For ages and ages more
Fear
For ages and ages thus
Fear
Fear has consumed
Fear has controlled
Fear
Fear of an unknown name
Fear of what was and what I
And most of all fear of what's to come
Fear
Fear that rips at the heart in the dark void of dream
The fear that makes us feel
The fear that makes us real
Fear
Fear of the truth, who you are, who they are, what they are, what they saw, what they know, what they don't know, what they think
Fear
The never ending expanse
The unlimited ultimate emotion
Fear
Fear the emotion that never dies but never rises
An ice cold grip we all know and love.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,545 Literary Works • 673,419 Reviews
Hello!
Before I start reviewing, I am really exited to read this. The title was interesting to me.
This is a very relatable poem . Fear is something everyone has to deal with and the way you
portrayed it in the poem was beautiful. The only problem I saw with it was many
unnecessary
things or fluff. I also think it would be a good idea to talk about what you fear not just about
what fear is and how it feels. Though overall I liked this it was a good poem even though it
does need a little work. I can't wait to read more of your work.
Goodbye, Have a nice day!
thanks Emily that's great to hear I will try to fix it and I hope to get more of my work out soon
Hello, jpwriter.
Here is my honest opinion. It's filled with good intentions.
Honestly, this feels jumbled. There's a message here, but there is so much unneeded fluff that doesn't really need to be said and kind of makes the reader's mind wander that the message is obscured.
The message is contained in only a few lines. If you cut out everything that made this a jumble, you'd be left with these lines:
And really, the message is just to fear fear. But that can be said in a much more direct way. When writing poetry, you need physical anchors to show the readers what you mean in the metaphorical sense. So apply this to a situation, don't just talk about fear. What do you fear? The future? What about the future? Are you afraid you're not going to make enough money? Live alone? Give us personal fears in the poem, and the rest will follow.
Also, incorporate the five senses. You only have touch. In the last line. Show fear as it manifests in all of the five senses. What does it look like? Smell like? Taste like? Sound like? Give us something we can feel, not just a philosophical rambling.
I hope that this review proves useful to you. Keep writing.
thanks for the review and I knowits a lot but its because I wanted it to be interpreted in many different ways not just one or two but many. that's what I did hear, I like the idea of using more senses then just touch and I will make changes to improve it thanks