Twilight && Harry Potter

FINALLY! Someone who will take the upmost micky out of the scurge that Harry Potter! I would love to see this acted out! I mean if it wasn't for the films, it would have been forgot about at book three...

This was great JD,
Well Done,
Someone already got the nit-picks in before me so I will just say I like it. I am a HP fan but not so much with Twilight, therefore, it was great! Hehehehe. *Laughs a lot*
A job well done!

Keep Writing,
~Lydia

Ha! this is funny!! hehe... i read this 6 times and it's still hilarous to read!! I lovve it!!! But, you forgot to put who hp was, (Even though we all know who it is!)

oh, wow.

this is ANCIENT.

i haven't been on in like forever.

aha.

i remember this !
comments on it ?
i know it's pretty badddd.
haha.

sorry d:

Aha, thaaank you(:

OMG!!! i loved it!!! especially since you made Bella the whiner that she is!! XP

i really wanna know what happened to Ron though? he disappeared, which depressed me. Or maybe he went of with JK? who knows!!!

oh and thanks for turning Bella into an antelope. It made me happy. And how she and harry got married. YAY!! happy ending!!

Aha, thanks!
Aha, personally I love Twilight, but it can be pathetic at times.
Aha, i'm neutral in this script.
(:
xD

80,000 gold stars for making fun of Twilight!!!! haha but one thing......i like jk rowling i mean her initials r JK in text language its just kidding. HAHA her names Just Kidding Rowling.

Bahaha is it really that bad? :[

^^^ is that a compliment?
Sorry about the accent thing.
Personally I think "brits" are cool. (:

Ahhhhhhh *falls of chair laughing* not really

*gives stern look* Sorry but as a brit anything even remotely insulting about are accents just makes me hate the rest of the piece sorry but you know I thought you did it well I've read the other ones by meep and this really stands out next to it

I like it. I can tell it was kind of thrown together but i like things that way. te things ppl think of! Haha ah ah ahahahhah aha hah ah ahhaha h a haha ha hahah ha ah aah aha ah ah aha ah ah a hah ahah. sorry augh attach. Um I have never read the twilight or harry potter books. I have only seen the harry potter movies, but anyways i still liked it. iven tho it was confusing anyaee op joojabot

Even as a lover of Twilight ad Harry Potter, I can say that I liked this a lot.
It is a random sort of play, bit funny and quite original, I must say!
Well Done!
But some of that spelling needs sorted out!

Keep writing!

Thanks!
You helped a lot Meep(:
I'll take your advice and fix it up later.
Maybe tommrow.
Thanks again! (:

JustDance=] wrote:I know it sucks a lot. Lol my first one. Bahaha I am inspired by Meep(: so you might find mine similar to her. Ahaha, thanks, I'm honoured. Seems a lot of people are inspired by my parodies spawned by boredom Oh, and the last word should be "her's"

J: JustDance=]
E: Edward
R: Ron
B: Bella
Herm.: Hermione

HP: Hocus Pocus Gorey Morey (No need to capitalise everything, and end the line with proper punctuation)

J: Oh shut up just shut up! (Comma between up and just)

HP: Why?

J: That wizardy crap is so annoying.

HP: I don't think so.

J: And what the heck is up with the retarted british accent? (That [not the] retarded British[capitalise] accent?)

HP: You mean the one I am currently speaking? (Not very 'catchy' sounding, if you get my drift.)
Meep suggests something like this: You mean, like this? *imitates faux British accent*

J: Yes you moron, the one you are currently speaking. (Same as the line before it. There's this kind of 'I'm-so-cool' vibe that I'm getting from it, but it didn't really come out well.)

HP: I don't find you very nice (Punctuation )

J: Yeah, and I don't find your face very nice. Good one!

Rowling: Okay Okay. Break it up you two. (Don't need to capitalise the second 'okay' and there should be a comma between it.)

J: Oh you just shut up Rowling. You're probably the only woman on the planet who writes a 700 page long book about dweebs with stupid robes. (Comma after 'Oh'. This line is repetitve to what you spoke to HP. It loses its 'oomph' factor. Try something else like: Oh, put a sock in it, Rowling. Also, I usually spell out my numbers when writing. Normal compositions in school are like that.)[You're an anti-Harry Potter person?! OOO:

HP: *Gasps* I am not a dweeb!

J: Have you looked in the mirror lately? (Witty. Though I do support Rowling.)

Rowling: Don't you love my books? EVERYONE does. (Is she that egotistical in real life? Its best to try and retain some characteristics matching to the real person. Though you can blow that characteristic out of proportion XD)

J: Get a freakin life woman! Who has the time to sit and write 8 books each 700 pages long? Don't you have a family to hang out with or something? (Again, spell your numbers. It should be spelt as: freakin', with the apostrophe, because you're shortening the word.)

Rowling: *bursts out crying* My husaband divorced me. He says I'm pathetic. (Well, she's married now, right?)

J: There's a suprise. Nice sarcasm!

*Hermione walks in followed by Ron who's going googly eyes at her*
(Meep suggests (and corrects): Hermione struts in with Ron stalking and making googly-eyes at her)

Herm.: Hello everyone. (Minimise insignificant lines. Maybe you could add in an action like: *flips her bushy hair* *is unable to find her lost hand in the depths of her tangles*)
Ron: Hello *standing behind Hermione sniffing her hair*

Herm.: Ronny poo? What are you doing? (Ronny-poo... what are you doing?)

Ron: Ohh Hermione my love...sniffing your hair. It smells lovely. (Oh Hermione, my love)

Herm.: Why thank you. I used frog pee conditioner today. (Gags!)

J: *Pukes* (My sentiments exactly. Maybe you should make it 'toad pee' for further repulsion)

*Edward Cullen && Bella Swan poof in* (Don't add unecessary '&'s.)

POOF! (It would be better if you italicised this, and the change the 'poof ini' in the line above, to something like: materialise out of thin air. Just something to avoid redundancy)

B: Where are we Edward!? I'm so scared! Protect me!

E: *Clings onto Bella* Don't worry love you are safe with me. (Shouldn't Bella cling on to Edward instead? Comma between love and you)

Herm.: OMG! You are hot! *kicks Ron* Screw you! I love Edward now! (Perhaps you should put action in front of Hermione's speech, showing that she notices Edward, as well as her physical reaction to it. Like jaw dropping, heart stopping...you get the point. And it would be better to put 'aside' in the action where she kicks Ron.)

B: Back off he's mine! (Actions!)

Herm: *growls* Then punches bella in the face (Ending punctuation, name capitalisation. Also, Hermione's a witch. Make use of the fact that she has magical powers, to create a much more hilarious fight scene.)

B: Edwardkins! She hurt me! Aren't you going to do anything? (Actions!)

E: *Ignores Bella* I like em fiesty! (Apostrophe: 'em. Remember to do that when you shorten a word. And yes, this line drove me into derisive laughter when I pictured it)

Herm: *giggles*

B: *Sobbing*

Herm && E run off to Alaska to eat frozen fish. (&. Don't put an extra one in.)(Oh, and how randomly silly )

HP: Well this is akward. (Meep suggests: Well... this is... majorly awkward)

J: *Groans* Will you shut up with your whining Bella?! (Shut up is not the only phrase to command silence. Avoid being superfluous so that the dialogue won't lose flavour. Meep suggests: *groans* Bella, save your whining for someone who cares, 'cause frankly, I don't give a damn.)

B: My lovey dovey left me! (Hehe, I remember using a lot of 'lovey dovey' terms as Bella's pet names for Eddykins <--this is one of them)

J: Whacks Bella across the face with a dead fish. (Use your asterisks or else this becomes your speech, not action)

B: Owwwweeeeyyyy!!!!!! (Action!)

HP: *Looks at Bella* *Raises his eyebrows*

B: What?

HP: You smell nice. (Like strawberries? Give us more details. You could say she smells like...some wizard candy...or even beef steak.)

B: Okayyyy????? (Don't keep elongating her words. [I don't like girls who speak like that and drag their words annoyingly for a more dramatic effect)

HP: Will you marry me? (Ahahaha, one of the scripts I did, was Bella proposing, and Harry rejecting.)

B: Noo!!! I love Edward! (Shorten to 'no'.)

HP: OH yeah? Well I bet he can't do this! *takes out his wand and then begans to dance to the hokey pokey* (You needn't capitalise the 'OH'. Comma after 'well'. What's the point of whipping out his wand but not using it? [The hokey pokey part made me hysterical with laughter])

B: OMG! Okay I'll marry you!!!!!! (I'd suggest spelling 'OMG' out. Like, oh emm gee!)
HP && B: *Make out*

J: God kill me now. (Comma after 'God'.)

Thanks!

good, then this is very good.

Don't worry...I made fun of Twilight too.
I personally don't really like Harry Potter books, but I like the movies so yeah...no she's a good author.

i hope you were kidding on the Rowling sucking and needing a life, cause her books rock.

i half expected you to saw twilight rocks, and if you did, and were serious on harry potter stinking. Then i would have gone on a long winded twilight bashing harry potter worshiping rant on why you were wrong.

thanks! =]]]

HP: I don't find you very nice

J: Yeah, and I don't find your face very nice.

Herm.: Why thank you. I used frog pee conditioner today.

J: Whacks Bella across the face with a dead fish.