The Beach

     The waves lapped up on the tan beach. The sun sent its warm, bright rays down upon the earth pleasingly. The white-capped waves were a little more rough than usual, and the sand stirred inside them under a powder blue, cloudless sky. The picture was quite beautiful, almost like a post card.

"Mr. Simmons!" A voice barked from the front of the room.

Pedro Simmons reluctantly opened his eyes. He could hear the sniggering of his classmates. "Yes?"

The teacher at the front of the room narrowed his eyes. "I thought you would like to stay awake for this part."

"This part of what?" Pedro asked groggily.

"I was just saying," the teacher began. "That today is National Humor day."

"So?" Pedro asked irritably. He was never one for jokes, and found them to be a waste of time when he could be doing something better, like sleeping for instance.

"I figured, to get us into the holiday spirit, we should have a slight competition."

"A competition?!" Pedro's best friend, Quigley asked from  beside him. "For what, Mr. Nayknow?"

"Whoever can make me laugh first," Mr. Nayknow began. "Gets to choose him or her, a game at I'm Game gamestore."

Pedro sat up in his seat. That was his favorite place to go! He and Quigley made eye contact. There was a solemn agreement just then. The two of them had been saving all their summer pocket money to purchase a new shoot-'em-up game at that game store, and this could get them that game for free!

"Each student can have one go." Mr Nayknow continued.

The whole class sighed and groaned in protest.

"Now now, let's get started." Mr. Nayknow said. He pointed at the kid furthest to the left in the front row. "Bob," what do you have?

Bob seemed caught off guard that he was chosen so quickly. He sat still, looking at Mr. Nayknow as if he had a large spider crawling on his face. "Um..." he stammered. "Why can't dinosaurs talk?"

"Why not?"

"'Cause they're dead?" Bob said as if it were a costume.

Mr. Nayknow furrowed his brow, then faced the kid next to him. "Maya."

Maya sat up straight in her seat. It was widely known that she was also passionate in the area of gaming. "Yes, sir?"

"What have you got for me?"

Maya pursed her lips, then grinned and laughed to herself. "Okay, okay, I've got it. Knock knock,"

Mr. Nayknow frowned. "Who's there?"

"Your doorknob repairman." The class collectively groaned.

It went like this through the entire class. Mr. Nayknow would look at someone expectantly, get severely disappointed, then moved on to the next with the same hopeful expression. After what seemed like forever: "Quigley!"

"Yes?" Quigley asked in a squeakey sort of voice.

"Joke?"

"Uh... uh... um... You know what's good? The top of a blueberry muffin. Also, your face."

Mr. Nayknow sighed exasperatedly. "That's a pickup line, Quigley." His gaze shifted onto Pedro.

Pedro combed through his memory frantically. He mentally tossed away jokes, each one more corny than the next. Finally, he had it. "A rich man, a hardhat, and a cheapskate walk into a bar."

Pedro ignored the disappointed look on Mr. Nayknow's face.

"They each order a drink, and each discovers that there's a fly in their cup. The rich man asks for a new drink. The hardhat spills just enough to get the fly out. The cheapskate lifts the fly by the wings, and screams: SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!" Pedro smirked triumphantly as the class dissolved into laughter.

"I suppose that works," Mr. Nayknow said through a smile. "This Saturday, meet me at the gamestore." He said, standing back behind his desk. Class dismissed.

With the heart of a triumphant soldier out of a battle, the class lifted him into his arms, chanting his name. The girls looked up at him adoringly. The boys showered him in money. They burst through the doors, and carried him home, where his mother immediately said that he could quit school for the rest of his life, and gave him her credit card, while his dad took him outside to unveil a new bike that they purchased because they admitted, yes, Pedro was their favorite child, and her older sister, Ella, really was a brat and they they gave her away to a tribe of small gnomes.

Then, Pedro woke up.

***

I can take no credit for these jokes. Sorry!