Published February 10, 2012
*** I wrote this piece in December before the website changed, but I haven't gotten around to posting it until now. I used a writting prompt.***
I am determined for my dignity to remain intact, even though I know that I am completely helpless. Does no one realize that every bit of me that is pulled away is the unravelling of my life? It is all that I have left of myself. I would not expect her to know that. There is no malice in her golden eyes. She looks at me with such childish expressions of delight, as I am thrown down the hall; a trail of bright red following me. I am sure that I’m getting smaller. They taught her to do this; they think it’s funny—cute. Down the staircase I go, I am breathless, dizzy, and sick. I was once free, just like her, but I was sheared off and sold. In the place of that freedom I have torture. I used to try fighting it, but now I am too weak. I am certain the end of me is near. I feel a sharp pain as I am suddenly lifted into the air. I land on the ground completely defeated. Now I know my suffering has ended. She walks up slowly and looks at me, her face full of curiosity. She has won a battle that she did not even know she was fighting. My dignity has now been completely stripped away. I never wanted to admit it, but inside I knew that there was no hope, for she is a cat, and I am just a string of red yarn.
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140,265 Literary Works • 673,077 Reviews
First, and before I even introduce myself, I have to say a small thought I have in mind:
You bewildered me. You took me aback by the beauty of the cheerful end that is in complete contradiction with the gloomy beginning.
Now, let me introduce myself. I'm Gheala and I'm going to give my humble opinion about this piece.
Well, I surely never believed in prompts and their use in good literature, but now I know they're obviously quite helpful. What were the words in the prompt you used? Red yarn, cat and dignity?
I don't know, but I think you must have a great imagination and a beautiful sense of writing to put up that sort of piece.
The symbolism in it was mesmerizing and the calm description of the moves was quite soothing. I mean, I thought it was an actual human being falling off the stairs and your words made that detail seem sad more than vicious. It wasn't disturbing, but it was miserable. And to me, that's a proof of a profound talent. The vocabulary was sophisticated, as well as the writing style.
When I reached the very end of the piece, I paused for long until it sank in. Strange thing is that I wasn't annoyed at the change of events at all. It made me smile and it shook some hope in me, if that wouldn't be an exaggeration.
I have one point I wish to make clear, though. I do know this is a small insight that needn't have too many details, but I was deeply confused at first. I wondered who the free girl was and why was she determined to harm the other person. Too many questions that I found no answers for which.
Let's just try to throw more details next time, that's all.
Other than that, I liked it and I was inspired by it. Well done.