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Young Writers Society



The pain of someone leaving returns

by Kaida_Wynd


Is it so strange to be angry when someone leaves you? Is it so strange to want to have them stay? The pain that comes with a person leaving is almost unbearable to someone who has felt like they have had nothing their entire life, and the only good things that have come left in the tide of a new dawn.

I cannot even begin to describe the pain that has come from this leaving. This pain, as unbearable as it is, brings back memories of the past pain that has only just receded. The dull pain in the temples of my mind, slowly edged away, now shot through the roof of my head, and causes so much anguish that it is too painful to continue as I do every day.

Their passing is complete, they are gone now, and will not return. They will not return, of that I am certain. Will I ever see them again? Will my seeing them again cause the same pain that is striking me now to come about again? Is my pain ever going to leave me alone? It takes so long for it to leave, not even a year has past since the last time, and I am struck again by its blinding strike.

When will it leave me, when will it end? Will the pain ever really fade, or is it a never-ending cycle that will be the death of me? I do not know if I wish to truly know that answer.

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150 Reviews

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Tue May 20, 2008 5:03 am
ChernobyllyInclined wrote a review...



Why do you ask if its strange when no one is asking? Of course its painful when someone you love leaves. Everyone knows that. And so I don't think any of this is necessary.

Perhaps you could make this into a picture. Show the feeling. Have someone drowning or strangling themselves and someone else saying, 'It doesn't hurt. Why are you crying? It doesn't hurt at all.' That would actually be pretty awesome.

Describe everything: sparkling water, silvery bubbles, distorted faces, contemptuous laughs. The pain as all air runs out and water rushes into lungs, causing an agony only few understand. This would make your pain interesting, fantastic, and almost new even though it isn't.




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Sun May 18, 2008 10:21 pm
oneeyedunicornhunter wrote a review...



This seems more like private strings of thought and reflections than a non-fiction. perhaps this could be moved to somewhere more appropriate.

Especially the series of questions at the end. Really, this should be moved or deleted.

It would be much more interesting if you were to expand and leave out the rhetorical questions.





“All stories are true," Skarpi said. "But this one really happened, if that's what you mean.”
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind