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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone Language

DIVERSIFICATION (A theme reinforced by Covid-19)

by Kareem Taiwo 1


It is high time we take Diversification serious. This has been suggested by many people for long but it seems nothing is working out. Nigeria has for long depended on earnings from oil exports. However, this makes us vulnerable to changes in prices of oil in world market. This is exactly the situation we face again during this Coronavirus pandemic as there is a reduction in demand for oil and subsequently a reduction In the price for it. This is much worse for a country like Nigeria that depends on oil earnings to fund its budget. For how long can we maintain such a ridiculous mono cultural economy? This is largely the reason for the inability of Nigerian government to effectively procure necessary equipments to fight the novel Coronavirus pandemic in Nigeria. This is evident in difficulties faced by most states particularly as regards creation of isolation centers and also procurement of necessary equipments like Personal Protective Equipment (PPE).

A country that really wants to develop and be self sufficient must diversify its economy and allow for multiple sources of annual income earnings. Nigerian government needs to take decisive action as regards diversification of its economy. It is a pity that in this 21st century, we still import goods that are supposed to be produced locally from metropole countries. According to Nigerian Bureau of Statitics(NBC), The value of agricultural imports in 2019 was 12.7% higher than in 2018. It is very sad that imports exceeds our exports.

Nigerian government needs take investment in other sectors like Agriculture, tourism etc seriously more than ever. Recently, the National Association of Energy Economics (NAEE) held a webinar meeting with a focus on Nigeria’s deplorable economic condition. Prof. Akin iwayemi made a comment on the Agricultural sector;

"Take holistic view of our production example in Agriculture. Add value to it and not the way it is talked about now. Nobody has evaluated CBN anchor borrowers program. If we don't change our bad behaviour, it becomes an habit"

It is so sad that Nigeria do not produce some local food commodities like sugar,wheat flour,pork,palm oil and others. President Buhari has earlier ordered the closure of border in order to boost local agriculture particularly rice. However, the manufacturing sector should further strengthened by Nigerian government. Local industries should be supported by government particularly as regards closing the technological gap in production. Also, Credits should be given to little or middle scale business in different sectors. Tourism should also be taken seriously. Nigerian government should invest more in tourist centres such as Erin Ijesha Waterfall, Oke Idanre Hill and others. New tourist centres should also be built so as to attract visitors from others countries who would love to see the beauty of our culture. South Africa makes huge money from tourism. World Travel and Tourism Council (WTTC) reveals that tourism is a major source for about 1.5 million jobs in South Africa. Our culture might seem normal to us but foreigners get fascinated with the African culture ranging from speech to dressing, historic sites and others. We could also make enormous money from tourism if given needed attention.

However, Corruption poses genuine difficulties to diversification. Corruption has eaten deep into Nigeria's socio economic and political system. Billions of Naira have been mismanaged and embezzled by self centered Nigerian politicians. Examples abound from many politicians that have looted Nigerian money. For instance, Nigeria's former minister of petroleum, Dieziani Madueke is said to have embezzled more than $20 Billion. Nigerian government needs to strengthen its anti- corruption campaign and prosecute any politician guilty of using his or her office for private or personal gain.

Diversification is the key to robust sustainable development in Nigeria. Without it, Nigeria will continue to witness multifarious problems ranging from poverty to poor health system, illiteracy, economic backwardness and many more.


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36 Reviews


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Wed Jun 03, 2020 10:36 am
mememimer wrote a review...



Hi, time to review!

First thing I want to tell you is that I learned greatly from this article. You have good points to support your arguments and suggestions. The fact that you have justified your points using data, is great.

The fourth paragraph is quite interesting. You brought out your ideas for the betterment of the country. I really like how you want the leaders to strengthen some major sectors of your economy, that is, agricultural sector and tourism. I feel like the Government needs to take strict actions to revive the economy, and pushing the small and medium scale businesses is one of them. The same paragraph consists of the world 'should' in almost every line. I suggest you to make a list of the things by numbering them.

Corruption is like cancer. It only spreads and is deadly. The Government should initiate a rigid system to curb corruption, including strict rules and rewards for those who help in reducing it. Incentives are important to lure people in the fight against corruption.

I feel that you could have emphasized more on Sustainable Development, in the last paragraph, as it is an essential topic.

Some grammatical errors you could correct are:

1. "It is high time we take Diversification serious."- 'seriously' instead of serious
2. "Nigeria has for long depended on earnings from oil exports."- lack of punctuation; "Nigeria has, for long, depended on earnings from oil exports."
3. "....reduction In the price for it." and "According to Nigerian Bureau of Statitics(NBC), The value of...." - avoid capitalization in mid sentence. Write 'in' instead of 'In' and 'the' instead of 'The' in the first and second line.
4. "Nigerian government needs to take decisive action as regards diversification of its economy." - try writing 'regarding' instead of 'as regards'.

Overall, this is an amazing piece! I want you to continue writing articles like this to help people (like me) understand about different problems faced in different countries. Thank you for writing this! Keep writing!

Best wishes,
I




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Sun May 31, 2020 8:54 am
kattee wrote a review...



Hello there!

It's an extremely political poem that points out the impediments of economic growth. It's a very interesting and informative read.

I'm going to start off with the minor errors you have in your paper.
In terms of grammar:

The word "equipment" will always remain singular (it's a rule) so there shouldn't be an "s"

However, this makes us vulnerable to changes in prices of oil in world market.


You should insert the word "the" in between the word "in" and "world."

It is very sad that imports exceeds our exports.


Remove the "s" in "exceeds" because the noun (imports) is plural and the plural form of verbs are those without an "s" (maybe you know this already, but it feels lacking if I don't add this).

Nigerian government needs take investment in other sectors like Agriculture, tourism etc seriously more than ever.


First, you should add the word "to" in between the words "needs" and "take." Second, you should add a comma and the word "and" before the word "etc" (and also a period since etc is an abbreviation) because that's an indication that it's the end of your list.

It is so sad that Nigeria do not produce some local food commodities like sugar,wheat flour,pork,palm oil and others.


Your noun, Nigeria, is a singular noun, hence you should use the word "does."

Lastly, the word "robust" in your second to the last paragraph is an adjective but you used it as a verb.

There are a lot more errors, actually, but I hope you could discern them yourself.

The aim of your essay is to persuade the readers that Nigeria needs Diversification. You've already listed out ways to enforce diversification, however, in order to persuade people you must list down how badly the country needs it. You could list down more problems posed by the pandemic, such as (This is just an example I'm not sure if this is a problem in your country), the funding of private companies that meets the daily needs of the people. Additionally, you can list down problems that have nothing to do with the COVID to emphasize on the gravity of the issue -- that it doesn't get healed by time and the government must act upon it.

That's all :) If you have more essays, feel free to ring me at my pm. I love reading non-fiction more than fiction, but it's quite rare here (especially academic ones). Keep on writing!

Best regards,
Kattee x




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Sun May 31, 2020 6:09 am
mythh wrote a review...



Hey! I'm Grav and I'll be reviewing your essay today.

Before I begin, I'd like to just acknowledge your introduction. Why? It managed to make me read every single word of this article without simply leaving it 'cause it's an essay, and that's saying something. If you just pulled that off, then your writing sure is something.

Okay... Enough of that, and let's begin already.

So I see that you start off by mentioning Nigeria's investment in just one source of economy, I.e. The oil industry, but hold on.. That's not the only problem. The problem also lies in the ratio of imports to exports, where the percentage of imports is higher, which means that the production of things in the country is generally poor, especially in the agriculture industry.

I hope I got all that right. Then there's always problems of corruption, and then you went on to mention other things that have a great potential to be a source of Nigerian economy, like tourism. Okay, great.

After you were done giving your points, the piece was concluded with a simple idea and how much the country need the idea.

This was a well planned essay. A VERY well planned essay, and the reason I summarized almost everything you said was to give you an idea of just how clear you were.

There's just one nitpick and I'm a big nitpicker ^^'

This is from the third paragraph.

Nigerian government needs take investment

You missed the "to" there. That's pretty much it.

This was a well planned and well organized and well structured piece.

Thank you for sharing this. I hope the Nigerian government sees things more openly soon. I mean all the officials in the governing body, and not just a few.

Thank you for your time.

KEEP WRITING!!!!

Yours sincerely,
Myth :D




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Sun May 31, 2020 12:20 am
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JesseWrites wrote a review...



Hello,

What I Liked:

The topic is very needed in this time to show others how it affects people. This caught it well and played it out to be educational with a purpose.

The picture was a nice add too.

What I Think Can Improve:

This is very short and could be worked from. Add some more to it and it would be much more informational.

Also, the amount of errors I caught in a dive.

Grammar:

It is high time we take Diversification serious.


Seriously is the correct tense for that. I see many tense issues, so maybe work towards fixing that.

It is a pity that in this 21st century, we still import goods that are supposed to be produced locally from metropole countries. According to Nigerian Bureau of Statitics(NBC), The value of agricultural imports in 2019 was 12.7% higher than in 2018.


Statistics is the way to spell that. Maybe use a grammar checker.

Without it, Nigeria will continue to witness multifarious problems ranging from poverty to poor health system, illiteracy, economic backwardness and many more.


Systems is another tense issue.

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