This was really good, honestly. In for a review, here I go!
I like the way you've described emotions here. The way you've caught the rhythm.
"I pray,
no answer comes.
I pray,
no miracle comes."
I really thought that this line, being the repetitive one, was simple. Too simple. Well it has its own charm and it did catch my eye. I really like the needles and liquid part, well expressed. Kudos!
I pray...I am gone. This somehow didn't fit in all too well, you could've added to it by using effective words. Here, the ending was weak though I enjoyed the beginning. Add some music to this and tada! Good job.
Keep writing and keep smiling.
xo
Points: 4091
Reviews: 118
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