Published December 20, 2010
Childhood is innocence.
Childhood is a small, sound proof box, tucked away in a corner of the world.
The box is a child’s shield. The happy, cozy little box is all they know. They don’t hear, think, or know about what’s outside the box. They don’t even really care about what is outside the box.
Because they are children.
Children who, if they say please or thank you, get whatever they want or need. Children who, if they do something wrong, are not responsible for it. Children who, if in need of a companion, only need to ask if another child wants to be their friend to have one. Children that have no worries and no problems.
Days seem like weeks, weeks seem like months. They can’t wait for anything, and time seems so slow.
They don’t realize how precious this box is.
Until time starts getting faster. It rushes upon them.
Weeks now seem like days, and months now feel like weeks. Even if they wanted to have it slow down, they couldn’t.
Because the box is crumbling.
Fading away.
Their shield is gone. Now they’re responsible. Now they have problems and worries. Getting a friend isn’t as easy anymore.
They can now see the rest of the world. As it really is.
And even if they wanted to go back to that small, happy sound proof box…
They wouldn’t be able to.
Because it’s gone.
Forever.
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139,372 Literary Works • 672,541 Reviews
I really like this piece. It's so true. Childhood is fleeting. I like how you used a box as a metaphor for the protection of childhood. It does seem like a box is around us as children, shielding us from the realities of the world. I also like the way you divided the paragraphs. It does a good job in showing the transition from childhood to adulthood with each new line. I agree with everyone who said that this does feel more like a poem, though. You could probably change some of the larger paragraphs into verses and keep the one line paragraphs if you did want to turn it into a poem.
Ah... Childhood... It's quite cruel to think of it that way... But it is reality...
I miss my childhood...
Love your work by the way, quite touching...
Thanks people...I took all your ideas, any criticism, etc. into consideration. I'm glad that it touched some of you guys; it makes me feel good. ^^
-Kae
Oh my gosh. Wow. This is absolutley heartbreaking. I love this so much. Thank you for writing this, I really needed to hear those words.
Wow, this was truly beautiful.
I have no negative comments whatsoever and I'll join in the rest of the reviewers in saying I CAN RELATE!
This made me try and remember when exactly my box crumbled for me. *heaves a nostalgic sigh
No matter I suppose but there are certainly days like you said when I wish I could have my box back just for a few hours.
I can't say it enough, very well done!
~day
Wow. Simply, wow. I feel like I can connect with this, as does everybody else who has commented, and I really feel you nailed a lot of the key points very well, turning them into something we can imagine in our heads and see with our mind's eye. The crumbling box was a really great simile for the childhood shield. I feel like I can relate to this, but at a bit of a younger age. Sometimes I feel as if I grew up too fast, that really I should still be in boyhood and not feel as if I'm in manhood, know what I mean? It's as if I purposely destroyed my box, but without knowing. This story is one of those sort of nostalgia stories that makes the reader look back at everything in their lives and realize the mortality of everything and the simplicity and innocence of youth. I commend you, and I wish you well in your writing ventures.
This was so moving and heartbreaking. It speaks to the reader because it is relatable. Almost everyone has felt like that as they start to grow up. I loved the metaphor of childhood being a box. It was very creative. Although, this does feel more like a poem than a story, as other users have pointed out. It sheds light on the saddness of growing up. Honestly, there is really nothing to say improvement wise, it is wonderful and brilliant. Great job. It written nicely.
Thanks a lot for reading and commenting, guys! I'm glad you could relate.
And yes, I really don't know what category to put this in, haha. It is halfway to poetry, I guess. And it would be nice if I could be even capable of transforming into poetry format; I can't really do poetry.
Oh and stargazer...Yeah, my avvie's pretty cute. ;D Thanks!
Awe! This is so... powerful, so real, so... I don't know. It's like, pure and true and makes me want to cry because if I could I know I would freeze myself in childhood and never worry about growing up, but, of course, something like that only ever really happens in the fantastic universes us creative type come up with in the deep dark parts of our minds. I absolutely loved this, and I really do apoligize if you wanted to know how to improve it because I can't really think of anything. One note is that this seems almost more like a poem... there's not, like, a plot or characters... which is fine, but I wouldn't call it a short story... however, I hardly ever review poems, because I am not a poet, and I don't feel I can accurately critique them, so, if you had posted this under poetry I probably wouldn't have read it...
This was really sad but really amazing, I loved it!
--
TabbyGirl
I love this. It's so true. I remember when I was innocent and still in my box. I'm still in the process of getting out of it. I think you could probably turn this into a poem if you wanted to. I'm not seeing how it's a fiction short story. Maybe a non-fiction, but I don't see much of a story to it. It could also be a good essay.
Oh and by the way, I love your avatar. I love the pictures that move, especially when they're cute.
This is great because there is not a single person on the planet that can't relate to this. We have all either gone through it or are going through the process where that box is crumbling. Also you kept your sentences short which added to the overall feeling that something is shrinking (in this case the time left as a child).
This is amazing. One, because I'm experiancing this myself, and it does show how my life is going right now. Much too fast. I have nothing at all to correct, all seems fine in this amazing little peice of work.