Published August 8, 2008
The cold dark water
So deep and quiet
Washing along the shore
Moving but not changing
The blinding hands of faith
Cling to me, try to hold me back
As I step through the sand
Towards the waters edge
The darkness hides all
The faith in another life
Empty here, I’m so alone
Moving but never changing
I slowly slide towards the end
The god I loved has gone
And while I submerge into the water
A single question I cry.
I twist and turn beneath the ocean
And stare into the light above
The dark hands of faith wrap around
As I ask “Do you love?”
The god I loved deserted me
But I’m still meant to believe
In the cold and desolate ocean
I scream “Do you love?”
The hands drag me down to the bottom
And choke me, strangle me
The blackness swallows all
And I mouth “Do you love?”
The movement in the black
So sharp, so pure behind the veil
A single voice, a voice that powers all
As I’m asked “Do you love?”
just a little something i wrote after feeling quite dark.
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I couldn't help but think when reading this that this gave no meaning or added nothing to the poem. I think it would have conveyed the same image if it were left out. I also thought that it was pretty interesting how you described faith as holding you back. Pretty cool, though I thought this was more about suicide than anything else.
Hi
I just wanted to let you know that you need to do two reviews before posting anything of your own on here. That way everyone gets a little feedback.
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