Inspiration where'd you go? *Edited*

by Kagi

Published December 21, 2010

In Poems

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Inspiration, where'd you go?
I thought that maybe you'd like to know-
I need your help, It's oh so bad.
This book I'm writing is pretty sad,
No one reads it, I 'gotta' go,
See you soon, I sure hope so!

Yeah, it's me, I know... I'm back!
I'm sitting here with my apple mac
This book I'm writing-well I'm crying!
Nothing I write is satisfying.
Reviews are scarce
and when they come
I feel as though my idea was dumb.
I'm giving up, there's no other way
I'll come back,maybe, another day.

Comments & reviews · 25
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lele253isme
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lele253isme commented Comment · Mar 8, 2011

I think that its good and I feel the same way sometimes. But it helps to imagine yourself in a state that you feel the most passionate about. Poem is passion.

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GoaGreena
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GoaGreena commented Comment · Jan 11, 2011

A fun poem. Good job as I see all the errors have been corrected by others. Still, dispite this, it's a good poem.

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Razcoon
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Razcoon commented Comment · Jan 11, 2011

Poem on writers block? xDD Hate writers block, love this!

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Virsanity
Review
Virsanity wrote a review Review · Jan 11, 2011

Inspiration, where'd you go?!I thought that maybe you'd like to know..I'm dying ~I need your help, Its oh so bad.This book I'm writing.. Its pretty sad,No one reads it.. I gotta go..See you soon, I sure hope so.. Yep it's me, I know.. I'm back!I'm sitting here with my apple macThis book I'm writing.. well I'm crying!Nothing I write is satisfyingReviews are scarceand when they comeThey make my ideas all seem dumbInspiration is dead, alas my ideas have gone to none.


i really like your poem. Well in life I experience what your trying to relate here, and it makes me smile whenever i read this. :) keep it up!!!

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coborski
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coborski wrote a review Review · Jan 11, 2011

Oh so cute! This is amazingly accurate, nobody could've expressed it better. This may sound odd but I love the way you rhymed back and 'apple mac' as apposed to just 'mac' it really sounds good there. Some of the other rhyming and rhythm sounded a bit forced though so try to work on that. You have a poem with a sort of choppy rhythm and then a couple of wonderful lines that just ring like crystal bells, work with those and you have a flowing poem.

Also, for your last line how about
Inspiration is dead, alas all my ideas have gone numb

MadameLuxestrange commented Comment · Jan 11, 2011

Haha! I love this! So accurate. This is me right now. Thanks for putting this out kaka!
Luxy :D

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Kagi
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Kagi commented Comment · Jan 10, 2011

Possum.. That was such a sweet reivew. That's so nice and I know its not half that good but thank you for your kindness.
Its much appreciated.
Kaka x

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posum
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posum wrote a review Review · Jan 10, 2011

I really like this book. It reminds me a bit of myself in that I write books and I feel an inspiration but the problem is that other people have unique inspirations and that nobody seems to be able to grasp what it is that I'm trying to conceive through my piece. I think that your ending is great and that you should not change it at all. This was a great piece that I truly think deserves to be right at the top of this list. You have done something here that nobody else can take away from you and that you should never stop writing because you are obviously just starting to bloom into the flower of brilliance that I can plainly see you becoming soon. In the last phrase I noticed that you said that your back. well, you know how that stupid wal-mart commercial went a few years ago, right? The one where they said that you dont go back you arrive? well, you have truly achieved that and I think that you were born to be a poet. keep going and you might, keep in mind this is just a might, be as famous as Hunter S Tompson for whom I have been named after.

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Kagi
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Kagi commented Comment · Jan 10, 2011

lovethelifeulive wrote:Hey!
I enjoyed your poem very much and I thought that is was quite amusing.
I think that we all have had our fights with inspiration.
Me and Inspiration play hide and go seek every night in the shadows.
Again, I really liked it and I hope you will write more like this!


Well you could write your own poem on inspiration! XD

Anyhow I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who read this and pressed the like button! I really appreciate it and to be honest I never thought it would even get this many reviews! It was only a bit of fraud (Have I said this enough?! XD)
And so I never expected it to get featured so thank you thank you thank you everyone!
It's all thanks to you guys.
I love you!!!! XD
Kaka xox

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Beavertail13
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Beavertail13 wrote a review Review · Jan 9, 2011

Well, I definitly have been asking "Inspiration, where'd you go?!" lately; it's the reason I joined this website! Anyways, I like how it rhymes, that's an good thing to excel at with poems. Secondly, you made it flow. Flowing words define them, and really pop into the readers face BAM! Haa... Also, the poem IDEA was very nice. Even though you might not of, you made it SEEM like you had an idea, and were determined to write it down. That's good.

In my opinion, I'd like to see a poem in third-person from you. I can tell that you can inspire others with words, and putting that to work will definitly do wonders for you.

Overall, I have nothing bad to say, since all the mistakes were already said. Great job on your part!

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lauraxc
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lauraxc wrote a review Review · Jan 9, 2011

I really like this! It's light hearted and at the same time conveys emotion with some of the lines you use.
As silly as it sounds, 'personifying' the inspiration brought a really personal feel to it.
the rhyming works really well also, overall i thought it was very good, apart from some of the grammar that people have mentioned (e.g. I thought that maybe you'd like to know; instead of I thought that maybe you'd like to know..) Its great :)
Well done :D

lovethelifeulive wrote a review Review · Jan 8, 2011

Hey!
I enjoyed your poem very much and I thought that is was quite amusing.
I think that we all have had our fights with inspiration.
Me and Inspiration play hide and go seek every night in the shadows.
Again, I really liked it and I hope you will write more like this!

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ballerina13
Review
ballerina13 wrote a review Review · Jan 8, 2011

hello! This was good. It was sweet, cute, and funny. The idea of it all hits home with a lot of writers I am sure. Your flow was nice and rhyme was constant. I do think that you could add a few more lines just to make it feel more complete. Great job though. I really enjoyed it.

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Caerulean
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Caerulean wrote a review Review · Jan 7, 2011

Hello there. :) I just actually realized that your avatar is adorable lol. :D

Nitpicks:

I'm dying ~I need your help, Its oh so bad.

- That one actually looked weirdly punctuated xD. Anyway, 'Its' should be 'It's'.

They make my idea's all seem dumb

- Correction: 'ideas'

- - - - - - -

I was actually gonna comment on the 'double dots' but then, I thought that, maybe, it's just your style. Well, if you'd like to hear my thoughts on that. An ellipsis consists of three dots (...) and you don't space after them xD. Anyway, that was such a cool poem. :D I love the rhymes too. The poem was also realistic. XD There was actually no clear imagery, for me, but I don't care much about it when I read poems anyway, haha.

Keep it up! :D

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Amfliflier
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Amfliflier wrote a review Review · Jan 7, 2011

Wow! That was really cool! I liked the rhyming, because I know they're not all supposed to rhyme, but to me it sounds like real poetry when it does! I think that's what all authors are thinking when they have Writer's Block! xD Keep up the good work!

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Butterfinger
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Butterfinger commented Comment · Jan 6, 2011

I really love this because even when you wonder where the inspiration is, it's still there!

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Kagi
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Kagi commented Comment · Jan 5, 2011

Hmm I know what you mean..

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Calligraphy
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Calligraphy wrote a review Review · Jan 5, 2011

Alright I am going to give you a bunch of nitpicks.

Note: blue and bold means I added punctuation.

you wrote:Inspiration,<-space needed here->where'd you go?!
I thought that maybe, You don't need a comma here you'd like to know..
I'm dying!! I need your help and I need it bad
This book I'm writing.. Its pretty sad,
No one reads it.. I gotta go..
See you soon, I sure hope so..

Yep it's me, I know.. I'm back!
But now I really can't relax
This book I'm writing.. well I'm crying!
Nothing I write is satisfying.
Reviews are scarce,
and when they come
T Should be lowercase hey make my idea's all seem dumb.
Maybe my brain's has You don't need has because 'brain's' is the shortened form of 'brain has' so it is like you are saying: brain has has. finally gone numb


O.K. above you can see that some of your grammar wasn't consistent. You need to make sure before you start a poem if you are going to capitalize the beginning of all the lines or just the beginning of sentences. Other grammar things like that have to be consistent or it is very confusing for the reader. I also noticed that a lot of the times you used '..' a period or comma would have been more appropriate. I didn't point that out in the nitpicks if you agree with me you can go through it yourself.

Another thing:

you wrote:No one reads it.. I gotta go..
See you soon, I sure hope so..

Yep it's me, I know.. I'm back!

But now I really can't relax


This whole part just made the poem feel choppy. Almost like you couldn't think of another rhyming thing to say so you made a transition to start off fresh? This just makes it seem like your whole poem is being completely led by your rhyming scheme. It doesn't make for a very good poem. If there is any way around it I would take this part out.

Another thing about this is it leaves me wondering 'why did they have to go?' You never answer this question. In poems like this, ones that aren't too abstract, all the pieces should be tied back together by the end, all questions answered.

Your poem is almost completely being taken over by your rhyming scheme. I think this rhyme:

you wrote:This book I'm writing.. well I'm crying!
Nothing I write is satisfying


Is the best you have written, but most of the others are very forced. This makes the poem sound choppy and takes away the rhythm you were trying to create with the rhyming in the first place. There are so many other ways to create rhythm don't sacrifice your poem for rhyme. Also, to get the rhymes you often wrote things you wouldn't normally say like:

No one reads it.. I gotta go..

That shouldn't be all on one line, but you made it so because you needed or wanted that end rhyme. Rhymes should flow off the tongue. They should sound like you came up with them on the spot because they are so smooth.

One more thing about your rhyming, some of the lines didn't rhyme at all like 'back' and 'relax' I am not sure if you meant it to, but it is best to either rhyme everything or nothing. Though, in my rhyming poems I like to leave the last line un-rhyming to kind of give a bang.

Overall this poem as cute, short, and simple. It didn't give me imagery, feeling, or make me think in a new or different way, but that isn't what you were going for so it is well written.

I hope I didn't just ramble on,

A. S.

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Kagi
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Kagi commented Comment · Jan 5, 2011

Ouuu kay then people. Thank you so much for your reviews everyone! I'll try and come up with some more verses then! Thats a MIGHT!
Haha..
Glad you enjoyed it.

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liquiddeath
Review
liquiddeath wrote a review Review · Jan 5, 2011

I felt the emotions you were trying to portray, and also the form was pretty good. (trying to sound professional ) All in all it was very good and i really liked it, you have gift at getting people to review your work and after that poem i have the urge to review all your work. You put me in a pickle -.-
Hm, people tend to do this when they review, o well.
~Liquid (or for Razhuni's case Quidditch)

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MiaParamore
Review
MiaParamore wrote a review Review · Jan 5, 2011

Hey Kaka!

When I said I'd review, I had thought this to be some fiction piece, but then later it's a poem. *faints* Asking me for a review on it is like committing suicide, and I guess that's not good, now is it? Anyways, I'll try to leave something helpful behind.

I'm dying!! I need your help and I need it bad
Now I'd like to see some other word here other than 'bad' since the flow till now has been superb, and I won't like for it to be disturbed. So maybe make it 'now' so it sounds desperate. Anything but 'bad'. It just doesn't gel with the poem here.

This book I'm writing.. It's pretty sad,
Don't eat your apostrophe, Kaka! :D

Reviews are scarce
and when they come
They make my idea's all seem dumb
Maybe my brain's has finally gone numb
Aww, I love this part, and your ideas can't be dumb.

So reviewing this would mean like dishonoring the word 'inspiration' because this kind of piece is good for reading and actually sweet in itself and I don't think there's much you could change here since I like it the way it is. But don't go on my advice-you know I am hopeless. At poetry. lol.

I really liked the idea you had in there, and the way you made it seem like of our generation, with slang words and expressions we use in daily life, I think people can relate to it.

My review would be that if ever you get in more idea, you could maybe extend it since there's a lot of scope of growing its length and including more ideas. I am saying also because I believe that the place it ended at made it look rather...weird. The end was like unexpected and I was really craving in for more. I won't be able to suggest more, but maybe more of how you really need 'inspiration' can be helpful.

I *like* it.

P.S. I am better at reviewing fiction, seriously.

Good luck,
Shrubbery!

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Kagi
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Kagi commented Comment · Jan 5, 2011

Ahh thank you and yes this wasn't to show my amazing poetry skills it was just for fun. xD
I liked writing something really rythmeeeyy!
I appreciate your reveiws and ignore my bad skills as I said it was a spur of the moment poem!

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Emmzziee
Review
Emmzziee wrote a review Review · Dec 30, 2010

HA. :)
This is good! :D
It sounds like you got your inspiration back... 'cos I like this :)
It made me smile.
and I don't know why...
:P x

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Sassafras
Review
Sassafras wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2010

Hello, Kaka.

Haha, I really like this one. I think every writer has those moments where this poem would fir it perfectly. Yeah, I hope to slap my muse a few times before he gets up and running again. I swear, I don't know how he got that much paid vacation time. I have to stop letting him off.

You seem to be confused on how many ellipses to put in your sentences. Three is the usual amout but the reviewer above me seems to know more about that. Never two, though, at least I can tell you that much. (: There are also a lot of minor mistakes but I suppose I can pass that off as you being excited ot maybe just rushed.

JUST A FUN POEM I WROTE A WHILE BACK AND DECIDED TO POST IT.ENJOY TO ALL THOSE WHO FEEL LIKE INSPIRATION HAS LEFT THEM.KAKA XXX
I know it's the end of the poem but all caps is sort of alarming I don't know if that's the correct word to decribe that. Alarming, meaning les majuscules sont exprimant l'accent trop. Yeah, that. Okay, well, that is all!

Au revoir!

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TheWalkinDude
Review
TheWalkinDude wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2010

kakagirl wrote:Inspiration, where'd you go?!
I thought that maybe, you'd like to know: (I'm adding a colon here because I think it reads better and looks better than the dots (...))
I'm dying!! I need your help and I need it bad. (When you write poetry, it's easiest to write it as if you're writing normal, and that includes proper grammar and punctuation.)
This book I'm writing, it's pretty sad.
No one reads it.. I gotta go..
See you soon, I sure hope so.. (I highlight all of these two lines because they confuse me a little bit. They don't seem to fit in with the rest of the stanza and even the rhythm seems a little forced)


Yep, it's me, I know, I'm back!
But now I really can't relax.
This book I'm writing, well, I'm crying!
Nothing I write is satisfying.
Reviews are scarce,
and when they come
They make my ideas all seem dumb.
Maybe my brain has finally gone numb.



This is a nice poem and it seems to me to be written a little haphazardly, which sometimes is good, sometimes not so good. But, in a sense, I think it also reflects how many writers feel when they can't find any inspiration, when their muse has refused to sing. We tend to get a little cranky, am I right? Hehe, anyways, nice poem, yes, and just remember punctuation and proper grammar. And anytime you put those dots, keep in mind it's supposed to be just three in a row (...) unless it's ending a complete sentence, then it's four (....).



Irresponsibly-conceived assignments don't deserve responsibly-executed complies.
— Persistence