energy

Hey there KazeyBear and Happy Review Day! It's just Lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

I know that I'm late to the show and these things have probably all been picked over before but I figured why not. The biggest thing that I spit right off the bat, is the flow, or the lack of it. People often pass around the idea that poetry doesn't need to follow grammar rules but not quite accurate. (And the inconsistencies with the periods at the bottom kind of hurt the idea.). The ends of the lines either drag too much and are in need of commas. Or they rush by too quickly before giving the whole effect and would be better served with the addition of a period.

The final lines to the poem throw some unseen emphasis into the mix which I guess explains the rest of the poem. Everything is brought to a very nice close of tying all the strings together but it still doesn't sit right with me. I think it's because the other stanzas were so full of energy, that this plain-ish conclusion just seemed out of place.
Not really sure where I'm going with that but that's my feelings on the subject.

That discussion of focused imagery in mind, I'm just going to go ahead and move it to overall. The transfer of energy between the two characters being so powerful to shift tectonic plates, is a fun thing to play with. This comparison got me to stick around for a bit longer and pay more attention to the work. The tsunami comparison was also very touching (think that's the right word for the occasion).

Overall it's a very cool poem and I thought it was fun. But the lack of flow threw me off and that's why I'm definitely suggesting adding some punctuation. Besides that, I really don't have anything else to say. Gonna head out now.
Have a nice day.
~Lady Lizz

Hello! I really enjoyed reading this poem. I especially like the idea of metaphorical earthquakes and tsunamis wreaking havoc on a body, with the metaphorical tectonic plates shifting. Maybe you could even extend it further and have metaphorical continental drift? I think the last stanza could be stronger. The rest of the stanzas use imagery and rhetorical language, while the last stanza is all abstractions. Obviously its your call as the author. Hope to read more of your writing!

Hello, Kazeybear! VegasLights here to give you a review!

Overall, I really loved the theme and comparisons that you gave throughout the poem. Your title completely matched the poem which made me happy. You know when you see a poem and the tile and the actual poem doesn't match up at all? I hate that feeling, don't you? But you gave me the satisfaction of knowing you gave me what I wanted. Sorry, I don't know if that makes much sense to you. Your poem is beautiful and should be in the literary spotlight, hint hint to anyone reading this.

There was only one thing that bothered me deeply. Punctuation, I know in poems that you can break the grammar rules. But I feel as if your poem really needed them, it would gave me that more complete feeling. Yeah I am weird, I know. I just say random things that probably only make sense to me, again sorry!

I agree with Keumgan on the last stanza. It has perfect punctuation and everything! Well here comes the end of this review! I hope you have a great day and I thank you for your time!

~Keep Writing!~

VegasLights
(Previously Steam1244)

Hello! Keumgan here for a review!

Overall I find your poem quite interesting. I love the use of tectonic plates, earthquakes, and other elements of nature, to describe the intense feelings you are experiencing.

The only thing that bugs me is the lack of capital letters and punctuation. I'm assuming you did that on purpose, and I'm interested in knowing why, since you did use both capitalization and punctuation in your last stanza. Speaking of which, that last stanza is great. Four strong statements. I love your poem!