Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
Emptiness is all I feel.
It surrounds me, devours me.
All I hear are tears hitting the floor as they run down my face. I can’t be bothered to wipe them away I deserve this.
Loneliness is all I smell. But I am the one who caused this.
Blood from my broken heart is all I taste.
All I see is darkness enclosing me from all sides that I can't escape it.
No matter how hard I try it. I broke my own heart this time it wasn’t you. I have no one else to blame for this besides myself.
When you were here, you numbed the pain.
Showed me something new.
Your voice put me back to sleep when I woke up from nightmares.
Your blood was the sweetest thing. I miss it.
Your smell made me smile. And burned a hole into my mind that I will never forget.
I took you for granted. I loved you too hard. I suffocated you.
It didn’t surprise me when I opened, that door you left.
But when you left you took the only candle with you the only light, I had. Now I sit here. In the darkness tried but can’t sleep.
You had a room in my heart. I can’t fill it no matter how hard I try.
I can’t sleep because you in my dreams.
I tried to move on. Like how you did.
Trying to prove myself that I don’t need you nor want you.
Like how you don’t need me.
Trying to convince myself that our love story was just a dream.
That I could never get back.
But it hurts me sitting there seeing you with her.
It makes me sick. Sick to my stomach.
I pushed you to her. I was the reason that you got with her.
Now I sit there alone missing you.
But knowing there will never be an us in this world ever again.
I will never be able to hold you.
Never be able to feel your soft lips on mine.
Never be able to hear your sweet voice ever again.
Are you with her just to break my heart?
I see you with her and every time a little piece of my heart chips off.
And falls into darkness never to be fixed again.
Crying won’t help nor will drugs or sex.
Just, you but I can never have that again.
Just move on, they say but it’s not that easy when everywhere I go there is something that reminds me of you.
I was the one who let you go so why am I the broken one.
But at least one of us gets the happily ever after that you deserve.
It’s just hard knowing that your happily ever after doesn’t consist of me.
All I wanted was to show you, love. To listen to your problems. To see you smile.
Instead, I did the opposite.
All I showed you was pain. All I did was cause problems not take them away. I caused you pain, not happiness.
It hurts me knowing that your eyes have cried quite a few tears.
That your smile has disappeared quite a few times. That your heart has been broken quite a few times.
So what did I do.
I broke your heart made your cry and made your smile go away.
All I wanted to do was help but I should have know that I’m not a helper I destroy not create.
I destroyed our love.
And I lost my everything...