Young Writers Society

Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.

That having been said:


Thanks for sharing this story about a mentally disturbed cat that can reason as humans do and who needs to belong. The story speaks of an initiation ritual which is common to some gangs. Some require that the initiate subject himself to a beating by other gag members in order to demonstrate toughness. Others demand that the person inflict damage on someone else. Still others might as for a murder. But the latter are far more rare since that can lead to prison and maybe the death sentence.

A mysterious Aklanza is mentioned and the speaker tells us that she no longer is with him and that he feels scorned. A Maisey is mentioned and identified as the protagonist cat’s former owner. In short this was once a house cat raised there as a kitten who suddenly wound up on the street. The reason isn’t revealed, only that he lost his companion and now seeks membersip within a group of violent cats and finally gets it ween he kills.

I don’t find it exceedingly violent since the the evisceration isn’t described in all its gory details.

To be honest, I thought that you were using the term “cat” in the same way that people today use the word “dude”. So I at first I understood it as an indication of the time period that this is taking place and the term “cat” was in vogue.

Cat- Guy
http://www.the60sofficialsite.com/Do_Yo ... lang_.html

My, my my this is short but sweet. Like a tiny ice cream with all the flavors. Simply put you tugged at my heartstrings at the end and I remember gravely wanting Katness to not choose the path of evil but the second he sliced the cat's belly open I remember feeling a grave moment of despair an anxiety. I remember wanting and waiting for the next chapter because In my eyes there was a tiny sliver of hope that he would change. Was I right? Was I wrong? Only time may find out the answer to that question but for now I remain on the edge filled with dread. Although I do wish we could have gotten a bit more gory description of the cat's death. so far this seems to be pretty good. If you happened to remember the batman animated series from the nineties you might remember there was this one episode were the joker traced someone down and forced them to make a promise to help him in the future. Years passed and eventually the guy gets a call from joker to basically act as bait so he can capture and kill batman. This spawns a sequence of events that lead to the guy getting so fed up with the joker that he outright punches him In the gut and threatens to shoot him. Joker pleads for his life and says: "Sorry Joker I've just had one bad day" before shooting him with what is revealed to be a confetti gun. That episode instantly went into my head when I heard this story. It only takes one bad day before all hell breaks lose.
Conclusion: overall this story is depressing which is good as I'm guessing that was the purpose. This story also has a lot of heart put into it along with effort, I said this in the past but you really do seem to like giving cats human characteristics which I didn't imagine I would love until now.

Boluk out!