Young Writers Society

Hey there!

It's review day! I'm a little worn out but seeing as this is a prologue I shall do my best. Note that this may not be much of an in depth critique but I'll try!

I'm personally a fan of science fiction stories, especially futuristic ones. Your type of story just gets me hooked and I'm all like "I want to keep reading this".

What is essentially here is the introduction of these two different groups and their viewpoints on human enhancements. We've seen many stories like this, and as cliche as the starting may seem, the actual plot might turn out to be quite original, depending on how you develop it. What I can see from here though is the cliche part, no doubt though it keeps me hooked.

I'm seeing this as a story that will further develop from this special individual and how he is different from the others. I'm rather pleased that you didn't reveal too much about him here, since it's only the prologue. However what could have been improved on was the back story. Sure you give a pretty good explanation of what the situation is, but what are the actual problems that both sides are experiencing. You say they fight, but is it an actual war or just prejudice against each other. Somehow I feel that letting these details for a prologue is pretty essential, since you won't want to throw in random bits of information during the future chapters.

Overall a good start to the novel, and I hope the further chapters will entice me just as much! Hope my review, even though it wasn't much, did help!

Hi Kakali!

I don't review much so... Yeah

I read through your prologue and one thing i really liked was the idea! I am a huge! Sci-Fi fan and i'm writing one myself.

Although i felt as if the prologue was rushed, it was too short, but in that time you did manage to tell the outline of the story, which prologues are for so i think you did that well.

Not many mistakes i see here, but i think you could of made the prologue longer that way the readers would know more specifically were and when the story is taking place. You should say those type of things in your prologue, because i don't know what country it's in or what year. I'm guessing it's in the future because Sci-Fi stories are normally based around that time haha. But it's just for the readers that don't know

Also i would've liked to know who the protaganist was.

Besides that, i really like the idea that you've got!

Please keep me notified

God bless, and see ya around!

Nator/Gin/Ima/16

The first line seemed to be tempting but thanx, I would personally be as I am.
On a serious note, the first para seemed to define the very basic line of the future and the things which could be expected in the story.
The second para, mentions the cons and pros together as it tells us the type of government. It does break the dear image of seeing oneself super hero like when it is mentioned that

These people are part of an alliance that believes that after getting the operation, it begins to break down the body, and only those who haven't “contaminated” themselves will be left to inhabit the Earth. The conflicting sides are continually at war with each other, throwing millions of people against each other.

It clearly tells how the people are still at war which is a natural thing.
The prologue is great, if only it would have been longer, I'd have loved it more.
And I think it really needed more length, for it is setting a informative platform for the readers, so for me, it lacked that bit of fullness.
Still, it's your call, if it goes well for your story, then great.
Hope my review helped!
Regards,
blakey789

Woah, this sounds very cool. I love sci-fic stories about things like this.

Hey, Kakali.
So, this is a steady, promising start to your story. I'm pretty intrigued, if I'm honest, and I like the development of the idea at hand. This proposition of 'enhancement' is rather interesting, and I want to know more about it. What does it entail? Why is it so longed for? Why does it have such a divide between support and hatred? I'm sure I'll find out.
I spotted no grammatical or punctuation errors, which is good. Generally, this piece is pretty strong.
Nevertheless, it isn't perfect. I'm going to be picky now.

Firstly:

In a distant future, everyone has the opportunity to enhance their bodies to be able to do amazing things. A person can choose to have enhancements made to themselves in two areas; body and mind. There are many types procedures that can be done, giving people different abilities. When a person turns eighteen years of age they can legally get the operation done, for a price. Those who can not afford the surgery often get it done illegally. A little over half of the population has been transformed in some way.

This disagreement has caused many arguments and wars.

But both groups have dark secrets being held from them.