a monster's dilemma

Hello there! To begin, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. I can relate to a lot of the strong emotions that you portrayed. Let's jump right into the review and not waste any time!

First of all, I know you mentioned that this happened to you in real life, so if you have injure a situation like this, I am really sorry that you had to go through that. In my interpretation, this poem seems to be about a person who really hurt you a lot. Perhaps a man or someone that you either loved or really cared about. I get that assumption because of some of the words that you use like "handsome". There are so many verses that I want to interpret here, but I'm going to stick with some of my favorites.

To a point of no recognition, it is not you,
A monster that feasted on my bitter blood.
Rather, I have become one and snapped
Bones, muscles, nerves, and even souls.

I love this image of a person becoming a monster. A literal monster, because of all the pain that they inflicted. But it's not only them, you state that it's also you who has become this monster. You state breaking and snapping bones and muscles and nerves, and even souls. I sense a feeling of deep regret. Perhaps anger for what this person is made you become as well. One thing that I really liked was in that very first line. You state "it is not you". I love the simplicity of this. But it feels like a genuine realization filled with a lot of emotion as well.

We think, speak, and act the same,
Like the ones with pink triangles of death.
So hold my hand, O handsome abomination,
Let us walk together and tear the world apart.

The last stanza really got my attention as well. Throughout the poem, I assumed that this person was going to leave this other person and want to stay away from them because of the pain that they inflicted. But this last stanza seems to shine a different light on the situation. It's almost like they want to stay together and inflict the pain on other people. It's so interesting to me. You realize that you have become so much like someone that you can't leave them. You're no longer the person you were when you met them. Perhaps a person full of light enjoy. I really like the energy and the imagery, especially in the last 2 lines. I said earlier, I really like the simplicity of your words, but the powerful impact.

Overall, thank you for writing this fantastic poem, and I can't wait to read more of yours in the future!

Your friend,
Ellie

Hai :3

This is so intense and dark, I love it!! The mix of biblical and mythological references with the personal, emotional struggle really gives this so much depth ~~ Like, seriously, there's so much going on here, and it works so well. It’s not just about secrets, it’s about power and knowledge. It feels like there's something cosmic and apocalyptic, especially with references like Gehenna and the empty throne!! It's giving like questioning faith or trust in someone / something that promised so much, but just doesn’t deliver. That's so real and I know it's straight from the heart!!

Your exploration of identity and the transformation into a monster is so perfect!! It's like you’re diving into the way someone’s cruelty and neglect can transform a person into something they didn’t expect, but instead of seeing that as a loss, you turn it into power. There's also a twisted romance to it, in a way. It feels like embracing the monstrous, the unacceptable, and turning it into unity with this person who is both the cause and companion of the change. That's so neat!!

I am your Alcor, vague from naked eye

I was so obsessed when I hit this line!! Alcor is a dim, almost invisible star, right? That’s such a perfect metaphor for being overlooked or misunderstood while still being present. It ties in beautifully with the theme of being vague or unseen by those who should see ~~ Like, that's such a brutal but poetic way to talk about willful ignorance or blindness. It really made me think about a new perspective!!

We think, speak, and act the same,
Like the ones with pink triangles of death.

I love this !!!

The pink triangle is such a powerful and historically loaded symbol. By using it in this context, you're invoking a lot of heavy and painful history about persecution and marginalization. It's so beautiful here!! That said, it’s such a heavy symbol that it risks overwhelming the surrounding metaphors; there is no real background in the poem besides abstract ideas and metaphors. I think you could ground it more in tangible experiences or the sensations the narrator felt. Something to hold onto.

^^^ Another related comment: You’ve got these powerful symbols (Gehenna / the empty throne / Alcor), but they float a little above the emotional core of the poem. There are moments where I feel disconnected from what the narrator is feeling because I'm too busy trying to piece together the metaphors. The whole poem is something of a reclamation of your identity, but I don't feel anything that calls on who you are as a person ~~ It's all just metaphors packed onto metaphors.

Overall, though, this is haunting, bitter, tragic, and beautiful, all rolled into one!! I love when I can feel a transformation, like what this poem has!! ^_^

- Payton