Young Writers Society

Amazing!

Yeah. Sure. Ok.

You... You.... You just like said my life, like a huge aspect of it. Chocolate. Like OMG, I'm so glad you wrote this, and I'm like obsessed with chocolate.

This poem is like perfect and I don't really have any nitpicks to point out.

I really love the rhyme scheme. It's great. I really hope you write more like this!

I also want to say...

CHOCOLATE IS LIFE. YOU ARE MY IDOL!! (For loving chocolate)!

Keep up the fantastic writing,
Love,
Dogs <3

Yay, I'm glad this is such a great hit. Chocolate is the best.

I like how well you rhymed the words and I was wondering if you could make a longer version.
Chocolate.Chocolate.Chocolate.

i thought that this was a great poem that showed how much you really enjoy chocolate in all of your foods. there are a few things that i think might really help this poem the first is that
It fills me up a lot
does not fit it kind of goes with the end line but if you could change those two it would help. it starts to make sense at the end but before that i was just confused. i also wonder about the end line when it says how much have you got it doesn't really make it clear why you are asking i can guess that it is chocolate but if you could make that more clear that would be great.

Hey Keepwriting! CHRISSY321 here to review your little clever poem.

I saw this when it was first posted, and then I was like "I got to check this out!" Then when I came back later, I saw that you posted the link on my wall, which made it even easier! XD So here I am!

Now, I think that this poem is just too funny. It is definitely a poem that keeps things short and sweet! Haha, get it, sweet? Poem about chocolate? FINE, I will go back to reviewing. XD Anyway, I do think that the is a great poem, and I think it is awesome that you were able to keep it short, but made it feel complete. I have noticed that many short poems lack the feeling of completion, and a solid ending, but here, you did it! Great job!

Now, I really do not have anything to pick on. I would agree and just say that you should keep the rhyme scheme going and keep it even, but honestly in my opinion it is not the end of the world!

With this line though, I would change it:

Caramel's great,

Vanilla too,

Chocolate's fabulous,

And you know it's true.

Hey there, Keepwriting! Caterpickle here to review this little poem.

The length was nice and refreshing, because sometimes, I find this super long poems, where the write just reiterates their point, like, a million times. But, this poem is so short, that it's a quick, fun read, and it makes for a quick, fun review!

The first four lines flow very well, and the rhyming scheme is on point and consistent. I would only advise against using the word chocolate in the poem itself, because, since you put it as the title, the word can kind of shatter the vibe of the poem. If you let he reader infer that the poem is talking about literal chocolate, then it will have more of a peaceful, satisfying feel to it. Just my opinion. Instead of "Chocolate's fabulous," you could put, "Dark is fabulous," as another flavor of chocolate.

The last four lines, however, don't have as flowing if a rhyming pattern. After rereading it, it is a very, extremely similar patter to the first four lines, but not quite the same, and I'll tell you why. The first four line go as follows:

Rhyme A,
Rhyme B,
Rhyme C,
Rhyme B.

A and C, or "great" and "fabulous" don't rhyme, which is ok—and actually good—because you have the two B's that rhyme perfectly. It gives the first half of your poem more diversity, and it makes for a better read. The second half goes like this:

Rhyme A,
Rhyme B,
Rhyme A,
Rhyme B.

Here, both the A's and the B's rhyme, which makes for a bit of loping, tired feeling. There is not much pep or diversity in this half, which is an easy fix, but it can be a costly mistake.

The whole poem was pretty good, and I love the theme. Chocolate is the best. I hope this review will be helpful to you to tweak your poem into perfection!

~Caterpickle

This is a really good short poem. I tend not to write short poetry, but you wrote this very well. I like the way you made a full circle around what you were trying to say. And the rhyming was almost subconscious. I didn't even notice it until I went and read it again. It's very cute. Excellent job. I would tell you how to make it better except that I can't find anything wrong with it.

CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!! -Spongebob Reference

But besides that, nice rhyming and good choice of words. Almost made me want to eat my computer....Almost...

This is such a good, true and relatable piece of poetry, i like the references to other foods, that kind of showed how you like chocolate over all other treats. In the end it all made sense and finished the circle that began which is what any good piece of poetry or a story should do.