Come Back To Normal

The idea of this poem is strong, but there are a few flaws with the presentation that diminish the quality of this poem. I can see the direction you were going in, and the message is clear, but there are some things you should look at and revise.

Why things are they way they are, i have no answers for.
Sometimes i wish i could forget, just walk away, shut the door.
Come back to normal..

The end of this stanza does not make sense. Everything leading up to it does not show things that are abnormal, or things that are screwed up. The beginning of this poem is a bit vague. What are you walking away from? Who are you walking away from? These questions are things that run through my mind when I read this. Some of the other questions are answered in the poem, but you do not give a good sense of why in the beginning. This would be okay if it got much better throughout the poem, but there was not much improvement beyond this stanza. Also, always capitalize the I's in if they refer to first person.

The things you say, i want to believe you,
The things you do lead me to believe less then a few
I just want you to turn around every once in a while
Turn around and reconcile...
Come back to normal..

This stanza has the most potential to show the emotion this poem needs, but does not adequately portray it. What does this person say? How do those things make you feel? The part in red somewhat shows that, but in all honesty does not. It is not a sufficient way to show the feeling. And I do not know if these double periods are intentional, but they seem to be, and that should not be that case. Double periods have no significance, and are just grammatically wrong.

You seem to have many people to blame
But your problems you should claim..
Its always he said and she said never what you said
Stop and take a look around, you'll notice your problems weigh us down like lead
Come back to normal..

I do not like this stanza at all. This does not seem like poetry at all, just a statement, and a weak statement at that. This could be vastly improved by showing the problems, and describing in full what they are.

You may not notice the effect you have on me
I wish you could be the daddy that i wanted you to be.
Stop doing the things that you say you dont do
Maybe look at me and say "I love you too.."
Come back to normal

I want you to be my bestfriend again
Never leave me crying in the rain
You need help, more then i can give
I will help as much as i can but in the end, I just want you to live
Please.....
Come back to normal..

These two stanzas should be the most emotional, and emphatic, but lack that necessary emotion, which also not present throughout the poem. Also, what is in red should be in bold because all the others that repeat the title are.

Overall, I thought this poem has a great concept, but is poorly executed. There lacks a certain set of emotions, and moreover, there seems to be a lack of it throughout. Some grammatical mistakes also diminished this piece. My suggestion is to read this poem out loud, and add detail and emotion where necessary. If that is not done, then this piece's flow will simply be off, and the overall piece simply ineffective, and unimpressive.

Regards,
dante93

I am not going to touch on grammar or wording as it is my major problem in writing.
I enjoy this poem. One thing i love about your poem is you make it rhythm .

Why things are they way they are, i have no answers for.
Sometimes i wish i could forget, just walk away, shut the door.

'Why things are they way they are,'
I think it should be The

The message i can see from your poem is generally about the relationship between a son and his father.
In my opinion, you should use Father instead of Daddy. It sounds more poetic to me. But its only my opinion and it depends on you. By the way, thanks for commenting my poem.