Published December 18, 2012
It’s been snowing for three days. No rest is allowed. We must continue to fight this white devil or we will certainly starve to death, cut off from the world.
Shovels are our only weapons but they are not very effective. We’re doing our best but the situation is getting desperate. The men are tired and hungry. If help doesn’t arrive soon, this will be my last winter. I will die, with my whole team, in this God forgotten village. How ironical. After over thirty years of saving people from exactly this kind of situations. Damn!
I must confess to you in case I don’t make it. If by some miracle we are saved, I will destroy this letter and you will never know anything. But I won’t take any chances. I hope this letter gets to you after my death.
We met in the first year of high school. You were the first to talk to me. You were different, it was easy to see, even if I never really understood how. Yet you were different. The fact that I couldn’t integrate was nothing new to me. My life forced me to grow up from a very young age. You know, I’ve always been at war with my life and my past. Sometimes cursing them for stopping me from being a stupid teen caring for nothing. Other times praising them for helping me get where I wanted.
High school went so fast. Same old story, stupid pranks, insults for not wanting to skip classes and nice words when they needed something from me. I was the typical loser. Even you participated a few times, remember? And then you always came to me for help. And I always helped you.
By the last year of high school you were the only person in that class I was fond of. You also managed to understand me, to some point. You were the only one who could cheer me up when everything around me was crumbling. You were the only one who believed in me when even I stopped doing it.
It was also by that time that I found about that you had a boyfriend. To be honest, I wasn’t very surprised. Such a beautiful girl couldn’t stay alone too much. He was a really nice guy, we got along very well. Yet something inside me was restless.
Do you remember that words spread out that I’m in love with you? Stupid classmates. But I made it look like a joke. I believed it was a joke and so did you. And that was exactly what I wanted.
You always wanted us to keep in touch even after high school. I never liked the idea. I wanted to leave everything and everybody behind and leave. But you wanted to keep in touch with me.
The final exam was no problem for us. We both went where we wanted even if I failed to go abroad for university. In the meantime you got married to him. I couldn’t come to your wedding. I was just a poor student from a poor family. What could I have offered you? Stupid question, now that think of it. I feel sorry now for not coming to your wedding. I wish I could see your happiness on your smiling lips.
It didn’t take long and everything changed for me. I became restless. You know how it goes, sleepless nights, calling your name when it wasn’t the case. And that cursed feeling that you have a hundred worms inside you tearing you to pieces from the inside. No, I don’t think you know this feeling. Better like that. My nights became a living hell. Every single thought of him touching your skin was like knife tearing my flesh in very small pieces. I’m a very possessive person. Way too possessive. I knew exactly what had happened to me. But it was too late.
I never talked to you about any of thing in our e-mails. Partly because I’ve always been a coward, and partly because I knew you were happy with him. And I wanted you to be happy. But mostly because I’m a coward.
And then, one day, you called me. Even now in this hopeless situation I find myself in, I can still hear your desperation shouting through my mind. What was it? Yes, car accident. What a cliché! The bastard smashed into your husband’s car at full speed. Instant death. No chance.
It struck me like a lighting bolt. I had lost one of my best friends. And you lost the man you loved. Can’t exactly tell you how I felt at that moment. Confused. Angry. And yet, somehow, in a sick way, happy. I was happy he was dead.
Perhaps this is my punishment. Maybe I truly deserve to die in this little village like the rat that I am. You know, God never sleeps. And he’s the most unbiased judge. Just like Death.
I took you home. I cared for you. I tried to help you get over the pain. I was finally free to love you. Even if I knew that I will never be able to have you heart. You were there, with me. I tried to make you forget him. I’m sorry.
This year it had snowed like in hell. Dozens you villages completely cut off. There weren’t enough people to help with this crisis. I was charged with this village to the south. I don’t really know why I accepted. We weren’t forced to. Maybe I wanted to run away. But from what?
I don’t know what will happen. Most probably none of us will survive. My hand is shaking. I won’t resist much longer. I only have one last request to make. Even if you will see an empty world in front of your eyes, promise me that you will continue to live and to be happy. Be happy for the two men who fought for your and who loved you. Start everything from zero and be happy. And if you can, forgive me.
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140,191 Literary Works • 673,040 Reviews
Hello Lycando and Fakecow. First of all thank you very much for the reviews. I took in consideration your advice Lycando and change a bit the last but so that now it also revels her name. I don't really want to give any information about the writer of the letter though. I wanted the letter to look like one of those people find after a tragedy or a war. I always found them much more misterious than those from which you get all the information.
I also checked the story again and corrected the mistakes that Fakecow pointed out. The mistake I did with "I never talked to you about any of thing in our e-mails" was actually supposed to be "I never talked to you about any of this in our e-mails", it was a mistake I made out of rush.
Also what I wanted to say with "Dozens of villages completely cut off" is that because of the heavy snowing many villages where cut of from the rest of the country in terms of transportation and communication. It sounded ok in my language but maybe it doesn't in English.
Also the part with "your" was because of the rush. I was pretty late yesterday and I really wanted to finish it.
Many mistakes that I do are due to the fact that English is not my native language.
I also tried to edit the text here but for some reason it doesn't show me the text. Only the Title and Description.
Hey there Ionut!
First of all, I see this is a letter, which tells us the history of the relationship between these two characters. And also it's organized in a timeline, from school friends to adults. Very unique way of telling a story, indeed.
You were very emotional in this, I mean your choice of words and the style of writing. No complicated or extravagant words but still you conveyed that message of regret, through simple yet powerful words.
FakeCrow has already gone through the nitpicking so I shan't bother. But I just have some ideas on how you could improve. First of all, I have no idea who any of your characters are. True, you're writing this to someone that you know as a letter. And also, the person probably knows who you're talking about in this story. But for the reader, we don't. It's also a good way to add some impact to your story. For example, the last sentence.
"And if you can, forgive me."
You could certainly add the name of the girl in this, it would have a much better ending. Also in letters, most people end off with Yours sincerely or truly. It's what makes a letter a letter.
Hope that my review helped!
Very intersting story, written in the form of a confession letter. I think the story is good, the idea and premise is fantastic, so besides a few grammar mistakes, this was a really good read!
First off, there is this one grammar error I caught: "I never talked to you about any of thing in our e-mails." Does that what you meant to write? I'm partly wondering whether you made the mistakes to make the story seem more realistic, since the person would be freezing and they might not be worrying about their grammar as much as their lives. anyways, I think that it should be something like, "I never talked to you about it in any of our e-mails." Honestly, it just looks like the words were rushing out of your fingertips so fast that you accidentally missed a few words, but it's not hard to fix.
The other I saw was in the end paragraph: "Dozens you villages completely cut off." This looks like one of those sentences that looks okay when you write it, but later realize it doesn't make any sense. It's also an easy fix. I'm not sure exactly what the sentence was supposed to mean, but you shouldn't have a problem fixing it.
In the third to last sentence, it says: "Be happy for the two men who fought for your and who loved you." The "your" seems to be misplaced. Either change it to "you", or you should change the sentence around so that it makes more sense.
Besides all that, great job, keep up the good work.
Is that what you meant to write*