Bird

by KelsRich1

Published June 27, 2011

I want to be a bird.
Nothing would make me happier,
Than to fly away.
To open my wings and soar through the heavens,
gliding on air and
That wild elation you get;
That makes you feel invincible
I want to be a bird.
I want to fly away,
and never come back.

Comments & reviews · 6
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UnderTheStars Comment
UnderTheStars commented Comment · Jul 5, 2011

This was great, but like stated earlier, only problem was the punctuating/capitolizing. Great sense of emotion.

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PoeticGlow
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PoeticGlow wrote a review Review · Jul 5, 2011

Touching poem, KelsRich1! This is very reminiscent of Kelly Clarkson's song, "Breakaway"; I like how this poem reminds me of it! I see you already fixed your punctuation errors, so I have nothing to critique for you!

Other then that, my favorite lines were this:

"That wild elation you get;
That makes you feel invincible
I want to be a bird.
I want to fly away,
and never come back."

Keep it up!

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cammie
Review
cammie wrote a review Review · Jul 5, 2011

Hi there! Here is, as promised, the reveiw of your entry to my contest. I think your poem was a great start. Maybe you want to make it longer, or add a few more details, but the concept was great, and even though it is worn out you gave it a new light in this poem. I couldn't find any bad things about it. So, great job and keep writing.
-Cammie

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Mikkiestash
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Mikkiestash wrote a review Review · Jun 27, 2011

I like this because I know this = your emotions. That's what poetry is all about! Emotion. I agree with the other comments. Fix the highlighted things. I really like this. Keep it coming! Write your feelings in a notebook or something and great poems will be born :D Keep it up :)

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freewritersavvy
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freewritersavvy commented Comment · Jun 27, 2011

This is very cute. It could definitely use some work but that is the magic of writing. Fix the things Ignatius5453 mentioned and that will help a lot.
Well done, and as always,
Keep Writing,
~FW~

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Ignatius5453
Review
Ignatius5453 wrote a review Review · Jun 27, 2011

I want to be a bird.
Nothing would make me happier,
Thant to fly away. than
To open my wings and soar through the heavens,
gliding on air and
what wild elation you get;
That makes you feel invincible.
I want to be a bird.
I want to fly away,
and never come back

It wasn't bad, just needed some fixing in the punctuation and capitalization department, but other than that, it was awesome. I loved that it was short, easy to read, but still had something meaningful inside of it. Keep up the good work, Keep Writing!



Poetry is my cheap means of transportation. By the end of the poem the reader should be in a different place from where he started. I would like him to be slightly disoriented at the end, like I drove him outside of town at night and dropped him off in a cornfield.
— Billy Collins