Published October 21, 2011
This work has been removed by JustMeNathalie.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hi there!
This was excellent! I like how she's arguing back and forth with herself throughout the story- it makes it so interesting to read.
The content overall was sad, yes, but I almost think there's not quite enough emotion put into this. How is she feeling? I image she's depressed, right? I just wasn't getting the sense of that by the end.
My favourite part is the very end:
-The Bible verse was a nice way to finish.
Overall, I loved reading it and with a few tweaks this could be a masterpiece!
Thanks for the read, and happy writing
-Briggsy