there was some struggle when reading this. It is very repetitive, which I understand is a writing technique, but I don't think you executed it properly. With a few minor tweeks, I think you could fix that right up.

This is a great poem. Good job. I think you did really well and I think the message in this poem is written very clear.

Good morning, afternoon, or goodnight whenever you are reading this KimberlyAlexis! So first off I just want to say that I am not a professional so my critiques may not be the best, but onto the poem! So I want to start out by saying that this poem struck a lot of chords in me as I feel that it was everywhere in terms of your ideas and what you said, and I feel that because of that you were able to really connect to the reader emotionally. Something that I struggled with was reading it, as though there was punctuation I feel that there wasn't really a certain way to read it that left me having to repeat myself at times though that could also work to your advantage. Also a very teeny tiny small detail and I may be wrong, but in the 3rd line. Instead of "the precious things of life" I believe it is " the precious things in life". So finally I actually really enjoyed this poem and can't wait to see more!

~g1ldv

Hello, Tulip here to give you a review on your poem "I want".

First before I start with anything else in this review, I highly suggest that you change your title from "I WANT" to "I Want" or "I want". Either way it will be better because then it won't seem like it is screaming to your readers.

I am going to be honest here. The way you have the poem formatted made it hard to read past the first few lines, which usually isn't a problem. But I think the formatting is what got to me here. I got lost trying to figure out what went where so I am going to give you some advice on how I think your poem can be broken down into and any changes I think are neccesary for it. I do say this, the suggestions that I am going to put down aren't what you need to do unless you want to.