Maybe tonight I too will leave egypt
Maybe the sea will split
Night is a time of freedom
Maybe tonight time goes free
And maybe that long-ago sea
Will split once more for me
Maybe tonight there will be light
Maybe the sea's screams will cease
Maybe tonight the riverbanks break
Overflow and fill the cracks in each parched broken thing
Maybe the salt will flood the tunnels
And cleanse the darkness of Egypt
Maybe tonight will go down
As the downfall of the night
Maybe a miracle will dawn
For hope is alive, and that is the miracle
As long as I can dream
That tonight the sea will split
And I, too, will leave Egypt
And the moon will shine freely on the waters
When there are no miracles
We can make a miracle
And that itself is the miracle
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
I miss Egypt!
I like the references back to biblical stories. The first few lines had me hooked, very well written, flowed from one line to the next. The second half lost me a little, it felt more like a story than a poem. There is nothing wrong with that just that it felt a little stuttered and unnatural. I really, really like the use of the word maybe. It is very powerful in this poem and helps to create a sense of wonder for the reader. I think if you used it in a consistent format, opening each line with a maybe, it would have held me in a little longer.
Overall however, very good and a very enjoyable read.
I love the repeated use of the word "maybe" it is so powerful. I'm sure this excerpt speaks to many people in different ways, and that's the best part about it. There are many ways to understand this poem and the tone is very well-written.
I like how it repeats "maybe I will leave Egypt" or something along those lines because it helps the reader not get lost in the fog of some metaphors and confusing lines. Having a repeating phrase like that simplifies the poem while still allowing room for metaphors and meaning for the reader to take away from it.
With regards!
-Jane Amelia